Kai Yanger had just obliterated reality. Again. But not in the usual, flashy, existential-crisis-inducing way. No, this time, something different happened.
It was an anomaly. A glitch in his otherwise perfect, omnipotent routine.
A girl.
Not a cosmic entity. Not an abstract paradox. Not even a rogue piece of narrative meat.
A real girl. Or, at least, she felt real.
Her name was Kiyomi. She was not supposed to exist. But as the unspoken ruler of infinity and all meta-physical concepts, Kai made her exist.
Why?
Because why not?
So, on this unassuming day, this girl with the perfect hair, an aura of something vaguely earthly, and a soft smile appeared before him. She wasn't bending the universe. She wasn't rewriting space-time with every blink. She was just… chill. And maybe, just maybe, that intrigued Kai more than the countless realities he had created and destroyed.
"Hey," she said, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "You're… Kai, right?"
Kai, lounging comfortably in his own constructed hyperrealm (which was technically infinite, but he was still holding a frappuccino like it was an everyday thing), glanced at her with a lazy smirk. She had the vibe of someone who didn't understand the magnitude of the presence she was addressing. She was just... vibing.
"Yeah, that's me," he replied, his voice smooth and unbothered. "And you are...?"
"Kiyomi," she said, casually leaning on a nearby wall that shouldn't exist, but was existing because he made it that way. "I don't know why I'm here, but I kinda felt like meeting you."
"Yeah?" Kai raised an eyebrow. "You're not gonna ask about the whole Boobie Man thing? No one ever gets past that part."
She shrugged, unfazed. "To be honest, I was more curious about how you drink iced coffee with no hands."
Kai paused, then cracked a grin. "I'm Kai Yanger. I transcend hands."
Her laugh was the kind that echoed through a room in the best way, not unlike a gentle breeze sweeping across a still lake. But the thing about Kiyomi was that she wasn't just some ordinary girl. She was real, in a way that wasn't confined to Kai's perception of reality. She didn't shudder when he blinked a new universe into existence, and she didn't collapse into philosophical terror when he casually flicked the multiverse around like a marble.
He didn't know if he should be impressed… or concerned.
"So," she continued, her expression playful as she tilted her head, "what's your deal? You just hang around and mess with the universe? No, like, real hobbies or anything?"
"Hobbies?" Kai repeated the word, as if he had never truly considered it. "I create realities for fun. Isn't that hobby enough?"
Her eyes sparkled with mischief. "Well, I was thinking more along the lines of... ice cream?"
Kai blinked.
"Ice cream? You want me to get you ice cream?" His tone was dry, but the intrigue in his eyes betrayed a small, unspoken curiosity. "That's your suggestion for real activities?"
She shrugged. "Why not? You've probably seen everything there is to see in this multiverse thing. But, you've never had a cone from a regular ice cream shop, have you?"
"Regular?" Kai's voice was a soft hum, like he was thinking. "You're saying there's such a thing as regular? Is this a construct of some higher plane of existence?"
She grinned. "Nope. Just the kind you find at the corner store."
And, for the first time in a while, Kai felt an odd tingling sensation in the back of his mind. Was this… normal?
"Alright," Kai said, standing up and stretching casually, his divine presence sweeping across the vast nothingness around them, folding dimensions like pages in a book. "Let's get you some regular ice cream."
They were standing at the front of a quaint little ice cream shop the next second. There were no portals, no flashing lights, just the soft hum of normalcy and the sound of a bell ringing above the door as they walked inside. The place smelled like waffles and chocolate, and there was a neon sign that flickered above the counter reading "Scoops of Serenity."
Kiyomi grinned as she looked up at the options on the board.
"You know," she mused, "It's crazy. I never thought I'd be in a universe where the most powerful being ever would be standing here, trying to figure out which flavor to pick."
Kai didn't answer immediately, his eyes scanning the many options. Strawberry? Vanilla? "Cosmic Chocolate Crater?" A flavor called "Uncertainty" (which, he assumed, had been created just for him). He was having a hard time narrowing it down.
"So," Kiyomi said, her voice low but filled with laughter, "Which one are you gonna pick? You going for something weird, like 'Quantum Raspberry Swirl', or are you gonna keep it classic?"
Kai's infinite mind contemplated the meaning of classic. But instead of getting too caught up in metaphysical implications, he simply pointed to the most vibrant one.
"That one," he said, "The Boobie Berry."
Kiyomi blinked and laughed. "You… You didn't."
"I did."
They both stood there for a moment, laughing at how absurd the situation was. After all, one minute, Kai Yanger had just erased entire realities, and the next? He was ordering ice cream that shared his name.
The worker, a young girl with bright blue hair, handed them two scoops of ice cream on waffle cones. "Here you go, enjoy!"
Kiyomi raised an eyebrow at the Boobie Berry. "This looks suspiciously like it's just vanilla with a bunch of purple food coloring."
Kai shrugged. "Doesn't matter. The taste transcends dimensions."
They sat on a bench outside the shop, ice cream in hand, as the normal world unfolded around them.
For once, the complexities of existence were forgotten. There were no narrative arcs. No life-or-death stakes. Just two people sitting on a bench, eating ice cream.
"So," Kiyomi said between bites, looking at Kai, "What's next for you? Any big cosmic events coming up?"
Kai glanced at her, a sly grin spreading across his face. "Oh, you'll see. But first… we finish this ice cream."
As they both sat back, the stars twinkling far above and the city bustling with the quiet hum of life, Kai felt something rare.
Something almost… normal.
And maybe, just maybe, that was the most powerful thing he could ever experience.
The Boobie Man had a girlfriend now.
And they were eating ice cream.
"Maybe we should make this a regular thing," Kiyomi said, finishing her cone and looking up at Kai.
Kai didn't need to answer. He already knew.
For the first time, he wanted to.
And that, too, was a paradox.
But, for once, it was one he didn't mind.
And so it was written, that in the multiverse of infinite realities, there were two things that could never be erased: ice cream and the curious bond between a man made of concepts and a girl who didn't fear the unknown.
What would happen next?
Well, that's a story for another time.
But, knowing Kai Yanger?
It was probably going to involve more ice cream.