A mechanical voice chimed.
"Arrival complete. Please disembark within 5 minutes."
I was still plastered to the floor of the reindeer-cart-from-hell.
Groaning, I pushed myself up and stumbled out.
My legs? Jelly. Absolutely jelly.
I took one shaky step away when—
"Personal belongings. Take all personal belongings."
"…I don't have any," I muttered, turning back toward the cart.
And yet—on the seat, something glowed faintly.
A weird, flimsy sticker?
"…Nikky?" Did he drop this?
Guess I'll return it if I see him.
I stuffed it into my pocket.
The wind howled across an empty desert plain. One lone building stood in the middle.
Hard to get lost, at least. Yay, silver linings.
Two hours. Just survive two hours and poof—back home. Easy.
Still wobbling like a newborn deer, I made it to the door.
Suddenly, a face appeared on the glass.
"Halt. No identity imprint detected."
"…What?"
"Authentication required. Proceed with alternate verification."
Why was everything here so bossy?
"Uh… how do I do that?"
"State your job, name, and battle record."
"I'm a teacher. Name's—"
Hold up. They probably wouldn't recognize my real name. Should I say "Tel"?
"That job does not exist. Try again."
"What? It doesn't – Are you kidding me right now? … Then fine, my name's Tel. At least that should be in your records, right?"
"Tel… Ah. There is exactly one with that name."
"…Finally."
"However, the listed profession is: 'Miscellaneous.' Confirm?"
What the hell does that even mean?
Still, Nikky must've registered me somehow.
"Sure, that's me."
"State your battle record."
"…Battle what?"
"You have no history of combat."
"Obviously."
"Access to zones is limited based on experience."
"I've literally never fought anything here."
The glass-face paused. Flickered.
"…Then provide the name of your sponsor."
"My sponsor… Nikky?"
"Specify. There are 38,735 Nikky entries."
…
I blinked. Just blinked.
What—do they number their citizens?
Nikky1245? NikkyXtreme?
Another cart swooped in behind me.
An elf—tall, elegant, annoyingly graceful—stepped off.
I was still processing the absurdity of my situation when they walked straight up to the door.
Ding!
Door opened. Elf strolled in.
"…How did he get in?"
"He has a biometric ID."
"Oh. Cool."
"Let's try one last method."
"Yes, please."
"Do you possess any item that can verify your identity?"
"…Like what?"
"Three methods: biometric scan, verified sponsor, or registered item.
Without one, entry is prohibited."
I thought hard.
Nikky had given me something…
The transparent card? That was back in the real world.
Wait…
"This sticker—can I use this?"
"Oh, finally. Should've started with that."
"…What?"
"Never mind. Place the sticker on the door glass."
"You want me to… sticker the door?"
I stared. This was kindergarten-level stuff.
But whatever. I pressed the glow-in-the-dark sticker against the glass.
Light burst out.
Swirls of holographic images danced across the surface, scanning me.
Then—FLASH!
A beam of light shot into my wrist.
"Whoa—HEY."
I yelped as a gust of wind slammed into me.
And then—
Congratulations!
You are now officially registered as the world's FIRST…
Bonk-Hammer User!
'Say the word! I'll bonk it back to peace!'
"Wait. WHAT?"
Bonk-Hammer?
"…What the hell is that supposed to be?"
"Bonk-Hammer User… Never heard of that one before."
"Never heard of it?"
"You've got a rough road ahead, huh? Still, maybe that's your fate."
"…So what do people usually pick then?"
"Swordsman, Mage, Cleric, Healer... stuff like that."
"Why didn't I get one of those?"
"Uh? You checked the box for 'Other' jobs."
"…I what?"
Suddenly, I remembered—
Back when Nikky was registering me in the reindeer cart…
…I was doomed.
A few minutes slipped by. I just… stared.
"Hey, this mark on my wrist—does it come off?"
"Nope. Why would it? Without it, you can't move around here."
"…Oh."
"You know, Tel, you're the first person I've ever handled full job selection for."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Everyone else who comes to this dimension already has a job."
This is insane.
So I'm that rare of a case.
"Don't know what Bonk-Hammer Users do either, but they're weak at first.
You'll get wrecked early on unless you start at Gate -273. That one's for total newbies like you."
My eyes lit up.
I nodded furiously.
"Perfect. I need info. Anything helps."
"No matter who tries to tempt you—start with Gate -273."
"-273?"
"Yeah. If you go anywhere else, you'll just die in your first battle."
"Gulp."
"Now go. You've been verified. I need to check in the next guest."
I looked back.
While I'd been babbling with a hologram inside a wall of glass,
a few others had lined up behind me.
Some were even smirking.
Feeling the burn of embarrassment,
I walked through the now-open front door.