---
I ended up telling her the real reason I dreaded going to school. My tears streamed down my face, despite promising myself I wouldn't cry.
My hands trembled, and it felt like there was a lump in my throat, making it hard to breathe. But somehow, I managed to speak.
"T-There's this boy… L-Levi," I stammered, pausing to catch my breath. "I-I don't know what his problem is with me." The more I spoke, the more the room seemed to close in around me, almost suffocating.
I looked up at Mum, my vision blurred by tears, and continued. "It started a couple of days after school reopened from the lockdown," I choked out, struggling to keep my composure. "H-He just started making jokes about me, saying I-I smelled or something." I took a deep breath before going on. "A-And he'd randomly start laughing at me with his f-friends."
I never intended to tell my mum about the bullying. But I was in grade 6, I was young, and the person I thought was my friend had left me out to dry. I needed to talk to someone who genuinely cared.
The reason I hesitated to talk to my mum was because I knew she wouldn't just sit back and let her daughter be bullied. I wouldn't either. But getting parents involved often makes things worse, and I didn't want to risk that.
I sat on my mother's bed, the bright sunlight pouring through the open curtains and filling the room. Mum always preferred light to chase away the shadows. But in that moment, all I wanted was to crawl into the darkest corner and disappear, to forget that I even existed.
I hated that I allowed someone like Levi to bully me. I hated that, in the end, I still ended up as the target. But what I dreaded the most was that, deep down, I still liked him.
---
After I told my mother about the bullying, her reaction was almost exactly what I expected.
"You're going to give me your teacher's number. I'll be talking to him about this," she said sternly, standing up from the bed to grab her phone from the wardrobe. But before she could do anything else, I quickly stopped her.
"Please, Mum. Please don't."
Not just Levi—almost everyone in my class made me feel like an outcast. All I could think about was what they'd say if I told the teacher. Would they call me a snitch? A loser? Or just pathetic?
"What do you want me to do, Laura?" Mum's voice softened, though I could still hear the frustration beneath. "As your mother, I have to do something. Whatever this Levi boy is doing, it's bad enough that you don't even want to go to school."
I took a deep breath before standing up and gently placed my hand over hers. "Mum, please... for now, don't do anything. Let me try to handle this on my own." My voice was softer now, but firm. "I just needed to talk to someone. But I promise, if it gets worse, I'll tell the teacher."
After that, I managed to convince Mum not to speak to Mr. Grinne about the bullying. For a moment, I felt a wave of relief. Talking to my mother had given me a boost of confidence.
Things at school started to improve. Mr. Grinne finally decided it was time for us to switch seats, and I ended up next to a group of people with whom I gradually became friends. Levi, for some reason, stopped paying attention to me, and I wasn't complaining.
His new seat was right across the room, surrounded by the prettiest girls in class. I almost cringed watching how they fawned over him. He seemed to revel in their attention—I guess he hit the jackpot.
Life was starting to feel almost good. But as everyone knows, all good things eventually come to an end. Looking back, I can't shake the feeling that somehow, I brought misfortune upon myself.
---
I sat in the second row from the front, right behind a boy named Tristan. He was one of the easiest people to talk to—funny, laid-back, and undeniably cute. There was something about him that made me feel comfortable, like I didn't have to pretend.
Tristan, along with Charles and Ania, were the people I talked to most since we switched seats. Charles had just transferred to our school, and somehow, he was already popular. I'd often catch him and Ania flirting, but honestly, it didn't bother me. They were both kind and easygoing.
But one day, during a math lesson, things took a turn. Mr. Grinne was droning on about equations, and the class was unusually quiet—probably because everyone knew how strict he could be.
I wasn't in the mood to listen. My head was filled with too many thoughts, and it left me with a pounding headache. And to top it off, Charles and Ania's constant bickering made it worse. Every time Mr. Grinne turned to write on the board, they'd giggle or whisper about something.
