After the queen fainted, we took her to the castle. I don't know why the generals didn't just order the attack to begin, but I won't complain if luck decided to be on our side.
That was a truly strange scene. The queen, unconscious on my bed, surrounded by all her generals and some of the most influential people in our kingdom—including my parents.
Sitting at the head of the bed was the queen's closest attendant—I'd learned her name was Sabrina. I sat in a chair beside them.
Fear was evident on the faces of the kingdom's representatives. In that room was enough power to destroy the entire realm in a single day, if they so wished.
Meanwhile, the generals looked bored. Apparently, they were used to the queen's mood swings and idiosyncrasies.
"Oh, Sabrina, I had such a lovely dream. The most beautiful man I've ever seen asked for my hand in marriage!" The queen woke up and spoke to Sabrina, seemingly oblivious to her surroundings.
"If you're referring to Prince Arthur, it wasn't a dream, my queen," Sabrina replied.
Only then did the queen realize where she was. First, she saw me. Then her generals and the kingdom's nobles. Then she noticed she was in my room. Lying on my bed.
She turned red again, looking like she might faint once more, but then the door burst open with a violent bang.
"Oh, Arthur, my love, tell me it's not true—the rumor spreading through the court! Tell me you didn't betray me and propose to some random woman!" Yes, my fiancée had stormed in, making a scene.
I couldn't tell her it was just an arranged marriage, a noble sacrifice to save the kingdom—not a betrayal. First, because it wasn't true. Second, because I couldn't say that in front of the queen. So, I decided to keep up the act.
"Ever since I laid eyes on the beautiful Queen Lilith, my heart has closed itself to other women. I'm sorry, Antonieta. But yes, the truth is that I was swept away by passion, and if my sweet Lilith accepts my proposal, I will be hers for all eternity." Very over-the-top, right? Would it work?
"No, I won't allow it! Not after everything I went through to become your fiancée! Just imagining all the dresses, all the jewels my father could've bought with the gold coins he spent bribing the court to influence you into marrying me... My sacrifice won't be in vain!"
Wait, did she just admit to bribery?
"I challenge you to a duel!" Antonieta declared, addressing the queen. "The winner will marry Arthur!"
Is this woman insane? Does she have any idea who she's dealing with? I need to end this now, or the queen will have all our heads.
"My queen, you don't have to listen to this nonsense," I began, but the queen cut me off.
"No, my prince, I'm loving this roleplay! It's perfect for spicing up our relationship!" What have I gotten myself into? This queen isn't right in the head.
"You'll play the sweet damsel being fought over by two suitors," she continued with her madness. "She'll be the evil villain who bought the damsel from her father, and I'll be the charming prince who fights the villain to save the damsel from an unhappy marriage."
"My queen, there's a slight gender issue in this story, isn't there?" I should've kept my mouth shut because what happened next... I don't even want to remember.
The queen snapped her fingers, and suddenly, she became a slender man with sharp features and long silver hair. Antonieta turned into a large, burly man with a stern expression. Me? I became a petite, delicate maiden with curly black hair.
"My queen, we live in a modern society. Thinking about it, there's no problem with the damsel in distress being a man."
She gave me a mischievous look and said,
"Was the transformation too much for you? Not ready for this kind of experience yet?" Then she snapped her fingers, and we returned to normal. "A shame, but we'll try again someday."
Well, my friends, if this marriage really happens, I'll have to overcome a lot of my own prejudices.
Everyone around us stared at the scene in bewilderment. Even the generals seemed caught off guard. Only Sabrina kept a straight face. And it was she who broke the silence.
"The real problem is how the duel will work. If you fight that scrawny girl, it won't be fun. She wouldn't stand a chance." Sabrina said, and the queen seemed to agree. Seriously, that was the issue?
"How about a chess match?" one of the generals suggested.
"Too boring," the queen replied.
"A poker game, then," another general offered.
"Are you suggesting I win a husband through poker? Come on, there's a limit!" Yes, this came from the same person who, moments ago, used magic to swap genders for fun.
"What about a hot tub duel?" a timid voice piped up from the back. It was my personal attendant. Yes, this is the kind of person who works for me.
"Interesting. How does a hot tub duel work?" the queen asked.
"We used to do it all the time." All eyes turned to me. Explain this properly, you idiot! "Not me with the prince, but the girls at the... adult entertainment house."
The queen looked more and more intrigued.
"It works like this: two girls get into a hot tub wearing... very comfortable clothes. We throw in a bunch of soap bars. Whoever grabs the most soap wins." And yes, I can guarantee the scene is exactly the wet dream you're all imagining.
"Perfect!" the queen exclaimed the moment he finished explaining.
"You're dying to see me in a bikini, covered in foam, rubbing against another woman to grab soap bars, aren't you, my prince?"
Oh yes, Demon Queen. You can bet I am.
Before we go, remember, my parents were in the room watching all of this happen.