The next day, Aureum strode out of her childhood home. As much as she felt she could have spent her entire second chance at life there, it was simple to leave. One foot after the other over the threshold. She paused at the gate to the city street.
Weird. It felt so refreshing being in the street.
In the original past, Aureum wouldn't have even given this privilege a thought. Now it was unexpected.
She hadn't even left her house since she returned. Not that she had had any need to, nor had there been any request to. It hadn't occurred to her. Which was also odd.
Whatever.
What is unexpected can become so normalized as to be unnoticed again.
She had a goal. Her path led to the shopping district, looking for a pawn shop. Unfortunately, a goal is not the same thing as a map.
She didn't know of any pawn shops. Even in the original past, she never needed to sell anything. Or rather, when she had a need she had no avenue to get to it.
So it came down to word of mouth. Which meant fuzzy directions and wrong turns. Even when she entered the stores, she was quickly turned away.
What is this?
The first one, the second one, the third one. It went on as the day did. It's not like the stores were right next to each other either. All had different spots and clientele. The sun began to set as her patience ran out.
"Discrimination! I know the scar is right on my forehead, but that doesn't mean you can keep turning me away like this!"
Her first thought was the scar. She could see everyone's moving to it and their expression changing when they saw it. Until she felt it like a touch.
The mark of something lacking.
The next shop denied her allegations.
"It's not like I'm not looking at it, but my shop doesn't discriminate based on such things! I'm not just not at liberty to buy that ring. Good day!"
Aureum was left outside with the door slamming behind her, stunned.
What did that dog give me this time?
Maybe the owner was lying to me.
Aureum entered the next shop alongside her exhaustion. The interior was a cluttered mess, much like the other pawnshops she'd visited that day, except more excessive.
Mess might be a strong word. Everything was priced and laid out in a way that gave the items a certain amount of visibility. But there was too much stuff jammed into the tiny shop for it to be called ordered.
"Came to sell? Came to buy?"
An older man behind the counter, with a smile like a reptile. Unlike most, whose expression stiffened at seeing the indent on her forehead, his grin only widened.
"Came to sell, but it seems nobody is buying today."
Aureum's words were about as tired as her shoulders were slumped. On closing the door, her back straightened out, but she still looked haggard.
The man whistled.
"Am I your last stop?"
"Depends on you."
"Eh, show me what it is my peers rejected."
Aureum stepped forward carefully around the rows of objects and dropped the ring onto the counter. The pawnbroker bent over it with a magnifying glass, looking without touching It was just a moment before he stood back up with a chuckle.
"Why, it's the engagement ring Caducus gave his late wife, Lady Carnelia, may she rest in peace," he said. "I know it, and so would anybody else in my line of work know it. The engraving was in the ads for the jeweler who crafted it for years. A big poster plastered on every wall! Must have cost a minor fortune. Well, that was decades ago."
Aureum blinked.
He gave me his dead mother's engagement ring.
Fury locked her jaw.
You gave me something so cherished, yet you still abandoned me instead of facing your father. Is nothing precious to you?
The answer was obvious. He'd shown it to her in all his actions.
"Is it impossible to sell?"
"It's more that it's impossible to buy. How many lives do most of us get?"
He shook his head.
"It would take multiple lives to get the money for it. And where would we sell it? The engagement ring of Lady Carnelia?"
Late mother or not, I should have just tossed it in the gutter instead of going to the effort to walk around all day.
Aureum's face twisted.
"Oh, don't worry. I have an offer, but it's up to you to accept."
"If the other brokers didn't have the money on hand, I doubt you do."
"I'm not like them."
The pawnbroker's hands rested on his chest for emphasis.
"And besides, what I'll be buying is a forgery. So the price will naturally be cut."
"Naturally. Taking the advantage to short charge me."
"I'm not allowed to buy the genuine article, and you really wouldn't want to be caught dead selling it."
And I bet you still need the money.
That part went without saying. Everyone who came to a pawnbroker's shop to sell needed money, and she'd already told him the other shops weren't buying.
Aureum needed money, certainly. Money without her parents' connections, so she could act freely without explanations. But her purpose in coming here wasn't to make the most money from the ring. It was to get the most out of throwing away her trash.
This was his mother's ring? Given by his father?
It would be so awful for him to lose it in a pawnbroker shop.
Oh? Caducus might come against her family?
She'd just claim she'd lost it or it was stolen. There might be eyewitnesses of her selling the ring?
Then Caducus would have to admit it. Admit that the potential daughter-in-law sold the ring to a pawnbroker, and then he'd have to raise the case against her family.
It might be fodder for gossip though?
It was far more likely that Caducus would pretend there never had been an engagement.
Likely.
