Morning in the swamp.
A new day. New regrets.
I woke up to the system.
[Notice: Pregnancy Progress - 2 Confirmed]
[Skill Unlocked: Swamp Camouflage Lv.2]
Still no fireball.
But now I could lay in a pile of moss and look like a damp rock.
Great. I was now officially a glorified pebble.
Then came the problem.
The Goblin Council (a Stump and Some Idiots)
Ma Grugga, Splorp (his face still bruised from the last melee), and three elders with names like Pibble, Gloob, and That One Guy called me over.
"Gob, you go make trade!" Grugga said, holding up a chicken.
I blinked.
"A… trade?"
"Yes. Trade chicken to Rockface Goblins for two big shiny rocks."
"…why me?"
"Because you Frog Prophet, idiot."
Can't argue with that.
Setting Off
I grabbed the squawking chicken.
It bit me twice.
I considered punting it into the swamp, but system pinged.
[Quest: Deliver Chicken]
[Reward: 150 EXP]
Fine.
I stomped through the swamp towards the border where Rockface Goblins lived — a bunch of ugly tree-dwelling goblins who painted their faces with mud and moss.
Real classy types.
The Trade
At the border, I met their leader, Mudnut.
Yes. Mudnut.
He looked at me, then at the chicken.
"What that?"
"Trade chicken for two shiny rocks."
He squinted.
"Only got one shiny rock. And half a snail."
I squinted back.
"That's not the deal."
Mudnut growled.
I growled.
The chicken pooped on my foot.
Then Mudnut's idiot brother, Blib, threw a stick at me.
Big mistake.
Diplomacy (Goblin Style)
I chucked the chicken at his face.
It screamed.
He screamed.
Mudnut screamed.
Everyone screamed.
The chicken latched onto Blib's head like a feathery parasite.
Then someone threw a rock.
Then another.
In about five seconds, the trade meeting turned into a mud-slinging war.
System pinged.
[New Quest: Win Border Brawl]
[Reward: 250 EXP + Bonus Partner (Optional)]
Of course.
The Brawl
I used Mud Sprint to tackle Blib into a bush.
Used Swamp Camouflage to turn into a mossy rock when three of them chased me.
They tripped over me.
Into a swamp hole.
FATALITY
Mudnut charged.
I grabbed the chicken, still latched to Blib's face, and used it like a flail.
CHICKEN FLAIL TECHNIQUE!
WHAP.
Mudnut went down.
Victory.
[Quest Complete: Win Border Brawl]
[+250 EXP]
[EXP: 930/800]
[Level Up Available]
Hell yes.
Level Up Screen
[Level Up!]
[New Level: 3]
+5 Strength
+3 Dexterity
+2 Intelligence (now I'm barely smarter than a rock)
No skills unlocked.
Because of course not.
I sighed.
But then…
[Notice: Unexpected Pregnancy Detected]
I blinked.
"…who?"
[Blib's sister, Gorga the Rocktooth]
I stared at the screen.
"I didn't even—"
System: Swamp juice party. You forgot.
Goddammit.
Back to Camp
I returned victorious.
One shiny rock, a half-dead chicken, and war declared.
"Gob good trader!" Ma Grugga declared.
System pinged.
[Skill Unlocked: Improvised Weapon Mastery Lv.1]
Well.
Still not a fireball.
But at least now I could turn a chicken into a lethal weapon.
Good enough.