Chin wasn't a hero, a warrior, or a genius… He was just another lone-handed samurai.
A grandmaster of the Unwashed Clan, undefeated champion of the "48-Hour Hentai Marathon" and proud resident of his bedroom since Covid.
But everything changed on that fateful day — when a deadly combo of cheap energy drinks, expired instant noodles and 37 open tabs of waifus finally fried his heart.
And so, his grand isekai adventure began...
"W-What is this... Where am I? Did I die? Who are you?" - muttered our dear protagonist while dizzy, naked, and disturbingly sticky, standing in a glowing spiritual realm.
He had reached the afterlife.
"Ochinchin, welcome... This is what you humans call paradise" - said a voluptuous woman with comically large breasts and flowy robes, her voice echoing with divine sass.
"My name is Chin. Not Ochinchin" - he replied quickly, flustered, the moment she finished her sentence.
"Ahem, Ochinchin, please, I beg you: I know it's a lot to take in right now, but I need you to save another dimension from the dreadful Demon Queen"- pleaded Irys, the Goddess of Reincarnation, giving him a look so desperate it could guilt-trip a brick.
"Wai—"- Before he could even finish his sentence, a blinding light engulfed him and—poof—he was gone.
"Ugh, finally. What a strange name. The smell in here was criminal. The guy yanked it so much his soul came in... crusted. Disgusting" - muttered Irys, fanning herself with a scroll and visibly gagging.
"Alright, next loser in line…"
While Chin's (barely) cleansed soul was being forcibly launched into the mortal world, our attention shifts to the other protagonist of this story: Takashi.
Unlike Chin, Takashi was the golden boy — he helped little old ladies cross the street, donated to the local homeless shelter, and scored straight A's in college.
The only thing he and Chin had in common? They were both raging perverts.
Full-blown virgins with enough repressed energy to power a small nation. Only God knew what kind of sins were committed behind those closed bedroom doors...
Still, since being reincarnated, Takashi had a goal: He would finally get some action.
In a field full of colorful flowers, slimes were being obliterated at blinding speed.
Two sorceresses — Ember and Ruby — both with fiery red hair, enchanting brown eyes, and bodies shaped like hourglasses forged by horny gods, were launching nonstop fireballs like it was a MOBA on crack.
Takashi emerged from the smoke, slicing down the last few slimes with flawless execution.
He turned toward the girls in a classic anime side-angle pose, dripping with testosterone.
"Heh, we really make a great team, girls" - he said, oozing ulterior motives like a dollar store Elon Musk at the White House.
"Yes… we're glad we met you... but we still don't know you that well" - the twins responded, their voices just a bit hotter than normal. Was that allowed?
"Let's turn in the quest, collect the reward, level up. Then... we enjoy the rest of the day." - Oh, the sly dog! He's only this bold now because reincarnation gave him a buffed-up appearance.
Dude's basically a textbook isekai protagonist now. And he's already got a harem!?
"Mhm..." - the girls purred in perfect unison.
The trio made their way to Startier Village, the quaint little hub they had started in.
As they entered the guild hall, eyes from every corner locked onto them.
Whispered voices trickled in like rumors in high school.
"Bro, look at him. Dude's walking around with two babes. What a legend."
"Isn't he that chosen hero? Heard the Goddess picked him herself."
"Ugh, not another one. That damn Goddess keeps summoning dudes and they either die, go rogue, or abuse their cheat powers for some... unholy shenanigans."
Trying his best to ignore the gossip, Takashi and his firebombing waifus approached the counter.
"We did it!" - Takashi beamed.
With a swipe of his hand, he opened his System Window — a universal magic interface powered by ether and designed to aid humanity's evolution.
It displayed the kill count and quest requirements, confirming everything was in order.
"Looks like everything's here. Good job"- the receptionist said, handing over a hefty sack of silver coins — more than most villagers earned in a whole month.
To top it off, the entire party leveled up. A stats window popped up in front of each of them.
The girls dumped all their points into Intelligence.But not our hero. Oh no...
Takashi, since he started, had been dumping every single point into Vigor.
Perv. Like we don't know exactly what he's up to.
"Well then... how about we rest for a bit? It's been a long day"- he whispered, seductively leaning toward the girls.
"Absolutely..." - they answered, completely enthralled.
So, they headed to a nearby inn and rented a room.
The moment had arrived.
"We'll go take a bath..."- the girls said, slowly slipping off their robes from the top down.
"No need. I like it... this way,"- Takashi responded, visibly trembling — not from fear, but sheer horny determination.
They closed in, one on each side, kissing him softly while their hands trailed downward reaching for his pants.
They undid his belt.
As their delicate fingers tugged down the last barrier — his underwear — time seemed to slow.
And then... they saw it.
Takashi's holy sword. The forbidden flesh wand. His divine +69 Cursed Artifact.
But something was... off.
It twitched. Then twitched again. And then—
"What the hell? Where the fuck am I?!" - Chin shouted.
The two girls collapsed on the spot. Seeing a talking mouth with tiny eyes on someone's magic meat staff was definitely not on today's to-do list.
"What… is this…" Takashi muttered. "Why is my dick talking?"
He paused, trying to wrap his head around it. His cock, meanwhile, was also lost in thoughts of its own.
The angle… the musty scent of manhood… the weirdly warm sensation…
Of course. There was no other explanation.
This wasn't just a cursed weapon. This wasn't some weird spell. This was himself.
He had reincarnated… as the "Sword" of the Hero of this story.