Harley
"Seriously I don't know how William could pass you up for this promotion it has your name all over the research paper notes yet Smith gets the credit" Alex says pouring me another drink, I've lost count of how many at this point.
I'd like to lie and call this a nightmare but I never fell asleep in the first place, and this was just another bleak retelling I gave myself while lying in bed.
"Look I don even carreee Smith got the promotion but what about the principle!" I shouted the end of my words slurring as my vision blurred, I was lying even drunk.
"I gave them the best years of my life as a student and then as a assistant lecturer but they passed me over for some 20 something."
I'd gotten home 3 hours ago and thought a nap would be great to will up the courage to tell Derek I in fact did not find a job and would continue to bum around the house until we were evicted. Fun.
The bed we got 5 years ago now was indented on my husbands side so there was a slight dip when I moved too close to the middle that always made me want to kick him in the middle of the night. So I did. Looking at the ceiling they were impeccable I'd know, I'd cleaned them after I'd first laid down and noticed the dust.
Lamenting on the sad fact of my extended unemployment I grabbed my phone from my joggers and the first thing I saw made me more miserable than I already was,
Derek - You got this love! Their not going to know what hit them!
Mum - Derek called said you have an interview, finally. Time to step up.
Great, just great now even my mother was going to get an update on my failure of a day, how great. I ignored both messages and logged onto Seek to continue my endless job search.
Hovering at the search bar I had no idea what to put in, what did I want to do.
I knew that I didn't want to teach anymore but that was about it when it came to the ideas department.
"arghhhhhhhh, whatever", closing my phone and crawling deeper into bed I tried to forget my existence.
When I finally woke up drenched in sweat and panting I thought now that was a nightmare. It was always the same dream that had Derek panicking and asking me to book an appointment to see a psychologist.
But I never did, yes it scared me shitless but for some reason it was comforting. I'd never shared the contents with anyone and it was always the same person chasing me since high school, I'd run away then but now, I didn't have the energy.
The rustle of keys had me jolted out of my trance and checking the time on my phone - 8:00pm shit.
Not only had I forgotten to pick up Summer the dinner that should've existed did not. I tried to soothe down my hair as I went downstairs to try and salvage the situation or at least take the beating head first.
"Hey." Fuck why do I sound pissed,
"You know Summer had to get a ride home by one of her teachers after calling me crying and I get a hey " Derek's jacket and shirt were already off and only a white tank top and his navy blue jeans remained. His boots were still on, inside, on the carpet, I'd have to clean.
"Can you take off your shoes"
"That's all you have to say for yourself?", I walked past him and collected the clothes he'd left on the dining room table and went to Summers room, connected to it. I think Derek was still standing there, I didn't care to look back.
Knocking softly on the door, I hear a slight murmur in reply I open the door slowly.
"Hey Sum I'm sorry"
I stalk into the room slowly trying to miss the arrangements of books and knick-knacks littered everywhere and ignore the ghastly posters - okay maybe I was like other parents.
She was perched on her desk to the left of her window ,in front of her bed, knees to her chest. Drawing something similar to a gargoyle onto a sketchpad. I didn't hate the black walls but I wish she'd chosen something closer to her name but when her and Derek teamed up I didn't get much say.
"Did you get home okay?" shitty question to ask.
"I'm fine" she was too kind to be angry at me as her face was puffy, eyes swollen.
"I'm so sorry Dad had a bad day and needed a nap." I tried to explain wrapping her in a tight hug.
"Everyday lately has been a bad day." That had me loosening my grip surely I wasn't that bad lately.
"I know I'm sorry look I'll make your favourite tonight, anything you want?" I pleaded smiling warmly.
"Can we have spagetthiO's?" Summer turning her head and leaving my grasp said with blue puffy eyes.
"You want pasta from a can?" fuck my life.
"Sure baby we probably have some somewhere I'll go whip some up for you and Daddy okay?" her smile brightened, she was still so young even at 10.
"Yes please.".
Collecting Derek's clothes' I headed past the dining which I had now confirmed he'd vacated and to the laundry room to dup them into the hamper.
Upstairs I heard the shower running, I beelined to the kitchen cupboards hoping that those tins of horror were absent, they were not, I sighed as I emptied three cans into a stainless steel pot. Placing them on the stove with high heat leaning on the kitchen island settling into a memoir I'd been reading on the kindle app.
"How'd it go?" Great.
"How'd what go?" I turned my head casually taking in the beautiful scent of lavender and peony steaming off of Derek, hair still dripping.
I didn't get to appreciate the sight much longer before he opened his mouth,
"The interview how'd it go, well the first round?"
"I may of embellished a tad it wasn't an interview per say but a job search agency interview... anyway that's not important they had nothing for me so that's that.".
God I hated when he made that face, full of disappointment and distrust I wasn't lying it was purely omitting some details, it was his mind that did the rest.
"Your kidding, look I we were all so excited - wait whatever they had nothing?" then I remembered and I really wish I hadn't because he didn't deserve this at all.
"Yes you were ALL looking forward to this, is that why my mother had to know?" I thought I'd sound more venomous but honestly I just sounded betrayed and sad.
"Harley they've been helping us - ",
"stop... just stop. I know sorry." I'm exhausted when did everything get so tiring.
"Well okay... but what are you planning to do now that they don't even have anything?".
Silence, I couldn't bring myself to lie or omit this time.
