Rudeus stood up. "Sorry, but where would we even get the money to pay the expenses? We just got here."
Ryusui laughed—a loud, confident burst that practically sparkled. "Money? My dear magical peasant, I bring economics across worlds."
Lloyd Frontera stood, arms crossed, eyes sharp. "Naturally, I agree. The great Lloyd Frontera cannot operate from a commoner's shack. If we are to base ourselves anywhere, it must be befitting of our status."
His butler Javier silently adjusted his tie behind him, as if this declaration was already expected.
Senku facepalmed.
"Ryusui," I asked flatly, "are you telling me you brought currency from another universe?"
"No, no, no," he grinned. "Better. I brought commodities. Gold, diamonds, a proprietary NFT collection, and a monopoly on interdimensional bread."
Just as the conversation threatened to spiral into a luxury debate, another voice chimed in—low and calm.
"I don't care where we stay," Sung Jin-Woo said from the corner, arms crossed. "But the place better have enough room for shadows."
Everyone turned to look. Behind him, a portal flickered as a few shadow soldiers loomed silently in the background, clearly not fitting in a standard apartment.
Ryusui raised an eyebrow. "See? Even the edgy guy agrees—penthouse or bust!"
Gojo raised his hand lazily. "Also, I'm still technically Gojo Satoru, heir to the Gojo clan. I have offshore accounts."
Gojo flashed his black card. "Cursed finance. Don't ask questions."
Makima stirred her tea delicately. "Public security pays handsomely if you know how to leverage fear, power, and bureaucracy." She sipped. "I invested in Apple."
Apple?
Kazuma muttered, "Of course, all the rich people made it here."
Denji whispered, "Wait… you can invest in apples?"
"No," Yuji replied. "Different kind of apple."
"I too," Ryusui said proudly, "am a man of great desire—and great wealth. If you want a penthouse, I'll buy the tower."
"Wait, wait," Subaru cut in. "So, you're saying we can just... live rich?"
"No," I corrected. "They can live rich. You're freeloading."
Gojo threw an arm around me. "But you get to pick the floor, Mr. Psychic. You want a rooftop view? Boom. Covered."
Makima tapped her fingers together thoughtfully. "I've already secured a building."
"What?!" I snapped.
She smiled. "I sensed the dimensional imbalance early. Bought a safehouse through front companies before arriving."
Of course she did.
Gojo turned. "I call dibs on the pool."
"I'm building a sauna," Ryusui said, puffing up. "And a bakery."
Kazuma blinked. "Are we… being adopted by billionaires?"
Toritsuka sobbed, "Finally. I won't die a virgin in a basement!"
Everyone said in unison. "You have your own house. You're from this universe."
I sighed. "Fine. We'll relocate. But if you flood that building with monsters or blow it up with magic, I'm not fixing it."
Subaru raised his hand. "What if the monsters come to us?"
"Then we charge them rent," Lloyd replied, calmly terrifying.
I looked at the ceiling, prayed to no one in particular, and finished my coffee jelly in one bitter gulp.
Good grief.
Later that night—after several arguments over bedroom assignments, one brief swordfight in the kitchen (Denji and Shadow, of course), and Gojo somehow installing a jacuzzi with his own hands—the chaos began to die down.
Kazuma sat in the corner of the luxurious penthouse living room, clutching a borrowed laptop like it was sacred.
His fingers trembled as he typed in a username he hadn't used in years: KingKaz_420.
Password. Entered.
Click.
A loading screen. Hope flickered in his eyes.
And then—
"Account not found. Would you like to create a new profile?"
A silence heavier than Subaru's trauma filled the room.
"No…" Kazuma whispered. "No, no, no, no—WHAT?!"
He slammed the laptop shut.
"WHY DID THEY MAINTAIN THEIR WEALTH BUT MY ACCOUNT GETS ERASED FROM EXISTENCE?!"
Gojo peeked in from the hallway. "Maybe Steam doesn't support cross-dimensional logins."
"THIS IS A CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY!"
Denji shrugged. "Just make a new one?"
Kazuma collapsed dramatically onto the couch, face-down. "What's the point? My level 98 Thief... gone. My custom armor set... gone. My triple S-rank waifu party... gone."
Makima walked past without even looking. "Tragic."
Ryusui, sipping wine from a goblet (where did he even get that?), offered a toast. "To new beginnings!"
Denji blinked. "So... you broke?"
"I HAVE MONEY," Kazuma snapped. "But my mount was a glowing death-chicken! You can't just replace that!"
"I don't want new beginnings," Kazuma groaned into the pillow. "I want my loot."
I walked past him toward the balcony.
Multiversal instability, reality collapsing, curses, rifts in time...
And this is what breaks him.
Good grief.
I have to let my parents know I'm gonna be far from home for a while.
---
End.