"So," I began, stirring my drink like some budget philosopher. "Can I ask you something weird?"
She looked up from her cup, cheeks already tinted that soft pink. That blush again. Was it a natural feature? Or did she have a built-in heating system that activated around me?
"Of course," she said with a smile, her voice gentle like spring rain.
Danger. That smile was dangerous. That was the kind of smile you see right before a character dies in an anime. I steeled myself.
"Why... me?"
She tilted her head, confused. Cute. Absolutely lethal. That head-tilt alone could end civilizations.
"I mean… you've never really spoken to me much before today," I said gently, trying not to sound like a whiny side character. "So… why now?"
Her lips parted, then closed. Brows furrowed like she was trying to remember whether she left the stove on or not.
Oh god. She's thinking. She's really thinking.
"I don't know," she said finally, fidgeting with her sleeve. "I just… started seeing you differently. Like my heart noticed you before my brain caught up."
I blinked. Once. Twice.
"…Huh."
Great reply, me. Top tier. Truly the peak of eloquence.
She smiled a little, eyes soft as she looked down at her cup.
"I know it sounds silly. But, when I saw you daydreaming by the window, or laughing at your phone during lunch… I felt this warm tug in my chest. I couldn't explain it."
A warm tug?
Was that love? Or was she having heartburn?
No no no, me! Don't get your hopes up! Calm down. Don't start planning imaginary wedding invitations just yet.
Who the heck falls in love with a guy who spends half his day staring out windows like a tragic anime protagonist and the other half pretending his phone is more interesting than human contact?
…Shit. That stings.
The pain in my heart cleared every possible assumption of Rin really falling for me.
So, obviously…
…I see," I said, sipping my drink like a wise monk hiding his emotions. My hands were shaking slightly, but I pretended it was just the cold. (It was room temperature.)
Rin peeked up at me through her bangs, eyes shining like—okay, no, don't fall for that sparkle trap again.
"So… is that okay?" she asked softly. "That I started liking you like this?"
I stared at her.
Okay? Okay?!
Of course it's not okay, you beautiful disaster! You just short-circuited my brain and made my heart attempt a triple backflip. What part of this situation looks "okay" to you!?
"You ever fall in love before?" I asked, trying to sound casual. Like, super chill.
She flinched. Literally flinched. Like I just smacked her with a bouquet of feelings.
"U-Um…" Her voice cracked like a nervous high schooler caught reading BL manga in class. "N-No. Never…"
"I read about it… I think about it sometimes. But, uh… I've never actually… you know…"
Her words faded off into a whisper. If she got any quieter, I'd need subtitles just to keep up.
"So…" I leaned in a bit, just to see if she'd combust. "How do you know this is love, then?"
She froze.
Oh no. She's buffering.
Her eyes darted everywhere—walls, ceiling, the tragic remains of her tea, my nose (I think?)—basically anywhere except directly at me.
Then, just when I thought she'd faint from sheer embarrassment, she looked up. Barely. Like a kitten peeking out from behind a curtain.
"B-Because…" she whispered, voice trembling, "when I'm near you… I forget how scared I am."
…
Oh.
Oh no.
"I… I get these butterflies in my stomach… and my chest… it feels tight." She gently placed a hand over her chest, her cheeks going full sakura pink.
My eyes, without permission from my higher brain functions, glanced downward.
Ahem.
That was definitely not a part of the textbook on handling romantic confessions.
I stared at her.
She was too sincere. Too delicate. Like one of those paper lanterns that glow in the dark but will fold under the slightest breeze.
And yet—yet—
That's totally something a puppet would say. Like, word-for-word from the "Emotionally Manipulative Heroine Dialogue 101" manual.
That damn god and his "blessing." I bet he's rolling on the divine floor laughing right now. Probably sipping tea and watching this like a romcom episode.
Still… her eyes were trembling. She looked like she hated how much she was saying this out loud, but couldn't stop herself.
Crap. She really thinks this is love, huh?
Now the real question was:
How do I gently break it to her that she's probably being emotionally catfished by the universe?
And more importantly—
How do I do it without her crying, slapping me, or running away in full anime girl mode?
Because, let's be honest—I am absolutely not emotionally equipped for any of those outcomes.