The morning of the new day started as usual: morning routine, breakfast, and a few hours of choice profanity. All because of the forum—or rather, the registration process. I'd been struggling for three hours already, with no progress. I was stuck on the very first step: coming up with a username. Seems simple—just slap something random together and go, right? But there's a big "BUT." This username will essentially become my true name, how I'll be known to other players and higher entities, so I have to take it seriously. If a nickname given by the villagers gave me an affinity with demons, I'm terrified to think what a username might do or grant me.
That's why I've been wrestling with this for hours, trying to find something suitable. The first problem was that proper names aren't allowed, so my old go-to from my past life, Sephiroth_007, was out immediately.
After the first hour, I was cursing. After the second, I started banging my head against the wall while cursing—didn't help. By the end of the third hour, I was howling, and even Player's Mind couldn't save me. Everything I liked or thought sounded cool was already taken.
— Just register something already! — To my great regret, the system heard my cry of despair.
Request received.
Processing request…
And there you go—I'm now registered on the forum with access to the auction and shop, just like other users. Yep, alongside folks like World Devourer, Great Overlord, and me—Unknown Entity. Describing the feelings I had toward the system after this auto-registration was tough, but I did my best to express them in words—exclusively profane ones.
After a couple of hours spent in that oh-so-familiar and dear place, indulging in philosophical musings while browsing the forum, auction, and shop, I concluded that things weren't so bad. I'm not the only one with a quirky username that makes you want to laugh at first glance—I'd laugh too, if I didn't feel like crying. To avoid being mocked, I just need to put something rare and awesome up on the auction, or do something truly epic and then post about it on the forum. The system ensures the info's legit, so everything there is the honest truth.
Until I pull off that epic feat, I'll keep a low profile on the forum. There's no point otherwise—who'd take an Unknown Entity seriously? But if I put something up for sale, then no questions asked.
For example, I stumbled across this one guy while exploring the auction. That auction has everything—literally. From god-tier items to the underwear of famous figures. I found this character with the username Great Pervert while messing around with the search filters. I forgot to deselect the "divine" category and typed "underwear" into the search bar—purely out of curiosity, of course. I'm not planning to buy any of that, nope, definitely not. The search returned divine-tier underwear. I was stunned when I saw it, and when I read the description and stats, I was completely *#$@%-ed. The seller was none other than Great Pervert. No one was laughing or joking about his username—someone who snagged the thong of Hel, the goddess, and lived to tell the tale deserves respect.
Everyone was dying to know how exactly he got that piece of the goddess's gear, but the seller just told them all to go ask Hel herself. No idiots stepped up to question the source directly, but there were tons of theories. The price, by the way, was hefty. With two weeks left in the bidding, it had already hit 1.2 million SD.
Besides gawking at various undergarments, I read some beginner tips on the forum. Now that's a treasure trove of useful info, all short and to the point. For instance, on the local currency: SD (Soul Crystals) drop from sentient world inhabitants, while EC (Essence Crystals) drop from mobs in illusory barriers and non-sentient creatures. SD is the main currency, while EC is used for buying or selling small items and consumables.
Gear and weapons weren't the only things up for sale—you could also buy skills and abilities from other worlds. Say you live in the Potterverse but want a Zanpakuto—no problem, just save up SD and buy it. The catch is, the more alien the ability is to the buyer's world, the higher the additional tax. But there's no tax between worlds in the same fandom.
When I checked out the offerings from the Naruto worlds, I nearly drowned in my own drool. Everything you could dream of was here: technique scrolls from E to S-rank, forbidden techniques, dojutsu, artifacts, mutagens for grafting enhanced genomes, samples of various enhanced genomes, erotic photo collages, and yes, more underwear.
I should check out the photo section—purely for scientific interest, just to stay informed. What can I say? The selection's huge. I can understand where they got photos of Tsunade, Mei Terumi, or Anko Mitarashi, but how the hell did they get pics of Kaguya? That's a million-dollar question. Even Kaguya's photos didn't shock me as much as the ones of Orochimaru. It's not surprising there are photos of guys—there are plenty of female players. What shocked me was the insane demand for them, on par with Itachi's pics. Though if you think about it, Orochimaru's quite the character. His tongue-extension technique alone is something else, and he can extend other body parts too. The guy's got a sea of other talents.
After that, I checked out the sections for technique scrolls and dojutsu. The selection was massive, especially for Sharingan—starting with one-tomoe eyes all the way up to Eternal Mangekyo. There were Byakugan, a single Rinnegan, and a bunch of others I didn't recognize. The prices were steep, so I'm out of luck for now. I've only got one SD, and I'm not likely to get more anytime soon.
First things first, I need to figure out what to do about the Moon. That debuff is going to permanently move me into the bathroom. I think there were Moon-destroying techniques in Dragon Ball—I'll need to check the prices. Two birds with one stone: I'll get rid of the debuff's cause and mess up Tobi's plan. I'm a genius! I need to write that down so I don't forget such a brilliant idea.
I also decided not to hoard attribute points and started distributing them. I dumped almost all of them into Body Structure. So what if it only affects visuals and not stats? Not being a shorty is pretty useful too, and Naruto was never tall. Sure, he grew later, but that's a long way off. So I put 10 points into height—by the time I graduate from the academy, I'll be half a head taller than Sasuke, not shorter like in canon. I also tweaked my muscles and abs. While I was adjusting, I remembered a joke a friend once told me:
Sakura asks, "Hinata, why do you like Naruto? Sasuke's the most handsome and smartest… Plus, everyone says he's the best!"
Hinata, blushing, replies, "How would you know, Sakura? You don't have a Byakugan…"
So I threw a couple more points in for future… potential. I doubt I'll get Orochimaru's techniques. I also learned what skill points are for, and I was immediately disappointed. Turns out, it's not so simple with bought abilities and skills—you need those points to activate them, and the cooler the skill or ability, the more points it takes. You get one per even-numbered level, and you can also earn them from quests. Which quests? It doesn't say. My remaining sense of dignity wouldn't let me ask, and my sense of self-importance died in agony a day ago.
I also learned about illusory barriers. They change depending on where they're set up. Deploy one in the middle of the village, and you might get a zombie apocalypse barrier or some other creatures instead of the locals. Time flows differently inside—however long I spend in there, only a second passes in the real world. The forum also mentioned that setting up a barrier in specific spots can transport you to another game location—a different world. You're limited to staying there from an hour to a day, and you get a task. Finding those spots is tough. The article's author said that in twelve years, they'd only found such spots three times. The worst part? The passages are one-use only. But even with that, the rewards are massive.
After more or less figuring things out, I set off to grind and unlock the most useful beginner skills, like observation and stealth.