From the center of the world, I shouted with all my heart.
"Aaaah~! I want to have sexxx~~!!"
At that, the people passing by stared at me as if I were an metally-ill individual.
A busy alleyway.
A hot spot packed with bars, delicious restaurants, and date destinations.
Beautiful women with make-up and pretentious guys were swarming like cockroaches.
I was the only one alone there.
Because I was just dumped by my girlfriend.
No, it's hard to even say I was dumped. I don't even know if she was ever a real girlfriend in the first place.
We only said we were dating, but we never did anything couple-like.
So, before breaking up, I asked if we could at least have sex once.
But what came back wasn't sex, but a slap to the face.
"Damn it... I'm confident I could be good at it."
Stroking my still-tingling cheek, I glared resentfully at the passing couples.
I was confident that if I just *did* it, I could be good at it.
But the problem was that I couldn't even get to the starting line of 'doing' it in the first place.
What's the difference between me and that guy walking around with a beauty on his arm?
Is it the face? It's the face, isn't it! Fuck!
"Hic?!"
I glared at some pretty boy passing by as if I were going to eat him, and the man ran away as if avoiding a madman.
"Damn it."
I swallowed my anger and hurried home.
Then a group of women caught my eye.
About seven or eight young women were walking in a line right in front of me.
Women, am I right? They always walk around in groups, but they never move out of the way.
Oh. The epitome of self-centeredness!
Why do women always walk in a line like that, even in narrow alleys?
Especially when they clearly see someone coming straight towards them.
Come to think of it, in dramas, even if a man and woman bump into each other while walking, a connection is born.
But that's because they're as pretty and handsome as actors, right?
If a guy like me bumped into a woman, it would probably just start a fight.
Thinking about it made me even angrier.
"Ah!"
-Thump!
Was it because I was walking while thinking such things? Eventually, something happened.
I tried to angle my shoulder slightly to avoid the women coming towards me.
But the woman walking right in front of me didn't move even 1 millimeter. As if it was 100% natural for me, a man, to stick to the wall and avoid her.
As a result, my shoulder, trying to avoid her, slightly bumped into her shoulder. (Even though the woman was my type, I didn't bump into her on purpose.)
Slightly. Very slightly. It was at a level where we just barely brushed against each other and separated, just a fleeting touch.
I only felt the sensation of a butterfly landing and flying away.
But apparently, it wasn't the same for her.
"Shit! What the hell?!"
The woman made a fuss and raised her voice.
Wow. Figures.
Just the reaction I expected.
"What is it? What is it?"
"What's wrong? Are you hurt?"
"Did you bump into him?"
The women who had been standing in a line instantly gathered into a group.
Fuck. If you can do that, walk around like that from the start.
"Mister! If you hit someone, you should apologize, shouldn't you?"
The woman I bumped into glared at me and rushed at me.
Of course, I was also at fault for not completely dodging.
But if we're talking about accident fault, it's 3:7, or at worst 4:6, the woman's fault is bigger.
Even a lawer would grab the back of his neck in disbelief.
More than anything, the way she was talking was so fucking annoying.
Shit.
"No, I didn't hit you, you were the one who..."
"What about it?!"
I spoke politely, but the woman was about to hit me.
Damn it. Should I really just hit her?
Women thing. They've never been hit before, so they can't even imagine being hit.
So they do things that cross the line, things that deserve a beating, without a second thought.
But the woman was in a group, so I was definitely at a disadvantage.
Even if I'm dragged to the police station, they'll unconditionally side with her.
Wouldn't my life be ruined if I got framed for something weird?
"Haa..."
I'm finally getting some fresh air. I didn't want to mess up my life for nothing.
Even though it was unfair, I endured it. And I was just going to apologize and be done with it.
Then.
A woman in the group, who had been looking this way with a nonchalant expression, said loudly,
"Huh? Hey! Aren't you Juji King?"
"Huh?"
Juji King.
I didn't mishear. And it's probably not that this woman misspoke.
Juji King was none other than my childhood nickname.
The reason I got that nickname is very simple.
...Because my name is Ju Ji-han.
And, it's just that my *thing* is king-sized(huge), so I got that nickname.
For elementary schoolers, names are like springs that gush with nicknames.
It was a natural flow to twist my name Ju Ji-han into Juji King, or Jaji King.
But that was a long time ago.
After high school, naturally, no one called me that anymore. We're not elementary schoolers.
But to be called that by a woman my age at this stage in my life. Should I be happy about this?
"Uh, what? Wh-who are you? Miss?"
Judging by the fact that she's calling me Juji King, there's a high possibility she's a childhood friend.
So I was going to speak informally. But for some reason, the atmosphere among the women suddenly turned tense. That's why I quickly used honorifics.
What is going on? They weren't this hostile even when I was arguing with that woman earlier.
Is there any need for everyone to glare at me like they're going to kill me just because I spoke informally?
"Ahaha! Look at this guy. It's me! Don't you know who I am?"
"Uh…"
But the woman, not caring about the atmosphere, patted my shoulder roughly, acting friendly.
Uh? What's going on, really?
I'm used to the nickname "Juji King," but I don't remember ever being called that by a woman.
Of course, it was a nickname only used among guys, and women would hate it if they happened to hear it.
But now there's a woman calling me "Juji King," so I can't help but be dumbfounded.
If I had such a pretty woman around, there's no way I wouldn't remember.
"Sister, do you know him?"
"Senior, let's just go quickly."
"Yeah. He's ugly as fuck too. Annoying people."
"…What?"
Anyway, just as the situation was heading towards a resolution.
Even I, who am called the reincarnation of Buddha, couldn't just let those words pass.
I can endure being insulted for my looks. It's true that I'm ugly.
