Love is such an idiotic thing.
They say it's pure. Selfless.
But to me? It's just an excuse to get close to someone.
A dressed-up word for loneliness. A mask people wear so they can satisfy their desires and not feel guilty about it.
So then why?
Why does the hero throw his life away for his so-called "loved ones"?
Why risk everything for a stranger?
Did he not want to live? Did he have no goals? No dreams?
Honestly… it's bullshit.
No one lives without desires.
That's why I think villains are more honest than heroes.
At least they admit what they want. Power. Revenge. Freedom. Whatever it is, they chase it without lying to themselves.
But heroes?
They're just hypocrites in shining armour.
If a villain kills to grow stronger, he's evil.
If a hero does the same, he's "fighting to survive."
Please… even bullshit has limits.
My eyes landed on the laptop screen.
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Title: The Ascension of Trailblazers
Chapters: 967
Status: End of Volume 9, side stories coming next year.
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This story… I practically grew up with it.
It was thirteen years ago. I was fourteen.
My father had an accident.
The doctors said he needed immediate brain surgery.
But the operation failed. And just like that, he was gone.
I thought, from now on, I need to be the backbone of my family.
But the moment we got home from the hospital, the first thing my mother did was search for the property documents.
By the next day, I was sitting in an orphanage like an idiot, waiting for her to come pick me up.
One day passed: I waited.
One week passed: I started to worry.
One month passed: hope began to crumble.
One year passed: I finally gave up.
On my fifteenth birthday, one of the other orphans gave me a gift.
It was 'TheAscension of Trailblazers', Volume 1.
Back then, I didn't think much of it. The story had only 60 chapters.
So, I read it.
A year later, a new volume dropped.
With a little money in hand, I bought it.
And just like that, the Twelve years went by.
I became a company employee. The income was stable. If I got promoted, I could live without much trouble.
A few days ago, Volume 8 dropped.
Of course, I bought it.
From time to time, I reread the older volumes to recall forgotten details. After all, thirteen years is a long time.
Now that I've finally finished it again, I can say this with confidence:
It's bullshit.
The main character made a noble sacrifice and saved the world.
What a load of crap.
It's not that I just hate him.
No, I do hate him.
His personality.
His stupid choices.
All of it.
And yet, I don't know why the hell I kept reading.
Maybe… maybe I wanted to be loved like he was.
Or maybe I just needed someone to hate.
'Stupid.'
He wasn't the stupid one.
I was.
If not, why else would I waste so much time complaining about a fictional character?
I hate myself.
I hate my life so much that I've thought about ending it more times than I can count.
But I haven't.
There were still things I wanted to try.
Dreams I hadn't even started chasing.
Though I couldn't move forward, I hadn't let go either.
"Live until you find a reason to live."
That's what the doctor said.
I didn't know what I was going to do with my future.
Honestly, I was just drifting.
A wanderer with no purpose.
'Sigh.'
I stood up from my chair and stepped out of my dull apartment.
The moon hung high in the night sky, and the wind greeted me with a cool breeze.
I found myself walking toward the riverbank nearby.
It was as beautiful as always.
One of the few things I'd always wanted to do was explore new places, soak in peaceful views.
I don't know why, but it felt like they healed me.
Whenever I saw a beautiful scene, I'd just stare at it, silently, letting it wash over me.
But no matter how much I wanted to, money always held me back.
As I stared out at the river's quiet shimmer, a voice broke the silence.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?"
"Yes... It is," I replied, turning toward the stranger.
The moment my eyes landed on her, I froze.
She had white hair with piercing blue eyes. A beauty that didn't seem real.
It took effort just to tear my gaze away.
'This isn't like me.'
She was beautiful.
Maybe beautiful is an understatement to evaluate her.
'A cosplayer? Or perhaps a model?'
Then, her voice reached me again.
"How long are you planning to live like that?"
...Was she talking to me?
We didn't even know each other. What gave her the right to ask something like that?
I stayed silent, hoping she'd just lose interest and walk away.
But again, her voice came, gentle yet relentless.
"You have so much potential... and yet, you're not even using the bare minimum of it."
A pause.
"But I suppose I can't blame you."
Now it was getting irritating.
Why was she bothering me?
I clenched my jaw. If silence wasn't enough, maybe directness would be.
I turned toward her, ready to tell her off.
"Look, I—huh?"
I didn't get to finish.
The world tilted.
Suddenly, I was falling.
Down into the river.
My eyes snapped back to her,
Her arms were outstretched... like she had just pushed me.
'Why?'
SPLASH.
The freezing water swallowed me whole.
Panic surged.
I tried to swim, but my limbs wouldn't respond.
The moonlight above me dimmed, swallowed by the river's surface.
'Is this how I die...?'
My lungs burned.
My body screamed for air.
'No...'
Even if my life was miserable, I didn't want to die, I still wanted to live.
Pain exploded in my head like thunder underwater.
And then, her voice reached me again.
"Three destinies await you, traveller of death. Choose wisely… or let time choose for you."
The darkness around me began to shift, and light started to bloom on the river surface.
Suddenly, I was being pulled toward it, like iron drawn to a magnet.
The brightness grew as I neared it.
And I dashed into it.
And then the whole world changed, and what waited beyond the light was something far worse than I could've imagined.