Haruka took a deep breath in front of the door.
It was already dark. Her stomach growled, but that wasn't the reason her hand trembled on the doorknob. What made her heart pound now was a small decision that felt big: to go out.
Not to open a window or accept food from a deliveryman. But to go outside the house, to
walk down the street to the convenience store.
It was only five minutes from the rental house, she said.
But to Haruka, it could as well be five years.
Taking a few deep breaths, she eventually opened the door. The wind of the afternoon hit her face, and for a moment, it was invigorating. The sky was turning dark, a pale orange line between the low-rise rooftops of this small town. She looked down, wearing a hoodie and a mask. Her steps were slow and guarded, as if she were in an alien world.
The convenience store wasn't big. But the instant the glass door swung open and the "ting-tong" greeting was heard, Haruka already felt… misplaced.
Not because of where it was. But because of the sound.
The sound of the cash register ringing, the tune of pop music from the store radio, the sound of plastic bags rustling, the weeping of children, the chattering of mothers in a hasty tone. All the noises seemed to hit her head from all directions. She tried to focus on the fast food shelf, but her eyes were rattled. Her breathing began to enter irregular rhythms. Her hands were trembling as she held an onigiri.
But just as she was going to walk up to the cashier with it, someone accidentally bumped into her arm. Haruka instinctively jerked back. Her heart was pounding. The hand holding the onigiri released it.
Her head spun.
She quickly left the food rack, put back the food she had taken randomly, and ran out of the convenience store without looking back.
The moment she stepped into her room, Haruka closed the door immediately and leaned against the wall. She was still panting. She did not cry. But her body was shaking as if she had just run a marathon. Her eyes were empty, looking at the ground.
How embarrassing, she thought. Just because of a voice. Just because of someone.
She tucked her knees in and clasped them together. As though she had once again been a failure. Even ordinary tasks like shopping for food couldn't be done quietly.
The hour was after six. She'd had no supper at home. But ordering on the food app felt layered on with a residue of guilt. As though she was giving in once again.
But deep down, she knew that pressuring tonight would only leave her in a larger mess.
Then, with the very last amount of energy and a small shiver in her fingers, she ordered food as usual.
And as usual, soon enough, the doorbell rang.
Kaito arrived as usual, with his jacket, somewhat rumpled hair, and soft smile.
"Haruka-san," he spoke softly. "Sorry, it was late, the small road is full." Haruka just nodded. She could sense but not speak much. Her face appeared tired, even tired than normal.
Kaito did seem to catch on. But he didn't say anything. He just handed her a plastic bag full of food. And then, when he was leaving, he grumbled, "Oh, here. I'll add a little."
Haruka checked out her plastic bag.
And inside, unexpectedly, was a cold ion beverage, a tiny bottle of it.
And on that, as usual, a sticky note.
This time, there was a very small chicken bowl affixed to the corner of the page.
Written in the middle:
"Want to try oyakodon tomorrow? Comfort food is soft."
Haruka paused for a moment.
She was clutching the water bottle. The water was still cold. As if she knew that her body needed more moisture than water. As if she knew that today was. hard.
The sticky note was like a little blanket sent with letters.
She did not know whether Kaito had seen it by chance or intentionally. But that second of notice had crept into the weakest spot of her today.
And for the first time in a while, Haruka smiled. Barely.
That night, Haruka ate silently. Not because the food tasted good, but because her heart was slightly lighter.
As she was getting ready for bed, she stuck the new Post-it note to the wall, below the two others.
There were three now.
Three little pieces of paper from a person who didn't say much at all, but could so perfectly make a person feel. there.
And for the first time since entering, Haruka set an alarm on her phone.
Tomorrow. Maybe she will try ordering oyakodon.