---
The next morning, Lin Feng awoke to find his face on a billboard.
Well, technically, it was a spirit-light projection hovering above the Snooze Pavilion, with his half-sleeping face, hair disheveled, mouth slightly open, and a dumpling falling out of his hand. Bold, glowing letters read:
"Lin Feng: Taste. Tranquility. Transcendence."
Official Spirit Brand Ambassador for Eternal Naps Co."
Lin Feng sat up, blinked, and promptly screamed. "WHAT THE—?!"
Bai Xue, sipping tea nearby, didn't even flinch. "Ah, yes. The brand deal went through last night. Apparently you're the face of six new spirit wellness products: incense-infused dumplings, anti-worry talismans, and spirit-weighted blankets shaped like ducks."
"WHAT?!"
Flame Duck flew in with a professional headset and a ghost intern. "Congratulations! You're now an official Legendary Spirit Brand Ambassador! You'll be attending ribbon-cutting ceremonies across three spirit provinces. Here's your schedule."
He handed Lin Feng a scroll the length of a dragon's tail. Lin Feng unrolled it, and it kept unrolling… and unrolling… until it hit the floor and knocked over a bonsai tree.
"Duck, I'm not doing this."
"You already are," Flame Duck replied cheerfully. "You were voted in unanimously by the Spirit Brand Council. Your face is already printed on enchanted ginseng water."
Lin Feng clutched his forehead. "I'm being haunted by capitalism."
---
The first branding event was at the newly opened Spirit Snacks MegaMart. Ghosts lined up in flowing robes, each holding a complimentary nap scroll and a spirit snack basket. A chorus of ghost children sang:
"Rest like Lin Feng, snack like the sky—
Snooze your soul and learn to fly!"
Lin Feng, now in ceremonial robes stitched with embroidered dumplings, stood on stage holding a massive jade scissors.
"Just cut the ribbon," Bai Xue whispered. "And try not to faint this time."
"I can't believe this is my life," Lin Feng muttered. Then, louder: "Let's… embrace snackful serenity!"
The crowd exploded in cheers. Someone in the front row fainted from enlightenment.
---
Later that afternoon...
Back at the retreat, Lin Feng tried to hide in the broom closet. It didn't work. Flame Duck found him in four minutes.
"Big news!" the duck quacked. "You're trending in the Netherworld's Top Ten Spirit Influencers! You just beat out 'Elder Bone-Snap, the Laughing Exorcist' and 'Ghost Grandma's Soup Cult'!"
"I just wanted to nap on a mountain," Lin Feng moaned. "Now I'm leading a sleep revolution."
Flame Duck pulled out a tiny mirror. "Say it with me: 'I am the face of passive enlightenment.'"
"I am the face of mild confusion and sleep deprivation," Lin Feng corrected.
---
Meanwhile, Bai Xue had taken over the Retreat's new merchandise department. Ghosts lined up to buy "Lin Feng's Sleepy Sayings" engraved on mooncakes, spirit robes with built-in pillow collars, and a surprisingly popular item: "Flame Duck Wisdom Nuggets" in fortune cookie form.
One read: "Never trust a cultivator who doesn't nap."
Another: "Dumplings are the soul's true form."
"I should start charging royalties," Flame Duck said proudly.
"You should start offering therapy," Lin Feng muttered.
---
That night, Lin Feng snuck out to the mountain's peak, trying to find some peace. He lay on his favorite flat rock and stared at the stars.
Bai Xue found him an hour later, holding a half-eaten spirit bun and whispering to himself.
"I never asked for this," he said. "I'm not wise. I'm not enlightened. I just didn't want to be roasted alive in a trial-by-lightning."
"You're not wise," Bai Xue agreed. "You're relatable. That's worse. People love you for being a mess."
Lin Feng groaned. "I'm doomed."
"Yep," she said. "But now you're a legendary spirit brand ambassador, so you're doomed with sponsorships."
Flame Duck flew over, now wearing a mini cloak. "We just got a new offer! A spirit cooking show called 'Naps & Noodles: Enlighten Your Appetite!'"
Lin Feng rolled off the rock and lay face-down in the grass.
"Fine," he mumbled. "But only if I get a nap break between episodes."
"Deal," said the duck.