I wake up after a peaceful sleep. To my surprise, I was no longer walking, and I was not lying in my father's arms again. It was comfy from where I woke up, and I found out it was the worst couch I ever laid on. It's not cushy, it's not soft, and it's not even a good-looking couch. It looks like someone puked on it when they made it.
"Aah! Yucky sofa!"
"Wait, where am I?"
I was in the building, waking up without my lure. I thought I might have wandered too far again from the candy I ate, just like I did back in the Institute with Mr Volcker. However, my fear was quickly diminished when I saw a portrait of my brother on the walls.
I finally made it home! Though I didn't get to see the journey myself. The home was perfect, almost like what I imagined home would be. There are walls, ceilings, and even a lamp on the ceiling. I never thought that I finally made it here.
"Woah..." I am tempted by the window's view. It was a beach outside, an ocean across the Dorwillion Dorweters with ships and humans on the sand. My home was on the coast, too! Ooh, I suddenly feel a tingly sensation of relaxing on the sand now.
"Hehehe! Beach time!" As I opened the door with so much thought about basking my toes on the sand, I was surprised to see my brother standing behind it, fittingly at the frame. He was blocking me like a wall, keeping me out of that view.
"What are you doing?" He asked me out of the purple. I fell way further back than I thought I would.
"Ah! Brother, you scared me! If you excuse me, I wanted to go to the beach now."
"You couldn't even walk past ten steps. What gives you the idea I would let you walk outside like that?"
I wake up after a peaceful sleep. To my surprise, I was no longer walking, and I was not lying in my father's arms again. It was comfy from where I woke up, and I found out it was the worst couch I ever laid on. It's not cushy, it's not soft, and it's not even a good-looking couch. It looks like someone puked on it when they made it.
"Aah! Yucky sofa!"
"Wait, where am I?"
I was in the building, waking up without my lyre. I thought I might have wandered too far again from the candy I ate, just like I did back in the Institute with Mr Volcker. However, my fear was quickly diminished when I saw a portrait of my brother on the walls.
I finally made it home! Though I didn't get to see the journey myself. The home was perfect, almost like what I imagined home would be. There are walls, ceilings, and even a lamp on the ceiling. I never thought that I finally made it here.
"Woah..." I am tempted by the window's view. It was a beach outside, an ocean across the Dorwillion Dorweters with sails and trees from distant. My home was on the coast! Ooh, I suddenly feel a tingly sensation of relaxing on the sand now.
"Hehehe! Beach time!" As I opened the door with so much thought about basking my toes on the sand, I was surprised to see my brother standing behind it, fittingly at the frame. He was blocking me like a wall, keeping me out of that view.
"What are you doing?" He asked me out of the purple. I fell way further back than I thought I would.
"Ah! Brother, you scared me! If you excuse me, I wanted to go to the beach now."
"You couldn't even walk past ten steps. What gives you the idea I would let you walk outside like that?"
I couldn't find my parents or Dr Volcker anywhere. Darren was the only one staying with me here, sitting on the same couch I was laid on. I didn't know how he could have liked it, but he seemed content being alone without joy. Silly human, you wouldn't find peace by idling in your indifference.
"Mom and dad are going outside with that doctor of yours. They won't be back until dusk, so behave while I'm around."
"That's bad! I wish I could've seen them here. They look so good in this picture!"
They were outside? I didn't think they would've left us without a word. This whole place was lonelier without the more presence of humans. The fireplace is empty, the hallway is dusty, and the windows are all closed, with no means for air to circulate.
"Ooh..."
The more I looked into this house, the more I found the little me. Turns out, little Doorwell wasn't always a gingerbread girl! She has the dough of a freshly wheat cookie, with more vanilla icing or a poorly baked dough! I've always thought that maybe these new Doorwell dough textures would suit me more now!
"Are you having fun with those pictures? Sounds like you regret nothing from what you have been through..." He mumbled.
"Why should I? I look way much better this way!"
