"'Karma is a bitch' is what most say and I think they all are fucking hypocrites cursing something whose whole idea is doing justice.
The real bitch is fate but they never curse it. Fucking cowards. They fear it. Cursing fate might bring bad luck.
If one believes in fate then why would they curse it only to get bad luck and if they don't believe in fate… then why would they bother to curse it heh. 'Ignorance is bliss' huh.
...I curse luck or maybe I am cursed by luck. Whichever it is, I sure as fuck hate luck.
At least when karma strikes, you can regret your choices but when luck fucks you, the most you can do is cry about it. And I am sure that bitch god of luck laughs when we cry.
Born blind, the only good luck I have ever had is finding you buddy." James said caressing his dog, Lucky's back, sitting on the bed of his room.
"Woof…" Lucky answered with a small bark.
The room was small with a bed, a computer, table-chair, 2 doors and window.
On the bed was a man sitting with his eyes closed, leaning against the wall, a gloomy face facing the ceiling.
On his lap was a golden retriever whom he was was patting with love.
*Puff*
James dragged a puff from his joint.
"You know, when my parents died and I became an orphan at the age of 12 I didn't feel sad. I just wished for revenge or justice as I called it then.
They died in a terrorist attack and I sat in front of T.V. for days, changing news channel." James said slowly exhaling the smoke from his mouth.
"You know how many days they showed the news of the attack? 1 whole day kek. I sat there waiting for the news to tell that they got arrested but what they showed instead was how an actor was having an affair. It was more important to them heh." James scoffed dragging another puff from the joint.
*Puff*
*Hahhh*
*Whimper*
Lucky let out a whimper turning his head and looking at James' face.
"Heh, what are you feeling sad about? I told ya I didn't feel sad. All I felt was anger…. and perhaps despair. I didn't feel like crying. I don't like crying."
James extinguished the joint in his ashtray.
"I feel whenever I cry that if there is a fucking goddess or god of luck, then that bitch is sitting somewhere laughing at me." James said patting lucky on his back.
"So where was I? Yeah, they died. Well nothing really changed. They left me with enough money to complete college. Nothing more I needed. I didn't felt sad that they were no more. I did want revenge but I... didn't miss them. I have never loved anyone so much as to miss that person you know.
Even right now, I don't miss Granny Clara. I loved them all and I could die for them but I don't feel sad for their death. The only thing I felt was responsibility. They did their best for me and I did mine for them and now it feels like all my responsibilities are over,,,
Nothing much changed in my life after my parent's death.
Maybe bullying in school increased.
Bullying was happening even before that day but those assholes! They started fucking doing their best to me tick me off.
And you know buddy, I got ticked off. The day when I went to school after their death, a bastard started touching my eyelids, opening and closing them while I was simply sitting in my chair. The only disability that bitch had was stammering so, of course, among us people like them felt like they were the boss.
But that day I was annoyed. No particular reason, maybe my anger on my their death or maybe mood swings of a teenager boy, I don't know...
So when that bastard opened my eyelid for the third time, something clicked and I stopped thinking. One of my hand held his neck while the other beat the shit out of his face, making him bleed before some adults came and pulled me off.
That guy had fainted by then and the adults warned me that his parents might file a police complain against me.
Then I got scared. Not for myself but for granny Clara. Will she get in trouble? Will she be harmed by this bastard's family? That was all I kept thinking.
Heh. Funnily that bastard's parents were divorced and had sent him there just because he was a problem child in those 'normal schools'. They didn't care about him, probably even if he died. Kekekek.
After that he never came in front of me so I could never beat him again but I did not get that much angry again in my life after that.
I know that if I was not stopped by the adults, I would have killed him. I was not scared of killing, and that is what made me keep my cool even when fighting. So that my insensitivity doesn't harm granny in any way.
Others did bully me even after that. When someone was close enough for me to grab, I would beat him, moderately. Enough so that they feel fear and don't try shit again.
But most of the time it was unavoidable bullying with them throwing stuff. I am telling you, they were all fucking cowards." James scoffed.
"I just studied most of my life. I love learning new things.
And for learning, recorded lectures were my lifeline.
They were more than enough for me to be better than most of the others. A bit of a genius I was, not to brag.
