[Ding!]
A crisp system notification rang in Su Chen's ears.
To him, it wasn't just a sound—it was divine music.
No, it was better. It was the heavenly melody of a celestial melon being sliced open on a hot summer day.
"Ahhh… this sound… I'm alive again."
His soul, which had nearly fled from his body a second ago, suddenly turned back mid-flight and slammed itself back in with new hope.
[Supreme Choice System Activated]
[Host, choose your path in the face of death:]
[Choice 1:
Stay exactly where you are. Do absolutely nothing. Accept death like a rock with dignity.
Reward: One Chicken Lollipop (Something tasty to munch before you die. Yum.)]
[Choice 2:
Start crying, fall to your knees, and beg Old Jack for mercy while calling him "Father" repeatedly with sincere emotion.
Reward: Best Son Medal
(Wear this and the next person you call "Father" will sincerely believe you're their biological son. One-time use only. Use wisely, you disappointment.)]
[Choice 3:
Insult Old Jack to his face. Tell him his daughter's chastity isn't safe in the future.
Also, snitch on Lin Yu's hiding spot like the treacherous coward you are.
Reward:Void Travel Talisman (Instantly teleports you 10,000 miles. Escape card for the shameless.)
Wood Sovereign Script (An ancient cultivation technique that lets you absorb and control Wood Qi… but comes with the risk of turning into a tree. Use at your own risk, Groot.)]
Su Chen's expression twitched.
"What the hell, System?! Are you drunk?! You damn son of a bitc~!"
Su Chen's mind exploded in fury.
"Why the hell are these my options?! Are you seriously trolling me right now?!"
He felt like vomiting blood. Not because of fear—but because his own system was treating this like a cosmic prank show.
There he was, one breath away from death, and this bastard system was offering him chicken lollipops and "Best Son" medals like it was a cultivation-themed game show.
His face turned pale, then red, then pale again.
"This piece of trash system is actually mocking me while I'm about to die…"
He screamed in his mind—but not a single muscle moved on his face. He didn't dare.
His eyes burned with rage, but his body stayed frozen stiff.
Even blinking too loud might get me killed.
Yet inside, he was roaring:
"System! System! You come down here and take my place if you're so damn funny! At least give me a fourth option that doesn't suck!"
But there was no reply.
Su Chen's face twitched. "Alright, alright! I choose Option 3! Happy now?! But at least give me the reward first, damn it! What if I get turned into meat paste before I finish?!"
Still no reply.
Not even a beep.
Su Chen felt his heart drop to his stomach, then fall through the floor and dig a tunnel to the underworld.
That meant the system would only give the reward after he completed the task.
Classic scam system.
"Alright… alright…" he muttered to himself like a man trying to talk himself into jumping off a cliff. "First, calm down."
So he did. He took a deep breath, rubbed his face, patted his chest, and told himself he was just a cockroach—resilient, shameless, and really hard to kill.
But just as he was calming down…
Old Jack's spiritual sense swept through the forest like a cold wind.
And it was headed straight for him.
Su Chen's eyes snapped open. "Shit! No time!"
He bit the bullet, stood up from behind the banyan tree, and yelled at the top of his lungs:
"HEY! Hey you, old man!"
His voice echoed through the forest like a debt collector chasing a broke uncle.
Old Jack, who had been floating above the smoldering ruins of the village, actually froze mid-air.
He slowly turned his head toward the source of the voice, brows furrowing.
That voice…
Of course he recognized it.
It was his favorite neighbour in the entire village—Su Chen.
The same Su Chen he had carefully drugged and tucked in for a quiet, painless death this very morning.
And yet here he was, standing under a tree, yelling like a lunatic with a death wish.
"…Huh," Old Jack muttered.
Meanwhile, up in a nearby tree, Lin Yu nearly choked on his own spit.
WHAT?!
Someone else was hiding here?!
Not just someone—Su Chen, that useless orphan kid who couldn't even open his meridians!
Lin Yu's brain short-circuited.
His thoughts spun in circles like a broken compass.
He had a secret.
One he hadn't even told his father.
A few days ago, while playing around the old, abandoned Buddhist temple in the village—a place that hadn't seen a real monk since the last dynasty—he'd found something strange.
It was just an old, dusty bowl, buried beneath a pile of prayer mats. The other kids wanted it too, but as the village chief's son, Lin Yu had naturally pulled the "I'm the boss" card and snatched it.
At first, he thought it was just a junky antique.
Until today.
Today, it had suddenly started to glow and speak.
Then a childlike voice piped up:
"I am a powerful weapon spirit! I choose you as my disciple!"
Lin Yu had, quite reasonably, thought he was going insane.
But then he remembered all the bedtime stories about poor kids finding ancient treasures and becoming immortal heroes overnight.
So he agreed.
The spirit had warned him that a demonic formation was going to descend over the village. Told him to hide. Said he wasn't ready to fight back yet.
He wanted to save his parents—but the spirit warned him again: if he moved, the demonic cultivator might sense him.
So he'd curled up in a hollow tree like a terrified squirrel.
And now this.
"MASTER!" he whispered furiously in his mind. "You told me no one else was here! How the hell did Su Chen sneak past you?!"
The bowl spirit replied in a voice that sounded like a guilty kindergartener caught stealing cookies.
"Uhhh… my spiritual sense is still under construction, okay? I just woke up today. Give me a break."
Lin Yu nearly cried.
Meanwhile, Su Chen yelled again, louder this time:
"HEY, OLD MAN! COME DOWN HERE!"
His tone was full of confidence, like a drunk guy challenging the village bully after four shots of rice wine.
Old Jack raised an eyebrow.
He was surprised, sure, but he wasn't worried.
He smiled, floating down from the sky like a kindly uncle—except the kind of uncle who would stab you if you asked for a second helping at dinner.
He descended slowly, arms behind his back, a gentle expression on his face.
Su Chen gulped. That smile was the scariest thing he'd seen all day.
Like a grandma smiling before she threw her sandal.