"Of course you are..." My brother's tone is strange. I'm starting to think that he wasn't too saddened by me but rather annoyed. Pearl used to have the same act when she looked at me, and only I found out she was angry with me. I feel really terrible now, but I don't understand why Darren has a grudge against me.
I was silenced by his demeanour. I looked at him with pity as I tried stretching my wings to cover his head, but he refused and sat away from me. Was he jealous of me? Does he think I took the family's love from him? I didn't mean to do that! Why has everyone always mistaken me as one?
"Why are you...angry?"
"Angry? I'm not angry..." He speaks differently than I thought. I tried making sense of his words, but Darren spoke senselessly like Foobo.
"But you're not..." I replied, and then he went again.
"What? I'm not happy with you? Is that what you're saying?"
He looked left and right as if he was watching for something. Then he looked at me with a sharp eye, still angry and disappointed with me. His face approached mine as he grabbed my wings and kept me seated from another side. Then he whispers...
"N-no! Brother, I was just—"
"Shut up...just...shut up..."
He hugged me despite his hatred, tears flying over his eyes, but nothing about his action speaks of malice to me. I am speechless. He refused anything I said despite my plea and reasonable kindness. Darren's expectation of me was somewhat more unique than I thought me and Pearl had. But I couldn't say he was holding a grudge. He was...sad? But Doorwell also couldn't help him.
But something makes him so much different than when we met. He was so sad about something, that he hugged me in the hope of easing it. I still couldn't tell what exactly he was crying for, but it seemed sad enough to hug me so tightly.
"Before you were...before you were Doorwell." He mumbled.
"You were Dorriel. You were my sister. But the last day that you were my sister, you made it personal for me and you."
It all started from the moment I was called Dorriel. I was as innocent as I was in his eyes, but that only lasted for a few moments after what happened between us. For him, I was an image of unkindness that took something important from him forever.
"Mom and dad didn't tell you how we lost you, did they? Because they didn't know what happened. But I did..."
"Years ago, I had a crush on Amanda from middle school, but I was too embarrassed to tell her. And then you were there, catching a glimpse of my confession and tried playing 'hero' by helping me out."
"Aww. I can already tell!" I praised. But I think it didn't make him happy.
"You were trying to help me, but you were messing it up. You made her laugh at me, and even make it worse."
My hopes immediately shattered when I heard his disappointment in my duty. Never before have I ever ruined someone's life by helping their love out. Since then, Darren has been wounded by my failed attempt at matchmaking. How can I not see this? This disappointment—it feels so deserving for someone so gullible like me.
"I cried, you know? I cried because most children started fooling me! You were even ridiculing me for that!"
"You almost ruined my life in school, and then I couldn't even go because I know they will find me and laugh at me!"
"But then...Then you tried to fix it like the Doorwell you are now. You decided to make one more sacrifice to appease Amanda just for once..."
"You really dare those kids who bullied me. Well, you were actually negotiating with them."
"And I gave them a speech that changed their heart, am I?" I waited for my scene, and then...
"More like trouble that you involved me with."
"Oh..."
I feel terrible. I can see the human Doorwell trying her best in the worst way, and it was reasonable for Darren to feel sad and brokenhearted. Too bad she wasn't Doorwell like me when that happened, so maybe she was playing a druid on the humans. A fool druid! But then, my fear was swept by Darren with another hope.
"But you change her heart. Amanda's heart. I mean, I did it...but if it wasn't for you and your trouble, Amanda wouldn't see how strong I am beating those kids alone..."
"Took some bruises, but now Amanda think I was a warrior, fell in love and we are together since then."
"Woo! Yeah!"
My heart leaps for him. He succeeded even in my poorest attempt, and he even got to stay forever with this Amanda, too! Oh, how I feel more relieved to stretch my wings and lay low near him. Still, he wasn't happy with me.
"I...I was surprised I got her. Amanda and I are still dating now! Heck, we even dated six times. It was that easy because I just had to be a brave man you've pulled me over."
"Yay...? One more point of love for Doorwell the ever-loving Joyling!" I am a humble Joyling, but it's hard to resist a chance to see bloomers happy.
