Okay, so remember that thing where Leo and I finally kissed for real, and everything felt warm and glowy?
Yeah, scratch that. Because now our app—our baby—was on fire, thanks to Jason-the-backstabbing-tech-weasel.
"You're sure it was him?" I asked Brittany as she ran a thousand windows on her laptop like some sort of caffeinated hacker goddess.
"Positive. The leak's tied to his private GitHub account. He even named the folder 'NotStealingJustSaving.'"
"Wow. Subtle."
Leo was pacing like a panther, muttering the kind of curses that would make a sailor blush.
"How long has it been live?"
"Forty-eight hours. Long enough for our competitors to clone the features and pretend it was their idea."
I rubbed my temples. "And we launch in—"
"Six days," Brittany said. "But if we move fast, we might beat them to it. Or at least drop a public demo before theirs goes viral."
Leo stopped pacing. "We need a distraction. Something splashy. Unexpected."
I blinked. "Like what?"
"Like a fake wedding."
Silence.
You could hear the emotional whiplash.
"I'm sorry," I said. "Did you just say wedding?"
Leo turned to me. His eyes full of scheming. "Think about it. We've been 'dating' for months. Publicly. There are already engagement rumors. Why not use that to our advantage?"
I stared. "You want to throw a wedding to distract from corporate theft?"
"Exactly."
Brittany looked up from her screen. "I hate that this is actually brilliant."
**
Two hours later, I was standing in front of a bridal rack with Miranda and a chai latte, questioning every decision I'd ever made.
"It doesn't have to be legally binding," she said, flipping through white gowns like she was picking cereal. "Just flashy enough to dominate headlines for the next week."
"So we're faking a fake wedding?"
"You're faking a fake relationship and a fake wedding. You've officially reached rom-com inception."
"Great. Can Leonardo DiCaprio fake-marry me instead?"
She shoved a beaded gown in my arms. "You'll thank me when the stock price jumps."
**
That night, Leo and I sat on my couch, surrounded by flower samples and questionable cake fillings.
"This is insane," I said, biting into a lemon pistachio cupcake.
"Yup. Also, that one's a no."
"Agreed. Tastes like soap."
He leaned back. "So. Wedding."
I sighed. "Are you sure about this? You already gave up a dream job for me. Now you're planning a publicity stunt that could backfire in spectacular fashion."
"I'm not doing it for you," he said. "I'm doing it with you. There's a difference."
Pause.
Heart. Melted.
"Well, when you put it like that..."
He grinned. "Besides, it's not our first fake ceremony. Remember Jessica's birthday party?"
"Ugh. Don't remind me."
"I still have the Elvis glasses."
"Burn them."
**
By Friday, the news was out. Everywhere. Social media was losing its collective mind.
Startup Sweethearts to Tie the Knot in Surprise Ceremony!
From App to Altar: The Tech Couple We Didn't Know We Needed!
My mom sent me a gif of confetti. Leo's dad called to ask if he needed a real tux.
Jason, by contrast, was publicly losing it.
"This is insane," he ranted in a tweet. "They're faking a wedding to hide stolen code."
To which the internet responded: #jealousmuch
**
The wedding was set for Monday. On a rooftop. At sunset. Livestreamed.
"This is it," Brittany said, adjusting my veil. "One final PR swing. And then you either go viral or die trying."
I looked in the mirror. I didn't feel like a bride. I felt like an actress in a soap opera.
But I also felt... weirdly calm.
Because Leo was waiting at the end of the aisle. And for the first time, I didn't want to run.
**
The ceremony started. We walked in. People cried. Drones flew overhead. A dog barked in the distance.
"You look like a marshmallow," Leo whispered when I reached him.
"You look like a waiter."
He smiled. "Let's get married."
"Let's blow up the internet."
**
The vows were fake.
The kiss wasn't.
Because in that moment—right there, in front of friends, followers, and floral arrangements—I realized something.
I wasn't faking anything anymore.
And judging by the way Leo looked at me, neither was he.