It was so distracting that, after a few minutes, Mr. Grinne spun around from the board, eyes blazing. "Who's talking while I'm teaching?!"
As expected, no one said a word. The room was so silent you could hear a pin drop. But the truth was, almost everyone knew it was Charles and Ania, and yet no one spoke up. Maybe I was the only one who actually had a problem with their constant whispering.
I glanced over at Ania, who sat about a meter away from me—our desks spaced out because of COVID-19. I could see the nervousness etched on her face, the fear of getting caught clear in her expression. I almost felt sorry for her. I guess she really did like the guy. Maybe that's why I decided to stay quiet, just like everyone else—or maybe it was because I was scared of what people would say if I snitched. I had already been a target before, an outcast. I had come so far, and things were finally getting better. I couldn't risk ruining that now. Besides, Ania and Charles had been so nice to me—how could I tell on them?
Mr. Grinne, still visibly frustrated, decided to let it go and turned back to the board to continue writing equations. This time, I made up my mind to pay attention. But just a couple of minutes later, I heard snickering from my right.
Apparently, I wasn't the only one who heard it. Mr. Grinne spun around again, this time even more pissed. It was as if he had baited them out, hoping to catch the culprits in the act. And judging by the look on his face, I guess he had a good idea of where the noise was coming from, because his eyes were locked in our direction.
But my heart sank the moment his eyes locked onto mine. A wave of panic surged through me, my pulse quickening.
I knew Mr. Grinne well. He always expected the best from me—and of course, the truth. He was a kind and funny man when not provoked, but lately, some of my classmates seemed to go out of their way to make his job harder, especially Levi - their leader.
I never understood why they disrespected him. I stuck to what I was taught: treat people the way you want to be treated. Maybe that's why he treated me differently from the others.
Now, I didn't know what to do—should I lie and say I didn't know, or should I tell him it was Charles and Ania?
I knew he hadn't said anything yet, but his stare said more than words ever could.
I could feel the tension in the classroom rise as more people turned their attention to us, making my nerves spike. Suddenly, the chair beneath me felt unbearably uncomfortable. I shifted awkwardly, trying to find a better position, but it only made me more anxious—and probably made me look even weirder.
Now, even more eyes were on me, including Levi's from across the room. His expression was unreadable, and that scared me. I couldn't tell what he was thinking. The entire room seemed to hold its breath, waiting for one of us to make the first move.
I glanced back at Mr. Grinne, but my eyes darted away a couple of times. His stern expression hadn't changed. Then, with a firm tone, he asked, "Laura, who was talking?"
A heavy silence enveloped the class, everyone waiting for my response.
I stole a couple of glances at Charles and Ania, silently begging for some kind of signal, but they didn't even dare look at me. I felt my frustration build—this was their fault. If they had just kept quiet, I wouldn't be in this situation, and my headache would have been gone by now.
I couldn't think straight. I looked around for some kind of lifeline, but no one offered any help. It felt like everyone was just waiting for me to fail, for me to make the wrong move.
I didn't want to lie to Mr. Grinne, but I also couldn't go back to being the outcast. Then it hit me—maybe snitching about something as small as talking wasn't such a big deal. Why was I stressing so much over this? People would forget about it soon enough.
So, I took a deep breath and pointed toward Charles and Ania. "It was them, sir. Charles and Ania."
Mr. Grinne glared furiously at the two of them. "Can you both kneel down, now!" he snapped, and they obeyed almost instantly. I had never seen him this angry before—he must've been in an especially bad mood.
"How could you talk while I'm teaching? Who do you two think you are? This is unaccep—" He was cut off by a sharp knock on the door.
Almost the entire class turned to the door, curious about the sudden interruption. The door stood wide open, revealing a light-skinned, beautiful young woman who, to my horror, turned out to be Ania's mother.
When I recognized her, my stomach dropped. She stood there, taking in the sight of her daughter kneeling on the floor—punished, and all because of me.
What...had...I....done....