"Omitting again I see?" this time I looked up to see Derek's cheesy grin, god I wish he'd rub off on me a little.
"Your married to a future sanitation officer, your gonna be fighting off the ladies to keep me from now on." I said a small chuckle escaping my lips as I moved closer to be met with a tight embrace.
When did I start crying?
"I know it's not what you envisioned but it's honest work and - and I'm proud of you for getting back out there."
"I'm thirty five working a minimum wage job so we don't loose our house, I've failed you both with my selfishness." I whispered a reply voice cut out with tears following one by one.
Derek didn't respond, what could he say? Instead he wiped my tears and let me head into the bathroom and freshen up as he plated the food and got Summer.
I might've as well been a parasite at this point.
No purpose but to drain it's host organism, my loved ones.
My phone pinged after dinner as I snuggled with Derek and Summer had headed off to bed.
Isabelle - I'm bored let's head out bitches!
Tylor- I'm 36 let me sleep.
Alex - I second that comment.
Me - It might be fun.
Isabelle - He's alive!
Me - very funny.
Alex - well since his majesty will be joining us lets go girls!
I decided to wait until Derek passed out to sneak out, look I'm a grown man I don't need to sneak out but it still felt shitty to sit around all day while he was at work and then go out drinking as a reward for abandoning our daughter and at this point trying to stay unemployed.
I decided on nothing too fancy just black slacks and a black dress shirt tucked in and some dress shoes. Knowing Alex she'd choose some up scale bar to try and bag yet another high profile doctor or lawyer.
I was right.
I met Tylor outside The Closet a new bar/club that had just opened a 20 minute Uber drive from my house closer to the city centre. Red neon lights illuminated from the front the clubs name glowing as a long line of people wrapped around the corner towards the entrance.
"Hey mopey what's the occasion? Did someone die now you miss us?" Tylor said in a playful tone with his a smirk slapped on there just for good measure.
"No I'm bored and want to be drunk, sue me." Walking past him a arm slinging onto me catching up to my momentum we made our way to the front of the line.
There we saw our beautiful Isabelle basically humping the bouncer,
"Heyyyyyyy! Your here guys, FINALLY, me and Bruce were about to ditch you guys." Isabelle was a fascinating creature seeing as she could flirt with a dead fish and somehow get it to give her its spine while they both giggled. Poking the large mans chests they continued to grope each other.
"Sorry you know Harley takes forever to do his makeup - " I wanted to hit Tylor. Hard this time, my skin is already looking dead enough don't want people thinking I aspire to look this tired.
"Sorry I'm late. Traffic." I respond hugging her briefly yet fondly.
"Okay okay okay, I'll forgive you just this once let's head inside!". With that Isabelle gave Bruce a final kiss and a yank of his junk and we were inside for free and no wait.
I could practically feel the afterburn from the stares we got walking in.
"Isabelle! Alex just texted, apparently she's on the second floor." We were all shouting at each other 'Hellos' and 'how are yous' over the bass and laughing voices. The floors were sticky and I risked loosing my red bottom loafers and the tinnitus was slowly settling in.
Regardless I had missed this, being out nothing to worry about, no responsibilities just ready to be drunk and make out with someone you'd regret in the morning. The rush of being alive following you every night in your twenties.
Eventually we made it to the second floor, the music was considerably quieter and the patrons wore more sophisticated clothes - aka they covered their asses.
Alex was at the bar looking stunning as usual. Where Isabelle was a bubble gum pink blonde with a wild streak that dominated men, Alex was a dark horse with long legs and a sultry voice. But if you asked me she was a venomous snake but hey at least she was a pretty one, and I loved her for it.
We could only see half of her head as a man in a medical coat, yes a medical coat in the bar stood in front of her apparently devoting himself to his part time gig as a comedian.
"Alex who is this guy, I had to put Jacob and Jessie in bed myself tonight." Tylor somehow teleported behind Alex and his large frame was giving Mr. Doctor the fright of his life.
"Oh um um I didn't know she was married, woman ey? Look I'll get going. Sorry man." With that Tylor had successfully chased off Alex's future bank account and royally pissed her off.
"The first time I see you guys in months and this is the hello I get? Tylor just so you know your getting cockblocked this entire evening." We all settle into seats in front of the bar laughing as Alex continues to berate Tylor, ordering our respective drinks.
Isabelle a cosmopolitan, Alex a martini, Tylor a rum and coke and me well of course you can never go wrong with straight vodka.
"Harley, are you unwell? What the fuck is up with your drink?" Alex quipped taking a long draw of her martini pulling her dark hair to one side.
"What? I like vodka, you know this."
"There's liking vodka then theirs abusing your stomach lining." she continued.
"Have you eaten baby?" Isabelle had the neat habit of referring to any of her friends as baby, took a while to get used to.
"How could I? The old ball and chain and Summer wanted to eat pasta from a can" I said downing the drink.
"First that sounds disgusting and second that ball of chain is my brother remember." Alex said turning back to the bar to order me a drink she considered reasonable.
I replied putting up my hands, "right cause you two are so similar I forget.".
"Honestly though, why does one look like a Oompa Loompa and the other like the wicked witch of the west, no consistency." Tylor could not avoid the head smack coming his way from that comment and it would make all of us burst into laughter that was unbecoming of thirty somethings.
The night was meant to continue going smoothly, well that was before I saw him.