---
Lin Feng had one goal today: do nothing.
After becoming an Elder by napping in the wrong chair, approving hot springs in battle arenas, and almost starting a war with the Crimson Shadow Sect over a banana insult, he just wanted peace.
So, he decided to meditate.
Peaceful. Calm. No accidents. No demon kings. No ducks setting off firecrackers.
He picked a quiet spot near the bamboo grove, set up a cushion, lit some incense (accidentally upside down), and closed his eyes.
Inhale.
Exhale.
He was going to be a serious cultivator for once.
Ten minutes passed. Nothing exploded. No one screamed. He was doing it!
Until—
"Excuse me, Honored Elder Lin Feng… are you… transcending?"
Lin Feng opened one eye.
It was a young disciple—wide-eyed, notebook in hand, shaking with reverence.
Lin Feng blinked. "I'm just… meditating?"
The disciple gasped. "Of course! So humble! He denies enlightenment to remain grounded!"
More disciples appeared. Word spread faster than spiritual gossip during tea hour.
Within minutes, a crowd had gathered, all sitting behind Lin Feng in a perfect semi-circle, mimicking his breathing.
One whispered, "I feel his chi through the breeze!"
Another scribbled, "Step one: inhale the essence of burnt incense stick. Step two: wiggle left toe subtly."
Flame Duck showed up with a bell tied to its head, quacking rhythmically.
The Demon King stood in the shadows holding a banner that read: "Lin Feng Enlightenment Sect — Free Membership Today Only."
Lin Feng peeked over his shoulder and panicked.
"Wait, what sect?! I'm just trying to nap with style!"
Too late.
A disciple in tears knelt before him. "Master Lin Feng… your aura healed my back pain!"
Another shouted, "I saw a vision of a celestial dumpling!"
Suddenly, Bai Xue ran up, holding a scroll. "You're trending in the Spirit Net! Someone tagged you as #BambooSage and now everyone thinks you're starting a sect focused on enlightenment through naps!"
Lin Feng clutched his head. "I took one nap under a tree!"
A merchant showed up minutes later. "Honored Sage, would you bless our pillows?"
A craftsman followed. "I've made you this: the Supreme Nap Mat—enchanted for maximum snoozing!"
By the end of the day, Lin Feng had:
Accidentally founded a philosophical movement based on dozing in quiet places.
Received donations of 127 cushions.
Been asked to write a book titled "The Path of Sleepening: How to Cultivate While Horizontal."
He sighed, sipping tea from a "World's Sleepiest Elder" mug.
"I just wanted one quiet day…"
Flame Duck quacked wisely.
---