The world around Kasien was slowly fading, the edges of reality blurring like a dream slipping through his fingers. He could hear voices calling to him, distant whispers that seemed to come from every direction, but they were too muffled, too far away for him to understand. He could feel the magic pulsing inside him, thrumming in time with his heart.
But his heart felt weak, sluggish, and every beat seemed like a reminder of how much longer he could hold on.
Elara's words still echoed in his mind, a constant refrain that cut through the fog of his thoughts. What happens when you've given everything, and there's nothing but emptiness?
He could feel it now, more than ever before—the emptiness inside him. It wasn't just the magic. It wasn't just the toll of healing people, one after another. It was everything. Every moment he had spent running away from the truth. Every person he had tried to save at the expense of his own soul.
And now, he was starting to see it clearly. The truth of what he had become. He wasn't a healer anymore. He wasn't a savior. He was a wraith, a hollow shell that had nothing left but the ghosts of the people he had failed.
He had walked this path for so long that it had become impossible to turn back. And yet, even now, as his legs gave way beneath him and his vision blurred further, a part of him refused to stop.
"I can't stop," he whispered to himself, the words a mantra he had repeated countless times. But now, they no longer felt like a conviction. They felt like a lie. A desperate lie to keep him moving forward, even as the world crumbled beneath him.
The ground beneath him shifted, and suddenly, Kasien was on his knees, his face pressed against the cold earth. He gasped for breath, his lungs burning as though every inhalation were a fight for survival. The magic inside him surged again, a violent wave that threatened to pull him under. He gritted his teeth, fighting against the tide, but it was no use.
"Kasien…"
It was Elara's voice again, clearer this time. She was kneeling beside him, her hands on his shoulders, her eyes wide with fear and sorrow. Her touch was warm, and for the first time in what felt like an eternity, Kasien didn't feel the cold emptiness that had plagued him. For just a moment, there was something real. Something human. Something that reminded him that there was still a part of him that hadn't been completely lost.
"I'm sorry," Kasien gasped, his words barely audible. His chest heaved with the effort of speaking, but the weight of his regret was too much to bear. "I've… failed. I've failed everyone."
"No," Elara said firmly, her voice trembling with emotion. "You haven't failed anyone, Kasien. You've given everything you have. But you can't keep going like this. You can't keep running from yourself."
"I don't know who I am anymore," Kasien whispered, his voice thick with despair. "I don't know if I'm even human anymore."
Elara's expression softened, her hands gently cupping his face, forcing him to look at her. "You're still human, Kasien. You're just… lost. You're drowning in this burden you've carried alone for too long. But you don't have to do it alone anymore."
Kasien's heart ached at her words, but the truth was too painful to accept. He had been alone in this for so long. Alone in his pain, in his guilt, in his need to save others while sacrificing himself. It was all he knew.
"I don't know how to stop," he admitted, the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. "I don't know how to live without this. Without the magic. Without being needed."
Elara's voice softened, a quiet understanding in her eyes. "You're still needed, Kasien. But not like this. Not at the cost of your own life. You have to choose to save yourself first."
Kasien closed his eyes, the weight of her words pressing down on him like a physical force. How could he save himself? How could he walk away from the very thing that had defined him for so long? The healer, the one who mended broken bodies, the one who made the pain go away. It was all he had ever been. It was the only thing left.
"You have a choice," Elara continued, her voice firm but gentle. "You can keep going like this, and you'll lose everything. Or you can let go. You can live. You can find who you are again, Kasien. But you have to let go of the magic. Let go of the need to fix everything. Let go of the belief that you're the only one who can save the world."
Kasien shook his head slowly, the idea foreign and terrifying. He had never considered the possibility of letting go. Of walking away from the very thing that had defined him. Could he even do it? Could he be human again, without the magic, without the weight of the world on his shoulders?
"I'm afraid," he whispered, his voice breaking. "I'm afraid of what will happen if I stop. I'm afraid of who I'll be without it."
"I know," Elara said softly, her thumb gently wiping away a tear that had slipped down his cheek. "But you don't have to be afraid anymore. You don't have to be alone."
The words felt like a lifeline, but Kasien couldn't quite reach them. He was so tired, so broken. He had given so much of himself away, and now there was barely anything left. The emptiness was a constant companion, a reminder of everything he had lost.
But even in that emptiness, Kasien felt something stir. Something small. A flicker of hope. It wasn't much, but it was enough. Maybe, just maybe, it was enough to start the journey back.
"I don't know if I can," Kasien murmured, his voice raw.
"You don't have to do it all at once," Elara said softly. "But you have to try. For you. Not for anyone else."
Kasien closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, he let the magic simmer down inside him, its frantic energy no longer pulling at him, no longer demanding. It was hard, almost impossible, but he forced himself to hold it back. To find some peace within the storm.
For the first time, he didn't feel like a tool, a vessel for the world's pain. He felt like a person again. And for the first time in so long, he allowed himself to believe that maybe, just maybe, he could find his way back.