I even got admitted in Oxford, it is one of the best institution for engineering among us humans you know."
"Woof"
James gave a wry smile as he reminisced about his college life.
"Life there was good for the most part.
There was no bullying.
Mostly felt pity for me. Some fuckers were jealous. Maybe many were. I was the top student in my year even though I was blind.
I just felt they were stupid.
I seldom attended classes. The teacher spoke very slowly and it was boring to me. I preferred watching recorded lectures on 4x speed.
The only friends I have ever made were there. They helped me a lot.
I was not a parasite though. I did coding related projects for them. That was all I could give them. Can't expect me to make presentation kek.
Later, I worked as a freelance website creator for companies and earned enough to financially retire at the age of 27.
Granny Clara was the only one I was working hard for. She was the only one who looked after me after my parents died, she was the one whom I talked to whenever something good happened, she was…. the only one I had been working hard for and now she is also dead heh."
"Woof" Lucky barked, nudging his head on James' elbow.
"Yeah buddy you are still with me but I will be honest, you have been with me for 3 years. I am grateful to you but all I consider you is a friend. Helpful and loyal but friend…"
*Growl*
"Kekek, well I am not the type to say sweet words and you know it. You are 5 years old and yeah maybe I am everything to you but… you have only lived half of your life-"
"Bark Bark" Lucky barked cutting James' sentence.
"Shut Up!" James shouted angrily looking down towards lucky. "Just listen for fuck's sake, I have already taken a dose of poison so all I got are perhaps 5 minutes so listen to me you fucker!"
Lucky sat straight on James' lap, whimpering, and put his head on James' shoulder as if hugging.
"…I have called a friend of mine and already gave him all my savings. He will take care of you. He is good, I trust him. I even asked him to take you to NGO's and other places where you can fuck some bitches kek." James said looking down with his eyes closed.
"Growl" Lucky growled with tears in his eyes.
"Man you got nothing to worry about, trust me. I was not even taking care of you man. You were the one who took care of me, it was more of you taking me on walks than me taking you. If I was not born blind then maybe...
Well whatever, lived plenty, plenty bad but plenty nonetheless. Thanks for being with me buddy, thanks for taking care of me and don't be sad, death is what I want.
I never felt any attachment for life or fear for death. I was only living till now because of granny Clara.
I had bought poison the day granny died. Just waited till today to attend her funeral, the last thing I had to do for her heh. Got nothing more to do...
One thing I always live by is to keep least number of decisions in luck's hand. Granny's death was in luck's hand but I will chose mine." James said and started laughing maniacally.
"Kekekekekekek-cough-cough-cough, heh lovely." James laughed rubbing his fingers on his palm feeling his blood on his hands as he fell limp with his back against the wall.
"Bark Bark" Lucky barked sniffing James face hysterically.
"Chillax buddy not dead yet." James smirked with his face pale, head hanging downward.
"For some reason I keep remembering my life man. Maybe I still fear death a bit.
I did my best and I don't have any regrets. Regrets are not my thing… Taste of blood heh." James said, tasting the blood leaking from his mouth.
"Novels and stand up comedy were the only thing I could entertain myself with.
Can't play video games, can't watch movies or animes. Songs are also good but if loud, they make me feel handicapped heh.
Even novels were enjoyable because of the option of A.I. reading the novel out loud." James said trying to shift a bit, failing and falling on the bed.
"Whimper" Lucky held him, supporting him with his body and then slowly let him down and helped him lay on the bed.
"Saga of Isurt. That novel only got one volume but still became my favorite. A hero who was born a commoner but rose and a villain who was born a noble but fell to the hero." James said with a small smile.
"I hate villains and heroes you know. Not because of the killing a villain does, or saving the world ideology a hero has. I don't care about such things.
Heroes are still somewhat bearable as at least they succeed in the end even if they do something stupid.
What I hate more are villain. These motherfuckers are generally born with everything and yet they fucking fail. If I were in their place I would live so much better!
They are unlucky is what others say but I think they are more... of... dumbfucks." James said, breathing becoming harder to him.
"Heroes... are... lucky... and... stupid... and... villains... are… just... stupid." Were the last words James said as he took his last breaths.