They say there's always a way out of your problems.
As if it was that easy, but, honestly, some times it is, sometimes it's not.
But is there a way to stop the misfortunes that keep coming into my life?
Well, Im still young, so why should I worry about this?
I'm not over the past, neither satisfied with the present.
Will the future be better?
Will I forget what happened before?
Will I be happy?
I'm not religious or anything but, if gods really do exist, then please, answer one of my questions.
Any.
I don't really care if I die, as long as I can make the people I care of happy, then everything is fine.
My own health?
I don't really care much, I mean, should I even?
People say I'm pushing my luck, that I'm crazy for saying stuff like that, but am I really?
Prioritizing others has always been my thing.
No matter if they are older or younger.
I just don't want them to go unstable nor go through similar situations I had.
There's so many worse stuff that could have happened to me, yes I know.
But is it right to downplay and invalidate my troubles? Or anyone's problems???
I don't have as much friends as before, as my problems grew bigger, they left me.
Why?
I don't know, I would always listen to their problems and try to help them out, but as soon as I had problems, they would just ignore me.
As if the only reason they spoke to me was because I was their "psychologist".
Now that I'm in college, I need to prioritize more my studies rather than problems, which honestly, isn't a good thing.
You should always prioritize your health.
But being a medical student, truly annoying.
Having to memorize so many stuff, but it's worth it.
Helping people, doing the best I can to even help strangers when I'm not even an actual hospital worker.
If you have any kind of knowledge, you should use it, it can save someone's life.
Years of being a "nuisance" to people for being unstable, I'm glad I'm more stable now though, but in the end, after years, it'll just be the same thing.
I want to help people, I really do, it's tiring but it's what everyone should do, but sadly there's barely any people like this.
You should always help others, even yourself.
I used to think to myself, is it really worth it to live?
Until I met Hua Chenyao.
Hua Chenyao is an art student, we met each other by chance, she was crying all alone in an alleyway.
I approached her and gave her some tissues, at first, she looked at me with an annoyed expression, as if she didn't want any help. I sat right besides her, waiting for her to calm down.
She suddenly warmed up to me and told me what happened, she had a fight with her family, when she told me the details I started crying.
She hugged me and started laughing at that, she was so cold, it was raining that day and yet, she didn't have an umbrella.
Ever since that day, we started sharing a place, we both have problems with our families, so why don't we became eachothers family instead?
She would often refuse to call me by my name, since she didn't like how my family gave me my name, Shiying.
Since they see me as a waste.
Why so?
Because they wanted a boy, not a girl.
Dumb right?
Because of that, she calls me Yinyin.
Kinda childish but she loves it.
To me, she is the only reason to continue living.
She is the family I need, and I was the one she needed.
Living as a family with her was a really big process, getting to know eachother, helping eachother, caring about eachother.
It was... Mutual help.
No one ever cared about me but her.
And honestly, I'm glad I was alive the day I met her.
I will do anything to help her.
Maybe...life isn't so bad.