Chapter 1 - okay I'm David and I realised i sold my soul

Ahem ahem I'm David but I swear i sold my soul like a couple years ago and I said if I sell my soul I'll be able to become demon king, but I didn't think that my schizophrenic episode would actually be real like, I was high and drunk and I didn't even sleep for three days how was I supposed to know I was gonna be killed at 29 fuck man I hate this so much like I'm over here on my birthday and some bitch all red and black hair and and greyish looking skin and comes over and introduces her self as Satan and says okay it's now your time to die sorry my son and new king but you also have to suffer for a thousands years in hell only for my supposedly younger brother sister thing called grey comes out and say aha suck shit bro your gonna hate this then fucking Jesus comes out and goes like sorry my dad also said he did kinda sell his soul to be immortal so he's not going to die like I'm here in my bed thinking like what the fuck who the fuck are these people and now I'm immortal and this new family with the demons and from what I remember from my schizophrenic episode I had Jesus and like all those mother fuckers I thought werent real in my house and now, I just realised I'm screwed like physically and mentally screwed what am I gonna do,ya know imma sleep maybe I'm just to crazy right now who knows. I'll invite Blake over later tomorrow.