'I want to write so much.'
The sound of mouse clicks and screen noises could be heard in the living room as Lucien opened yet another novel to read.
Working as an editor on a small online novel platform, his life couldn't be called bad.
To tell the truth, he was content. Working while doing one of the things he loved most was a feat that few could achieve. Despite this, Lucien felt that something was missing.
'I want to write'
From time to time, his concentration at work, and even the sheer pleasure of reading for fun, were ruined by an old desire, which, even after multiple attempts, he had still not managed to fulfill.
Writing.
For as long as he can remember, one of his favorite things to do was read. To be more precise, he was an aficionado of anime, manga and novels. Especially online novels or web novels.
He spent sleepless days reading his favorite stories, like many people he started with animations, over time he moved on to manga and finally web novels.
Online novels became his passion, and he quickly got it into his head that he wanted to work with it, but specifically: he wanted to write novels, just like those authors who provided him with daily entertainment, Lucien would like to write something he enjoys and share new worlds with other people through words.
For a while he was filled with excitement as ideas and concepts popped into his head like fireworks at a festival.
However...
When it came to writing, Lucien's mind went blank and all those ideas in his head seemed to disappear, each word and sentence taking excruciating effort to accomplish.
He wanted to do well, he wanted it to be very good, he didn't want it to be a failure or something boring.
This excess of expectation held him back. Every time. The best he could manage were a few chapters, but even those were disjointed and didn't seem to be on the same page. His desire and dream of writing remained at a standstill for years, and when the opportunity to work in the industry arose, even though it wasn't what he initially imagined, he grabbed it with everything he had.
It was a small, free online romance publisher/platform that supported itself through a membership system and occasional ads. Being a site mostly frequented by women, he thought it might be interesting to read novels that were different from the usual, while getting paid for it.
2 years passed and although it wasn't a bad job, in some ways even relaxing due to the low workload, he couldn't stop thinking about writing his own novel.
On an ordinary working day, Lucien finished reading another of the novels submitted to the short story competition.
It was a competition that served as an incentive for new authors to appear on the platform, while gaining the site's support with the promotion of the novel and the possibility of winning a generous cash prize for a small platform.
Readers tend to be much stickier about the novels they follow, so the publisher has no problem with this. In the last year the platform has grown considerably thanks to some popular authors moving over.
If when it started the proportion of readers was 10% male and 90% female, today it's 40% and 60% respectively. Popular writers have brought their fan base and the site has become more diverse, although the novels that top the site are mostly aimed at a female audience.
Every year, a few promising new authors would emerge from the short story and novel competitions, and often the winners would become popular with longer serializations later on.
With a sigh, Lucien stood up, greeted his coworkers and headed for the exit.
The drive home was as smooth as ever, he lived close to the company, so it was conveniently easy.
Arriving home after relaxing and finishing getting ready for bed, Lucien took out his cell phone and started reading novels on his favorite websites. After a good hour of reading, he again began to feel a sense of emptiness and boredom with what he was reading. Sliding his finger across the screen, he opened the tab of recently added novels.
This gradually became his routine, causing great despair for someone who loved novels so much. He stared at the new novels as he read one or the other for a long time. Feeling sleepiness finally flood his mind, he closed his heavy eyelids as one last thought hovered in the remnants of his consciousness.
'I want to write novels too...'