Stuck between lamenting the loss of my cupcakes, wondering what the hell that hand was, why the angel was even near me, and wondering why I was kicked out of orientation, and back to why my cupcakes were eaten, my mind spun around, but no conclusion could be reached.
My employee gift basket, mask, cloth, and ID were all gone; no matter how I tapped my wrist, nothing but the ID card and silver employee name tag came out.
For the first time in years, I felt my eyes begin to water once more.
Not from sadness but rage that increased my blood pressure to the max!
Please, please let a meteor hit the company headquarters and kill everyone involved while destroying my employment contract.
If there were a database, let a virus delete everything.
If it was backed up somewhere, let a secondary meteor smash that too!
Sigh.
Let's read the handbook in detail instead of making currently impossible wishes.
I tapped the book that was no longer glowing and flipped the page, noticing that the text had changed.
Life Preservation Team Employee Handbook
Owner: Cyril Alexander Taylor
Days of employment remaining: 365 days, 2:24:56
Please Note—Quitting before the employment terms are over or losing the Sanctuary Spark for the waystation will result in a process similar to this one. Death will not come until the remaining time of employment is released, at which point you will be granted release.
[Click to view - 10s]
[Click to view - 9s]
[Click to view - 8s]
[Click to view - 7s]
I promptly clicked it and was subjected to the view of a woman with short blue hair who walked to the front of a stage I briefly spotted when I had opened the double doors.
"I don't know where the hell this place is, but I sure as hell didn't sign up for this. Let me resign!" a woman's angry voice sounded out.
She defiantly stood in front of a tall man dressed in an entirely white suit and wearing a plain black mask.
Caramel-colored skin with straight jet-black hair that fell to his waist.
He would have looked like a girl if he weren't built like a linebacker.
"Are you sure?" It was a wickedly smooth voice, like expensive liquor over ice.
"Of course I am. This scam-like company has a scam-like name and terms. This is bullshit! I want to quit and go back home."
"As you wish." The man's voice sounded out, and then the woman began screaming.
It was the sequel to the Angel's demise, except this time, I viewed it in 8k HD with multiple angles and close-ups.
Somehow, I could even smell the rotting, sweet smell mixed with an acrid smell of acid, and a moldy, diseased scent mixed with blood swept over me.
Seeing maggots crawling all over the head being scooped up and licked by the man, my stomach couldn't help but heave in protest.
Staring at the sunken eyes covered by strands of blue hair that seemed to be begging me for release while inhuman shrieks rang out, I was reminded of the shrunken eyes of the angel that had turned into a putrid bag of flesh and the head of the military officer that was smashed.
"Does anybody else want to quit before their employment date is up? The floor is all yours." The smooth voice of the man sounded out, and as he turned his head, it almost seemed that he was staring at me, even though his face was completely covered and I wasn't present.
Seeing the fleshy boil that was now the blue-haired woman squirming, I promptly threw up, heaving up nothing but bile.
The vision disappeared, the sound stopped, and I pressed my head into the ground, trying to catch my breath.
Suddenly, I was glad I was experiencing this alone and not in a room full of strangers with an insane person who would do such a thing standing on stage and looking over me.
This was a sick, sick company that I could never trust.
Pulling myself together, I distanced myself from the vomit and continued to read the handbook.
I knew myself pretty well, so it was now time to know the enemy as thoroughly as I could.
[For Employees who die during the terms of employment while carrying out necessary tasks, a death befitting your circumstances will be granted.]
Somehow, I doubted that.
[H.E.L.P Apocalypse Co. has a mission to help those it finds worthy not only survive but also thrive during these trying times, and after the investment made in you, our dear employee, we want you to succeed and for both the company and employees to reach our goals.]
Bullshit.
I mentally flipped the company off before reading the book in detail.
I first noticed that some of the text had strangely changed from when I first flipped through it.
The general concept seemed to be the same, but comparing it to the mental snapshot I had taken earlier, extra words and ideas seemed to have been added.
To summarize the handbook contents, what was currently happening to Earth was something that happened to any species once they reached a point in development.
A more extraordinary being would flood the species of a world with energy, tentatively termed mana, for some unknown purpose.
Then, figures called administrators would approach the leaders in those species 20 years ahead of time to warn them about what was coming so they could prepare the populace for an event called The Culling, a year of surviving the changes happening to the planet before the planet and its inhabitants moved onto the next tier.
Some planets listened and were well prepared, utilizing those 20 years to get their people in order, train them for whatever situations may arise, and promote unity in surviving the year of the culling.
Other planets were like Earth, where political and religious leaders were only concerned with their financial gains and protecting themselves, and completely neglected to inform anybody about anything.
I had wondered why there was a sudden increase in global interest and unity toward space exploration and relocating to another planet, but this might explain it.
Our bastard leaders wanted to run away.
The realization made me snort before I continued reading.
The leaders of a particular planet could choose to prepare themselves or enlist the aid of entities like H.E.L.P. Apocalypse Co. to help support the planet's transition.