But I can't forgive someone for insulting my face.
"What the fuck did you just say?"
The woman who insulted my face was the one who bumped into me.
She started muttering and blaming me again.
"Well, you bumped into me and didn't even apologize…"
At that moment.
-SMACK!
The sound of a slap rang out crisply.
For a moment, I flinched, thinking I had been hit.
But it wasn't.
The woman I was arguing with was holding her cheek, looking incredulous.
The girl who had slapped her was the girl who had acted like she knew me.
My jaw dropped.
"Get lost. You're ruining my mood."
"j-Jimin...?"
The surprises didn't end there.
I expected the woman who was hit to lash out with her nasty temper, but in front of the girl who hit her, she became completely docile, even groveling?
"S-Sorry, Jimin. I didn't mean to..."
"Jimin-sunbae. Joyoung-unni didn't mean to do it, please calm down."
And other women were trying to mediate between them with cute gestures.
...Wait a minute.
Jimin? Jimin, you said?
"Fucking hell! All of you, get lost!"
The girl who hit her snapped.
Only then did the group of women jump in surprise and scurry away.
Some of them even tried to sweet-talk her, saying things like, 'Sunbae, I'll text you' until the very end.
"Ha, fucking hell. That's why women are like this."
The girl grumbled, left alone in her seat.
What is she talking about when she's a woman herself?
No, there was a more important problem.
"Hey, are you by any chance Jung Jimin?"
"You recognizing me now, you bastard?"
A bright smile bloomed on the face of the girl who turned to look at me.
"No... but you..."
My head was filled with confusion.
If it's Seong Ji-min, we were childhood best friends, growing up in the same neighborhood until elementary school.
But...
I looked back and forth between her face, chest, and hips.
Face. Pretty, delicate, and slender. Her features are distinct, and her face is only the size of my fist.
Chest. Her parents must have fed her only good things. Despite being skinny, her chest was prominently protruding.
Hips. Are her parents perhaps foreigners? It was like she had another set of breasts attached to her behind.
She wasn't a childhood best friend.
She was definitely a girl.
"What."
"Why are you a girl?"
"What are you talking about? I was always a girl, you fucker."
"???"
No?
That can't be?
"Did you perhaps... have a sex change?"
I have a fairly open mind about modern PC society.
So I asked without prejudice, but the person listening didn't seem to think so.
-Whack!
Seong Ji-min smacked me on the head.
"I told you, I was always a girl, you bastard!"
Even after hearing that, my head was still confused.
How can that bastard Seong Ji-min be a girl?
I dredged up fragmentary memories from my childhood.
'Juji King! Why is Juji King called Juji King?'
'Why else! Because his dick is king-sized, that's why!'
In front of Seong Ji-min, who asked that, I flashed my dangling dick.
Then, looking at my dangling dick, Seong Ji-min exclaimed in admiration.
'Ooh! Just as expected, Juji King! Living up to the name!'
Being praised like that was a small joy in my childhood.
Having a bigger dick than the surrounding elementary school kids was a subtle pride.
Come to think of it, I've shown my dick plenty of times, but I don't really remember seeing another friend's dick.
It's the same with Seong Ji-min. I only ever showed mine, never saw theirs.
"You think I'm such an idiot that I mistook you, a girl, for a boy?"
"Yeah. You're exactly that much of an idiot."
Then Seong Ji-min burst out laughing until they were out of breath.
No way!
Seong Ji-min was definitely a guy.
Even if his face was a bit pretty, he had no breasts or hips.
He was good at running and good at games and dressed like a guy. His height was almost the same as mine.
"...Huh??"
But when I actually think about those pieces of evidence, there's not a single piece of solid proof that he was a guy.
The boundaries between boys and girls are vague when you're young.
It's natural to have no breasts or hips as an elementary schooler.
There were plenty of women taller than men.
"You... Don't tell me you were really a girl?"
"Puhahahahaha!"
I asked, still half in doubt.
And Seong Ji-min burst into laughter.
So, I showed my junk in front of a girl? Crazy!
"Ha, damn, that's so funny. Juji King, how haven't you changed at all?"
"Ha..."
Seong Ji-min was even shedding tears while laughing, but I was speechless with the greatest shock of my life.
How could the guy I believed to be my childhood friend be a girl?
Isn't this the kind of story that only comes out in romantic comedy manga?
"Co, could this be... the ripples of a romantic comedy?"
"Pu! Pwahahahahaha-!"
Seong Ji-min laughed so hard at my muttering that she almost collapsed.
...Looks like my life genre isn't a romantic comedy after all.
Then is it just a comedy without the romance?
Tch. Whatever. It's better than being depressed.
"Hey, hey. Stop laughing already."
"Hic, because, you're, so funny. Huhu."
Seong Ji-min was now on the verge of crying from laughing so much.
Ha... Seriously.
Was I blind when I was young? How could I mistake this for a guy?
"Ha. My stomach hurts. Where's your house?"
"What? Why do you ask?"
"Why else? Because of you, I don't have a place to sleep. And you won't buy me a drink after meeting after so long?"
With that, Seong Ji-min casually slung her arm over my shoulder.
Her actions were clearly no different from those of a male friend.
However, the soft sensation of her breasts against my arm and the powdery scent wafting from her body firmly asserted that she was a woman.
Seong Ji-min.
Should I treat her as a friend, or as a woman?
The confusion in my head still hadn't cleared.
"Screw it, I don't know! Let's just go!"
"Pwahaha!"
After agonizing over it, I casually slung my arm around Seong Ji-min's shoulder, just like she would.
Even that made Seong Ji-min laugh again, as if it were hilarious.
[Juji: A slang for Penis]