"I'm sorry I didn't quite grasp your name" she had said as she led me into the rest room.
"Tessa" I said softly. "And yours?"
"Regina" she said with a bright smile. "Let me help you with that"
She moved to help me take off my clothes.
Regina's voice was soft, almost soothing. There was this calm reassurance in her carriage. In a way, her presence helped me cope with the madness in my mind.
"Tessa, I know this isn't easy," she said as she carefully help me slip into my dress, adjusting the dress on my shoulders. "But everything will be fine. My brother… he can be difficult, I won't deny that. But he has his sweet side too."
I forced a small smile, pretending I was okay when I felt like I was drowning. Because I was actually drowning. "Difficult?" I let out a light laugh. "That's one politeway to put it."
If only she knew the devil she has for a brother.
I loved her innocence. It meant, she was different from him.
Regina giggled, shaking her head. "Trust me, I know him better than anyone. And if I say he has a heart, then he does." She stepped back, her eyes scanning my reflection in the mirror.
I looked… different. Nothing like I would regularly look like and No, I hated this dress.
I hated this dress so much. I was not a fan of the unneccesary designs and details.
I wanted a simple wedding with Sergio, he knew it.
It looked expensive. It was and I felt trapped in an expensive cage worth that much.
The dress hugged my body in a way that made me feel suffocated rather than beautiful.
A few seconds had me wanting to scream my head off and cry.
"You look stunning," Regina murmured as she adjusted the delicate lace sleeve. "My brother has good taste."
Your brother is a wild beast, I wanted to scream but rather smiled.
There was so much chaos in my head.
I frowned slightly. "You picked this up today?" My fingers running along and around my dress.
"Yes, he asked me to get it last minute." She smoothed out the fabric. "This dress cost one point two million dollars."
I whipped my head around so fast my neck almost snapped. "What?"
She smiled. "You heard me."
My eyes flashed at her for a couple of swift seconds, trying to wrap my head around the absurdity of it all.
Such an expensive dress wasted on this shame of a wedding, I said in my mind.
"No offence, but who in their right mind spends that much on a dress they'll wear once?"
Regina tilted her head, as if she had been expecting that question. "Lorenzo women only wear indulgence fashion, Tessa. It's normal for our clothes to cost this much. I picked that dress from one of my favourite designers."
Lorenzo women. The title alone made my stomach churn. I wasn't one of them. I didn't want to be.
It felt as though my nostrils had become narrower as I struggled for more air than the tightness of my dress could afford.
I turned back to the mirror, trying not to think about what this dress represented.
I was being dressed like a queen, but I felt like a prisoner being prepared for execution in a slaughterhouse.
To distract myself, I shifted the conversation. "What about you, Regina? What's your story? Do you have someone?"
I watched a sudden wave of sadness wash over her face, but it was gone as quickly as it came. She smiled, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. "That's a story for another time."
Another time, would mean living in the same house with that monster, so I get to see her very often and having to share the same space with that foolish brother of hers.
I knew a woman is trying to contain pain, she was hiding, just like me. But she didn't want to talk about it, so I let it go.
Regina reached into her purse and pulled out a tube of lip gloss. "Hold still," she said, dabbing the glossy sheen over my lips.
I pressed them together, the light vanilla scent filling my senses.
Regina sloped her head to the side, examining me with a satisfied nod. "Perfect."
I sighed. "It's just a wedding, not a beauty pageant."
She smiled warmly. "For Lorenzo, it's both."
I scoffed internally. If he thought I was going to parade around like a trophy, he was going to be disappointed. Rubbish.
Regina tucked the gloss back into her purse, then gave me a knowing look. "Do me a favour?"
I arched a brow. "What?"
"Wear a smile when you see my brother."
I nearly laughed. "You're joking."
I could not remember the last time I laughed from my heart.
"I'm not," she said, her voice warm but firm. "He would love it."
I plastered on the most sarcastic smile I could manage. "Like this?"
Regina sighed. "Fine, don't listen to me." She picked up a delicate hairpin and fixed a loose strand of my hair. "But it wouldn't hurt."
Before I could respond, a knock sounded at the door.
Both of us turned.
"The wedding is waiting," a deep voice announced.
Regina squeezed my hand. "It's time."
Walking towards the door felt so hard as my tests lagged.
This wasn't a wedding.
It was a sentence.
***
My Aunt should have been the one walking me down the isle, not Regina.
I had always dreamt of her pathing my back as walk down to meet my husband.
And then the dramatic handover of the bride to the groom, a moment that was usually seasoned with tears and final moments of goodbye's.
All these I had dreamt and hoped to actualise until that horrible spawn of the devil came into my life.
I walked beside Regina, my hands clasped tightly to the wedding dress, wishing my eyes were weapons to gun down my tormentor.
The air inside the grand church was heavy with the scent of roses and burning candles. I tried to inhale as much as I can to steady myself.
Regina's arm remained linked with mine as we got closer, her fingers warm and reassuring. "You'll be fine, Tessa," she whispered.
I let out a breath, barely more than a sigh. I wondered if all these words were supposed to comfort me?
She glanced at me, her expression soft with sympathy. "It's just the truth. Pedro isn't a man who does things without reason. He chose you. That must count for something."
Count for something?
Oh Regina, please do not descend from the pedestal of high honour that I have placed you.
I wanted to laugh, probably because I would have preferred the reality of that joke instead of my excruciatingly painful reality.
but I kept a straight face instead.
Pedro didn't choose me out of love.
I was given to him as collateral.
The moment they saw us, a hush fell over the crowd. My heart battered badly as I stepped forward.
Regina gave my arm a small squeeze before releasing me. I took the final steps alone, stopping beside my soon-to-be captor.
The priest began to speak, his voice solem.
I barely listened, my mind drifting as he recited the vow words.
"Do you, Tessa, take Pedro to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
I hesitated for a minute.
"I do," I forced out, my voice barely above a whisper.
Of course Not! I yelled in my head.
No right thinking woman should have to stand next to a man twice her age saying marital vows against her will.
But all that didn't matter now, did it?
Pedro didn't move from where he stood, I only noticed his eyes were darting towards me every now and didn't react beyond a slight tightening of his jaw everytime I delayed a response.
"And do you, Pedro, take Tessa to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
"I do," he said, his voice steady.
This had all gone according to his plan and what he wanted, I am still surprised at the possibility of arranging this whole thing in such short time.
The priest continued, his voice was like a distant hum, making it difficult for me to hear him or maybe I wasn't paying attention because I wanted all this to be over. I barely heard the words, my mind was drowning in the reality of what was happening.
"You may now kiss the bride."
I froze. This man better not kiss me. He better not kiss me dear lord.
Please God, No! Save me oh lord!
The moment stretched endlessly.
Pedro turned to me swiftly, he had smiles all over his face and then, in a move so swift I barely had time to react, he leaned in and claimed my lips.
I almost puked as his lips brushed against mine—brief, firm.
I was sure we both deserve an Oscar winning performance for this ridiculous show of madness happening, nothing more. The audience erupted into applause, but I barely registered the sound from what.
It was done.
I was now married. It was nightmare I desperately needed to wake up from.