Meanwhile, Zhang Lu had written yet another installment of Hairy on his quest to turn 'Dark', ostensibly to spread the influence of Dark Rizzardry to the wider world!!!
[Selected Excerpts and Synopses from the acclaimed "Hairy Pee" series written by JK Imzhang…]
Hairy had now become cooler. After countless sacrifices and setbacks, he had finally 'triumphed'. Ronnie was dead. Hermyne, used and discarded as part of his ultimate revenge.
As for Krum… well Hairy admitted that he and Mykrumvilgo had shared… a moment, and there was something to be said about the fact that the Bulgarian star had pulled his hair whilst calling his name (Hairy, you dared to touch my... goblet?! you vil pay!!! the dark prince whispered) (and Hairy kicking his legs and replying "Ugh, h-how much do you want me to pay, daddy?" - this all happened in his mind fortunately not the reality)
and after cleaning and polishing each other's magical sticks (sparks had flown) - waxing and bonding over the mutual trauma of Ronnie's underhanded betrayal… well now Hairy and Krum were now good… mates.
Not that kind of mates, guys come on !
Indeed, their relationship was now the pinnacle of 'homie'sexual, a bromance that transcended time and endless filler content.
They could now basically talk about any topic, like Quidd*tckh and uh ok, fine so they didn't really talk much... or at all. But still!!! The connection! It was there! Hairy thought fervently to himself.
Harry stared at his phone. His contact list now consisted of 1, which was saved as ~Krum my bestest bro~
He clicked into the messages, which in fact consisted of messages and replies sent all by himself spanning years!!!!
Hairy: "Hey… that was pretty cool how we fought over that goblet huh? *chuckle emoji*
Krum: *no response*
Hairy: "haha, you're *hilarious* bro. Ikr, fr fr"
Krum: *didn't actually reply*
Hairy: "yeah man you totally get me lol. Homies4lfye!!!"
Krum's reply: *non-existent*!!!
In fact, if one looked closely, they would realize that the entire convo consisted of Hairy talking to himself!!!
___
The masked Grand Dark Rizzard Itvasme Diogenes stroked his chin as he read up to this point.
"Uh… Zhang Lu… I am not doubting your ability… but uh… are you sure this is actually helping the Dark Rizzards?!?!"
Zhang at the desk flashed a wan writer's grin, as he rubbed his chained wrists to improve the circulation.
This was the path he had chosen, and there would be no going back.
"Rest assured, O Devious Dio. It's like a chef that's just entered the kitchen. He has to prep the foods, and so it would take time to cook the perfect meal. Right now, I'm aiming to create something real, but you gotta let me cook ig."
"Oh. All right." Itvasme did say that he wanted the story to be real and relatable, and knew that the current story that Zhang Lu had written was in fact accurate, having been based on various biographies of Dark Rizzards... but still, sometimes one could have too much of a good thing.
He popped another Dark chocolate into his mouth and felt a bit… 'bitter' about it.
___
Hairy had given in to his anger, to his lust for revenge, his madness… and yet, it had in fact been Krum that had kept him from tipping over into a reverie(n)d of insanity… at least for now…
And yet… that day, was when he had finally felt… seen. An old man had appeared and given him a priceless treasure, opening the doors, the gateways, to multiple pathways of future evolution…
Rejected by the Hogwash School of Magic and Rizzardry, Hairy instead opted for an alternate pathway, deciding to invest all his energies and efforts into the Dark Type.
He trained night and day, until finally!!!
His Eewee which he had been given by the kind old man evolved into Umbrion!!!!
At last!!! He now had a dark companion and didn't feel so lonely. And if he could keep it up… he might even be able to start his own gym and become a gym leader!!!!
All this of course was just a pipe dream, as he had to first deal with the internal politics in Team Rocket…
___
Later that night, as he ate his instant noodles, Zhang Lu looked out his window towards the night sky.
"Father…" he whispers. "I hope you will understand…"
___
BONUS: Excerpt from Valentine's Viral Video continued - reminder that you are awesome and amazing and i appreciate you ✨✨✨
"✨~~~Helloooo lovelies and legends~~~ ✨" *Valentine, radiating rizz powered by Bob's 9800000000*5 Rizz Stat, dances onto the speakers stage, immediately melting innumerable hearts into gooey puddles of Anti-Rizz, and making Normal Normans immediately give up on life having witnessed this gold standard of Rizzified manliness.
The audience immediately buzzed with anticipation and delight, feeling like they had just sunk into a hot warm bath, and the atmosphere was tingling with anticipation.
"First of all, thank *you* ✨ That's right, thank *you*. Every single person, every one of you here today, be it in this full-to-capacity hall, or doing life and watching this wherever you may be... you are contributing to the world just by living, breathing, and existing.
Consider this.
For 4 billion years, every single one of your ancestors on both sides found a partner.
Every single one was healthy enough to reproduce.
Every single one was blessed to live long enough to do so.
Every single one of them overcame the many challenges of living, and succeeded in passing on their genetic material to the right partner at the right moment, to create the only possible sequence of hereditary combinations that have resulted, astoundingly - in *you*.
So as we begin… thank *You* for just existing ✨✨✨
*applause*
"That's right. We live in a world where your very existence - your thoughts, your choices - you... *matter*.
You matter. Everyone matters. Every thing matters. If we zoom out far enough… we see that the little things pale in light of the bigger picture.
We are One. One Collective. If we trace it back far enough, we are One Family. Yes, it's true, all families have their ups and downs... but in the end, nothing changes this fact…
That in the end… we are One…. ✨✨✨
___