Her face broke out into a crazed smile. The pawnbroker, in front of her, cocked his head a bit. But she raised her fingers to her brow and relaxed her expression.
Just this far.
This far was enough.
It would be dangerous to go farther, but this much should be fine.
She felt cold. Her attention snapped back to the broker.
"All right. But give me the full price for an unhistoried ring of this make and materials, and… let me pick something up from your shop to make a difference."
"Trying to rob me in my own shop now?"
"Rob? You seem to like the idea of this deal. But I think I really need two items now."
The man scoffed.
"And the next words out of your mouth will be you need three items, right? You'll get one item that I allow on top of the money for the ring, or you can leave, missy. Deal?"
"Sure."
Bluff was called, admitted, and then rejected. Aureum still got more than she was offered.
"You choose something too expensive and you'll get just the money."
Aureum turned around to hide a smile as the man shuffled to get the coins. This part was fun. If the hassle was worth it was another question.
She took another step away from the counter and began to peruse.
Apparently, most of the furniture the other items sat on were for sale too. But Aureum had no need for them.
Jewelry was a no. Not an immediate no, but she had vague plans of something useful for traveling. So it was a hesitant no. Maybe. Later.
Most of it was gaudy and ugly anyway. Antiquated. Not that most people would sell off what they would wear, and the better pieces would be the first to go.
Maybe some clothes?
Something a little more sturdy than the dresses she had would be nice if she needed to climb a mountain. Aureum learned quickly this wasn't a clothes shop.
There were a few items in a forgotten cranny, but she would be lucky if they were close to fitting. The same problem as the jewelry cropped up when it came to outdated fashion. Hardly anything was of use.
Wait.
"Is this a butterfly cloak? Or were they called winged cloaks? One of the earlier designs too."
Aureum pulled the old thing out of the pile, pressing it against her body. It would fit, loosely. Very loosely. The burgundy coloring and soft touch to her fingers pleased her. The large embroidered swirls on the sleeves were a bright blue. They suggested water more with abstraction than detail. Altogether a fossil in aesthetics.
It tickled her fancy.
"Does it still work?"
"Sure, it works like a dream," the pawnbroker said.
Aureum laughed.
"As long as it doesn't rain, get too cloudy, or you have to travel at night, right?"
"Your knowledge leaves me at a disadvantage."
"Well, it has to do with flying, and I love flying." Shifting the cloak in her hands, she admired it more closely. "It's a shame these only work in the sun. Then they'd never have gone out of trend."
"Not exactly. Like most things, when the cost of an item becomes more than it is sold for, production ceases. You're right that it's such a shame these luxurious cloaks didn't catch on."
"But if it was really that expensive, you wouldn't be trying to sell it to me."
"…It has gone out of fashion! Trends can't conceive of the uses flight has! What sorcerer of the wind could compare with flying just by the garment on your back!"
Do you think your tongue is silver, and not fool's gold? Better than a wind sorcerer? Cut the crap.
"Can I get this and a piece of jewelry?"
"Get out."
"Hey, it doesn't hurt to ask."
"You can lose this entire deal if you keep asking."
She very highly doubted that. He seemed to like that ring as soon as he had it. He probably thought he was pulling the wool over her eyes, and she didn't know what a fortune he was taking from her.
Selling it for cheaper than it was worth was part of the charm for her.
Of course, she chose the cloak. Nothing else in the shop was of use or interest.
The bronze quinques were shoved towards her. That was a lot of money. Aureum hesitated, almost asking for the many quinques to be broken down into the steel laevus', but decided that was a problem for another day. At least the larger coins made counting it easy.
The pawnbroker tried to price the ring for fake gems instead of real ones at the last minute, but Aureum caught it.
As a merchant's daughter, as a former lady of house Nix, she should be able to do this much. Not that she had held great success in either of those roles.
When she left, her face was all smiles.
From there, she could have returned home. She should have returned home. It was late. The sun had sunk out of view with the buildings a dark cutout against an orange dusk.
Her feet certainly thought so. She found herself in front of home almost without thinking about it.
The journey of the day must have brought her in a loop. She was surprisingly close to home.
Aureum's head cocked a little as she stopped.
There was the sky and the roof of her home beneath it. The familiar view of the two-story manor, quite humble for its street, was a comforting sight. Even as the shadows dramatized its profile.
It was a beautiful sight. The only sight she had desired for years.
Not that any of that meant she could bring herself to go near it.
The house.
The woman standing in the street, with a twisted expression.
The house.
Aureum turned away.
"You know, this excursion has been so nice, why end it here?"
She spoke as if anyone else on the street cared what she did or required excuses.
———————————————————
The inn, the Royal Trinity, was a nice hotel.