In return, they got unspecified benefits, and both parties profited.
One of the benefits of H.E.L.P. Apocalypse Co. was gaining employees to help work towards the company's cause.
The recruitment method was pretty simple: either they reached out directly to talented individuals they had their eyes on or in the gap where people were on the verge of death, H.E.L.P Apocalypse Co made "job" offers from each of its four branches - Peace Keepers, Liberation Healers, Excess Supply Squad, and the Life Preservation Team.
Each branch had different methods, but the consensus was the same: employees work hard to pay off the life debt, earn profits for the company, or perish in a gruesome way.
After understanding the general gist of it, my simple conclusion was that Earth's leaders had sold each of us out for unknown profit.
I wasn't surprised in the slightest, so I continued reading, memorizing the greater detail I was seeing now.
One of the Life Preservation Team's jobs was simple: Using the Waystations owned by Life Preservation Team Members, different services were provided to 'guests' at a cost.
The main categories were food and shelter, which would inevitably deteriorate as power struggles began and humanity had to adapt to the changes brought by The Culling. Still, other services could be expanded upon at employee discretion by purchasing them from the H.E.L.P. Apocalypse Co.
Some possible services were skills, items, or even artifacts that should only exist in imagination.
Even the briefly listed options were fantastical: a potion that could keep you physically young forever, a sword of fire, a three-headed hound for protection, magical skills, or even a castle that could fly around.
It could all be provided for a hefty price.
After going through the summary, I got the general gist of it.
To put it extravagantly, I would be a kind of host or manager of the waystation, providing life-saving or luxury services to "save" or preserve people's lives while ensuring the company's profits.
To put it simply, I was a glorified hotel owner, sales associate, chef, maid, store owner, and corporate slave all rolled into one.
To make matters worse:
1. This was an unpaid job.
Not only was it unpaid, but I was in debt and would have to pay the company according to the complex payment structure described, which gave me a headache just looking at it. I really had to hand it to them; their lawyers were so good, and the accountants of the Forbes 100 companies would be jealous of how they evaded fiscal responsibility from all angles.
Every angle was sheer profit.
2. The payment wasn't in the form of Earth cash. If it was, I would have emptied my bank account, every trust fund in existence, and robbed the Federal Reserve just to pay it off.
The payment was a concept called Life Energy Coins.
The coins could be used for various things, such as being converted to employee store points, refusing a task, and naturally paying off my life debt.
Of course, the conversion rate was arbitrary, and there was a double emphasis that Life Preservation Members could only earn them from others.
Remembering the words of the guys chasing me, talking about coins, I could easily guess how the coins could be acquired.
3. This company wasn't unified internally.
There were factions inside the company, and competition was heavily encouraged, even in the same department.
As a Life Preservation Team Member, the moment my sanctuary spark was stolen or destroyed, I would lose my position and become a flesh bag.
On the other hand, if I stole someone else's Sanctuary Spark or eliminated someone from another department, there would be a hefty reward and the sanctuary spark could grow.
I continued reading as much of the handbook as possible before the page refused to flip.
Familiar with the phenomenon, I read again from the beginning, forcefully cramming the information into my head.
Company details (vague), performance bonuses(minimal), Employee Benefits(unclear), Skill Selection recommendations for newbies(surprisingly helpful), recommended amenities to improve waystation profits(again useful if biased), department collaboration tips, and more; I just crammed everything in my head and sat still while my brain separated and categorized everything for digestion.
After understanding as much as I could, I came to a straightforward conclusion - I was fucked.
No.
I was royally fucked.
There were a bunch of things I couldn't understand until I looked around the employee store or interacted with other employees and regular people, and a lot of it seemed like gibberish that didn't make sense, but overall?
I was screwed.
Inter-department or cross-department alliances?
It was impossible.
I had somehow made the cut to become an elite, promising employee, and then, for an unknown reason, I had been kicked out of the orientation.
Abilities? I was considered a dud - someone with no original abilities from my own class.
Since I died before receiving a class due to slow calibration, I was classified as a useless combatant who was partially out of the class system.
I couldn't earn life energy coins by killing monsters or people, and was wholly dependent on the waystation and specialty tools in the Employee Store to collect life energy coins from people.
On the other hand, the rest of my coworkers would most likely already have a class before adding their employee class, which would give them extra skills.
They could also gain life energy coins like everyone else, in addition to coins gained from the waystation.
They also had double the opportunity to gain skills: one from their original class and another from their employee class.
In addition to gaining free extra skills, their bodies would become stronger and faster, they would heal quicker, and they would live longer, while I would o
The Specialty Skill Selection Ticket was the only way for me to learn a skill that wasn't related to the Waystation Intern class.
If I estimate it on the low end, at least 998 people had classes that would help them protect themselves, their waystation, or whatever else.
On the other hand, I was a pure worker, entirely dependent on the employee store or the kindness of others.
If I couldn't find a way to protect myself, I would be a regular person in a world full of crazy people with insane abilities that would eventually degenerate into a world filled with humans killing each other, monsters, and worse.
