January 24, 2021
"Holah, you now watch movies like it's one of your heavy unit courses. If it's not kdrama it is reality show or nolly wood. I think you should reconsider…"
"Esther… school just resumed na... and we still have five months to go." Second semester at Convent Faith is usually the longest and most demanding. Should I be judges for trying to ease off stress before the worst days come?
We were just in our second semester 100 level then.
"But these movies… They are…" She had grumbled. "I miss my friend…"
"Awwwn" I blushed as I pushed my lappie (laptop) aside with a 'I'll be right back' plea, it's like choosing between what I love and who I love.
"You see I'm not lying when I say you cannot do without me…" I tickled her.
"I'm not playing. These movies are not for you." And she left.
I fell in love with watching movies during our first semester break 100 level. I got movies then from a friend I met in French class, Tolani from IRPM. Tolani was the direct opposite of my bestie, Esther. There was never a dull moment with her because she would surely have a story of 'one movie she watched' to talk about, and she tells the stories so well that you will want to watch them yourself.
In my house, TV was like our enemy. My dad hates it almost every time He sees us (I and my sister) glued to it. My mum's always keen on us changing the channel to the ones she wants us to watch and then God… Or should say 'Fate' also happened. Our decoder got spoilt, my dad only expressed his joy and never repaired it, and so we were stuck at watching the 'news at this hour'. But Tolani brought to me the life I so much wanted.
Wait…
I didn't become Tolani's friend because of the movies or her sweetness. I am actually a very principled girl. I don't let anyone into my life anyhow. In fact, I choose the people I spend time with. Tolani was a very popular figure in chapel. She's the only 100 level in chaplaincy until and that's because her immediate sister who is in 400level is the leader… And Chaplaincy unit; isn't that the next in rank after the Chaplain's Himself? So I believed she would have all the first-hand information that I need to always know while in school. I wasn't disappointed, she's not only intelligent but also fun to be with.
Tolani promised me that after our final exams she would send me all the movies so I could watch them during the holidays and that I did, 24 hours a day in my room at home. I had the best moments of my life. It was like moving into another world and remaining there. I grew fantasies I couldn't even have imagined before, sweet fantasies I tell you. I laughed, I danced, I sang, I cried, I played, full dopamine satisfaction!
So when school resumed, I just couldn't tune off that life completely. In fact, I got more movies to watch It's not bad na. I am allowed to enjoy myself, or who says it's a sin to have fun? Tolani soon took Esther's place in my heart. Esther was just too boring and always complaining. If she's not saying 'let's study', it is 'have you done this assignment?', or 'bible!' or 'let's pray'.
I never said this to her face, but it got to a point that I just could not wait for fot the mid-semester room shuffling that year to come. When it came, I had my dreams come true, I was moved away from Esther to Tolani's room. It wasn't a coincidence and I can't say its result of prayer because I and Tolani made it happen.
"You're going to Elizabeth's hall to leave me here, and you expect me to carry your load for you and say bye bye with a smile?" Esther lamented. This girl loves me.
"It's not my fault na. Ah a see violence o. Shebi we can always visit each other…"
"It can't be the same. It hurts." My emotional spiritual mama.
We had a little 'lovers talk' before she finally helped me move to my new hall. I still remember her last words.
"Aholah, I don't know much about you, but I know that you changed this semester. You stopped our night prayers, and you don't pray and study His words anymore. Did you even realize that you used the F word yesterday while we were talking? I don't know who is influencing you, and I'm scared for you. Please promise me you will make it right with God and become His friend even as we are now separated. Aholah please…"
And I assured her that I was perfectly fine, and I only got too busy since it's second semester and microbiology is not an easy course.
Her words touched me and for the rest of that week I was sober trying hard to stay away from my laptop. But Tolani… as my new bunkie soon changed everything. It felt like she was my soulmate. She always knew what I wanted and how I wanted it. In few days, Esther's word were out of my head and Tolani's words filled it.
"Carry go my friend! Life's not that hard."
"Who says watching romance is bad? Is 'watching' make you a sinner what do we call the real perpetrators?"
"We are youths if we are not allowed to explore we should at least be allowed to know."
"We should watch these things so that we can know how to do it well when the time comes."
"Are you not enjoying yourself? What else matters?"
Her words. Sweet words. Just the words I wanted to hear. Words of freedom to live my youth the way I want it.
***
Present day, 8th March
I caught a smile play around my burning cheeks as I stared at my HOD's windows. I had escaped Esther and her troubles successfully today it's time to face another of my fears. My HOD. He had sent for me.
Brace yourself Aholah. He's got words for you. Definitely not good ones.
To be continued…