The beds were soft, the food was warm, and luckily, her neighbors were silent.
Still, none of that stopped her as she stared at the ceiling instead of falling asleep.
She sweated like a criminal on trial.
Her body did not seem to know what her mind did. No one was coming to take her back.
———————————————————
Even as the sun rose she couldn't fall into a deep sleep.
She took lunch in the evening, with the bags under her eyes her sole acquaintance.
An arm touched her shoulder. It was startling, but it wasn't anything to jump over. That would use energy.
"Aureum?"
"Felixia? How?"
"I asked around! You caused a lot of worry back home!"
Felixia whacked the back of Aureum's head. It was a bit past playful.
"I was just enjoying… uh."
To say the hotel would cause undue concern.
The sights? She lived here.
Uh.
"My freedom! Just enjoying a spot of freedom!"
Smack!
Her little sister, who was taller, had smacked her head again.
"You've been acting crazy these past few weeks, and now you give nonsense excuses! You've been gone since yesterday morning! We thought you had gotten kidnapped!"
"…I'm an adult, though—please don't smack me again!"
Felixia, whose favorite hobby was dancing, with her mana focused on strengthening her body, even playful blows hurt.
Aureum had hoped that time could heal all ugliness, but time wasn't working fast enough. It was time to try doing something herself.
"Look, Felixia," she said, grabbing her sister's elbow, "I know I've been causing a lot of concern since, since my pearl broke and my engagement ended."
"It isn't exactly clear if the engagement is over until the lordling replies to us though?"
"It's over!"
"It's not over just because you want it to be?"
"But it is? What other outcome could you imagine it to be?"
"…"
"Anyways, Felixia, I want you to know that I'm not trying to cause trouble at home. I'm just trying to… sort out what to make of my new life. I'm sorry you're dealing with the growing pains."
"All right. I can understand that. Logically."
Though not emotionally, huh.
Felixia pulled a chair across from Aureum. The olive branch had been accepted, however half-heartedly.
Aureum smiled with glee, all morose behavior gone.
"With that said, I'm thinking of taking some time away from home."
"What nonsense."
"I need to go on a journey to find myself."
"Tch."
"A sabbatical from all the troubles in my life."
Aureum's smile got wider as Felixia's frown became more severe.
"You're going to try and go to Hale Mountain to form a wind pearl again."
"That's…"
An excellent idea. Hale Mountain? It's certainly close enough. Tall too, though not the tallest…
"See?! I can see it on your face! And right after all that nonsense about being apologizing."
"I may have dressed it up for my own amusement, but I do need to figure things out." Her smile faded as she sighed. "I thought it would be pretty easy to ignore everything, but it feels these days like. Like a dress that's too tight."
"Are you saying that about our home? Your home?"
Aureum thought her vague implications would pass Felixia by. Too bad.
"Oops, that was way too honest. My bad, my bad.
What I'm trying to say is I'm seeing what might happen if I stay, so I'm thinking leaving would be better. For me, but maybe also for you."
If I keep kicking a hornet's nest, it may as well be one far from home.
Aureum took a sip from her drink.
"So you just go because you want to go?!"
"Isn't it that easy?"
In reality, it wasn't that easy. Her past life hadn't been easy, and this one was already showing her its rough sides.
Must just be life. My life at least.
Felixia glared. It was fascinating to watch her little sister calm herself down. The whole process of it showed on her face. The flaring nostrils and twitching eyelid. At the end of it, Felixia just huffed.
"Maybe I understand, some, of what you're doing. A little bit. But in the middle of all of it, do you think I can let you go alone? I don't even know if you're in your right mind—
It's a bit too late to swallow that last bit, Felixia.
"Besides, we have to tell Mom and Dad we're going too."
Felixia easily sidestepped questions of why she shouldn't come along by mentioning a bigger problem. She implied her addition implicitly instead.
A true merchant's daughter, if she could control her expressions.
Aureum noted it without comment.
I guess it didn't occur to her that I meant leaving longer than Hale Mountain. Or maybe she's just choosing to misinterpret my meaning.
Well, I should wait and think it through more. I might think differently tomorrow.
Aureum played at having fallen for it.
"Don't tell them! They'll never let us go."
"If they wouldn't let us go, maybe we shouldn't go."
"Felixia, you should learn how to live outside of your little square life before you become a real adult. You'll regret being so restrained when you have more responsibilities."
"Nonsense. People only say such crap as an excuse to act out as kids. But being an adult isn't about how old you are, but how you act. How can children who keep acting out become true adults?"
Felixia.
Loosen up. Your dream is to become a dancer. An entertainer. Smile a bit more.
And don't use some philosophic-sounding words as a roundabout excuse to lecture me!