"Life was amazing. I feel uplifted, I get my school's life better, and I have a brilliant future ahead of me."
The conversation felt hazy to me. From a terrible attitude came an appraisal for a change of heart. Yet Darren remains angered at me for being too helpful to him! Was apology something he didn't want me to do? He thinks I wouldn't do that.
"So, what happened? Did I get to be invited? I bet I was there helping you out with her date, did I?"
For a moment he was angry, then he was happy at the thought of earning his bloom. Now, he was saddened, seemingly struck by something new in his head when I ask him that question. Did his love for Amanda remain? Or has it broken enough without my presence that made him angry?
"You were supposed to. You were supposed to be...there." His thought was calm—angry but not furious to me anymore. I feel weirded by his emotion because he looks so angered, but not anyone else. I want to know where he sets his fury to?
"Oh, well. Maybe I was—"
"You weren't. You weren't with me, or with anyone, or that you were with yourself. You're gone. Gone like the last crumble of cookie falling into the oven..."
"You failed again. You failed to do one simple thing..."
"Showing up. And I have to find you...myself..."
"Well, did you find me?"
Darren suddenly pauses. Out of nowhere, he was in a trance by his words. He looked into the horizon, then from the window to the coast. His head was empty like someone I know, but he wasn't looking at the light. He was looking at the unbloomed blue flower on the window. But why?
"Darren? Darren!" I called him out of his dream. His eyes had never been so locked like that. Yet I see no source of light he was looking. When he snapped, her remembers a few of his words, but he lost his rage from losing a sight of me.
"Aah! What...? Oh, right. I couldn't find you, so I...I cannot apologize to you! Look what you made me do...!"
I was ready to leave this talking at last. It started to feel like I was not going anywhere from this talking, but a false redemption. And Darren was feeling more grumpy than before. I can feel his nought-for love growing in my stomach, making me hungry in pain.
"I see. I'll see myself repairing for that mistake, then." I plea as I want to ease his pain.
But my brother suddenly turned so quickly from that offer. He presses his grip on my shoulders, forcing me to stay on the couch before I can stretch my wings to feel the air from the window. I started to feel unpleasant, hungry and a bit of staleness on my tongue.
"No, just don't do anything! Don't." He pauses.
"Just let me do this for you. I'm going to do what I must now, and I need you to listen to me from now on. You hear me?"
"Y-yes, sir! I mean, brother..." I saluted with such agreement we've made. His face looks less angry but better than being forever glum.
Nevertheless, my brother and I find a way to resolve our past. I didn't mind that, really. Anything to keep him happy, I guess. But now I'm hungry, and when I'm hungry, I want nothing but candy to feed me. I hope I can find a candy here to replace my satiation with L.O.V.E.
"We're home! Did our little Dorriel wake up already?" My father mumbled.
"Darren, did you take care of Dorriel already?" My mother mumbled.
"Yes, father. Dorriel's is happy right here..."
"Yeah...I...did..."
My parents are coming home, yet I cannot feel the joy in me. I felt so unmotivated and undesirable even just to stretch my wings. But Darren was happy and content with something at least, which made my parents happy.
"Glad to hear that! I know Darren would be so caring for you!" My dad complimented on him.
"Dorry, are you alright?"
I was craving for a sweet, but Dr Volcker warned me not to eat one. I'm resisting at my best, but the last candy I ate clouded me with temptation. I'm starting to sweat again, and I feel my heart beating slower than ever. Oh, the feeling of loveless tension hits again.
"Yeah, I'm fine. At least you're happy, Darren..." I mumbled. —————————————————————————————————
[Darren's Note #1]
Street empty.
Dark night.
I trailed.
I find none.
She's not home.
I am desperate.
Angry? Sad? Afraid?
Perhaps sad.
But then.
I saw.
Her shoe.
She's near.
She'll be punished.
I followed.
I saw.
A blue flower.
Haven't bloomed.
So big.
So weird.
Curious.
I open.
A pungent smell.
Not a flower.
To my surprise.
You.