I would have to waste whatever money I had on getting skills to protect myself instead of paying off the debt or reinvesting into the waystation, which would put me in a position behind everybody else.
The vicious cycle would then continue as tasks got more difficult and those around me got stronger.
Just the realization alone gave me a headache.
My goal was simple: survive as a neutral party, pay off my life debt, and, once I was free, report the hell out of this company that put me in this position to a higher authority.
It was the American way to sue, and I planned on suing on a global interplanetary multi-universal level if that was what it took.
Why the hell would you forcibly employ somebody into this kind of hell hole?????? Huh????
Did I ask to be brought back to life? No, I was forced!!!
Did I ask for slow calibration and no abilities? No, that was your fault!
As the vein in my forehead began throbbing, the Employee survey clutched in my hand fluttered out.
But instead of the blank questionnaire that was slightly stained with homemade red ink, it was now filled with an elegant script.
[😊Little White Cat😊]
[😊This is a corporate apology letter for causing distress during the process of employment (this letter is not an admission of guilt and cannot be used in any court of law. All Rights Reserved, H.E.L.P Apocalypse Co.)😊]
What part was an accident?
My voice was spliced repeatedly without my will, and you pressed the mute button when I tried to protest.
Then, without shame, you clapped wowwww while raining confetti.
[😊Two wrongs don't make a right, so stop threatening violence, to sue, or quit. You saw what happened, right? Humans should be grateful for being given another chance at life instead of whining like stray dogs. 😊 ]
Whoever had written this letter should drop dead and die, resurrect, get forcibly employed, and be told they had to pay an unrealistic amount of funds with a vague contract after watching somebody turn into a flesh balloon.
[⚖️Even though you didn't attend orientation, things should be more or less balanced with you and Helpaco (the company name is so long), so that's that. ⚖️]
Should a supervisor be shortening the company name like this?
[Looking forward to watching your quarterly performance this year, our youngest intern. Very excited about your conversion into a full-time employee. Work hard.]
Drop Dead.
[¯\_(ツ)_/¯😊Cutie Boss😊]
[P.S. Here are some garbage seeds to eat, grow, or throw away. I am not just giving these to you because they've been sitting in storage for a while and they're taking up space, or because I got caught messing around; I'm feeling generous just this once. Be grateful.]
Generously, let me quit without the threat of death. Or better yet, generously bring your face and bite this curb so I can jump on it. Generously tie this cement block and go swimming with bloodthirsty sharks. Generously go tanning in the center of the sun or go swimming in a black hole.
[ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, 😊Cutie Patootie Boss 😊]
[P.s.s. Naturally, the employee survey is canceled, and all admissions of wrongdoing will be deleted.😊]
Reading the message and watching it turn to smoke in my hands, I could feel my blood pressure begin to rise, even, and I mentally began cursing everybody from the company to the boss out.
What the hell was this?
Wasn't this an admission of guilt from the floating arm sent to piss me off?
You ate my food, told me to calm down, and are throwing garbage at me after denying you did anything wrong?
Then you confidently deleted the evidence?
Just die.
Give me back my cupcakes first, and then die!
Wait for me during the quarterly review, I'm coming to report you, damn bastard!
"Oi, emoji hr chatbox, where are you? I have a lot to complain about. Shouldn't there be a hotline complaint number?"
There was no response.
"Why are you being so silent now? Speak the hell up."
There was still no response.
Cyril: ಠ_ಠ
Calming myself by counting to 10, I stared at the employee before organizing the things in my head: first, use the food ticket to get my blood sugar up, then a skill ticket, and finally, a store ticket. This was the required order of use, and it wouldn't work the other way around.
Getting up, I walked over to the meal ticket, which lay peacefully on the floor, and grabbed it.
The moment my hand touched it, it disappeared, and on the floor, a disposable Styrofoam tray with three simple items appeared.
A miniature box of H.E.L.P Apocalypse-branded plain donut-shaped cereal in a familiar brown color.
A pint-sized 100% whole cow milk flavored with yellow split peas in an unappealing green vomit-colored carton.
The tiniest plastic bottle of water, about 4 ounces total.
First of all, even if I ignored the off-brand cereal, I was lactose intolerant, and even though I regularly ignored that fact, who the hell wanted to drink pea-flavored milk?
Secondly, there was no bowl, spoon, or napkin.
As I picked it up, the Styrofoam tray itself bent under the weight of the three items before snapping in the middle and dropping everything on the ground.
The milk carton burst open splashing green pea flavoured milk all over my pants and the flimsy cereal box broke, spilling half its contents on the floor.
Seeing the mess, I began counting to 10 in my head while feeling the vein in my forehead throbbing.
Cyril, have patience.
Patience.
Please let the universe deliver me some patience.
Otherwise, I really think my head would explode from anger, and I would drop dead.
Since there was a chance that I wouldn't die from a brain aneurysm, I had to endure by forcefully hypnotizing myself.