I slammed the door behind me, harder than I meant to, but screw it, I was tired of being screamed at like a damn child. Keeran's voice still rang in my ears, cold and sharp.
"Go. To. Your. Room."
As if I was some misbehaving pup. Like he owned me. Well. Technically, he did.
I let out a shaky breath, pacing across the room. The moonlight spilled through the window, cool and silver, the only soft thing in this stupid place. I hated how beautiful it looked while everything in me felt like shards.
I sat down on my bed, technically his but I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of curling up in some lonely corner like a kicked dog. Nope and not tonight.
My eyes drifted up to the ceiling, and like some cruel little switch had flipped, the memories came rushing in.
My mate, River and my sister are having sex on his bed.
My throat tightened, and I blinked hard, fighting the sting in my eyes. Don't cry. Don't cry for him. He doesn't deserve it.
But my mind wouldn't shut up. Wouldn't stop replaying the way I found him, them.
My mate and my sister. Traitors. Cheater
The way they had sex it was like I never existed. Like the bond we shared was a joke, a fluke the Moon Goddess got wrong.
Even now, it didn't feel real. I kept thinking I imagined it. Maybe it was some twisted nightmare I hadn't woken up from yet.
But the bond hadn't snapped yet. I haven't rejected River yet. I just want to slap the light out of him so bad.
And ever since, my wolf, my other half, had gone quiet. It was a kind of silent deafening, especially to a talkative wolf.
Occasionally, she would howl for him it was a long, aching sound that echoed inside my bones. She howled for him. For the betrayal because of the mate we were supposed to have, for the sister who should've protected me.
I wrapped my arms around my knees, resting my chin on top, the room too quiet, and too cold. Keeran might have thought yelling would break me, like all the powerful alphas before him thought control meant respect.
The truth?
You can't break something already shattered. He didn't know it yet and I'll die first before letting him know. I could act normal around him, I could be a scaredy pup around him but I would never ever let him see through me. That monster has no mercy.
I lay there on the bed, arms crossed over my chest, staring up at the ceiling like it might answer the questions screaming in my head.
"Are you gonna say something?" I whispered into the stillness, directing the words inward to my mourning wolf. We need to talk.
Silence. Of course.
"You've got nothing to say now?" I scoffed.
"Typical."
I'm not used to my wolf's silence. She used to be loud, bossy, even. Always growling her opinions, snapping at me when I ignored her instincts. She was the wild part of me that never backed down from a fight. Now? She wouldn't even look at me, let alone speak.
Ever since that night, ever since Keeran… My stomach twisted. I remembered how he forced himself to me…
"If you're sulking about my virginity, he took it by force," I said aloud, as if saying it would make it more real, more understandable. "I didn't want that. And you know it."
Nothing.
I clenched my jaw. "What was I supposed to do? Fight him? You've felt his power. I couldn't even move-"
Still, not a single word from her. Not even a flicker of acknowledgment. Tears pricked at my eyes, sharp and hot, and I rolled onto my side, pulling the blanket up like it could shield me from the memory, from shame.
I whispered again, voice cracking, "How was I supposed to defend myself against a ruthless alpha who could snap my neck like a twig?"
Silence.
A different kind of pain bloomed in my chest.
"Don't act like it's all my fault," I muttered. "Don't you dare."
My wolf still didn't answer, but I felt it, the weight of her judgment. Or maybe I was imagining it. Maybe it was just me hating myself enough for both of us.
I buried my face in the pillow. "You're pissed because I gave him my innocence and because I let him take it?"
I laughed, but there was nothing funny about it.
"His no mate of us! We belonged to Alpha River. He is our mate." My wolf snapped.
The bitterness came rushing in, acid-hot in my throat.
"Yeah, right," I said. "He cheated on us with our sister." I spat the words like they were poison. "So why are you mourning him like some tragic hero? Why are you howling over a guy who didn't even blink before screwing someone else?"
Silence.
I sat up, hair a mess, heart a bigger one. "You know what? If we're going to get sh*t in any way, if we're going to be used and tossed around like toys, then maybe I don't care anymore. Maybe I'll burn this whole damn bond thing to the ground."
My wolf didn't growl. She just stayed quiet, like something inside her had died, and now all she could do was mourn.
And maybe… maybe I was doing the same.
There was a knock on the door.
I didn't move. I just stared at the wall like maybe if I stayed still enough, whoever it was would go away. At first, it was gentle. Just a normal knock. Nothing demanding. Nothing threatening. Then a voice, too muffled to make out. Didn't care enough to listen.
Let them talk to the damn door. I wasn't in the mood to play nice or be anyone's obedient little captive.
I stayed curled up, knees pulled to my chest, arms wrapped tight like they could keep me from falling apart all over again.
I was still locked in that stupid argument in my own head, still chewing on my wolf's silence like it was some kind of punishment.
And then, she spoke. Not gently, not with care. No. She snapped like a whip.
"If you hadn't been so eager to go off and learn about herbs and healing and that damn pack doctor nonsense… If you hadn't left, he wouldn't have cheated on us."
The words hit harder than the knock ever could. I flinched like I'd been slapped. My fingers dug into my arms, nails biting through skin.
"What?" I whispered.
"You left," she growled. "You were gone. Absent. Always studying, always trying to prove something. He was lonely. He needed you."
My heart stopped.
"You're blaming me?" I hissed out loud, voice shaking. "You're really blaming me for what he did?"
Silence again. Like she'd already said her piece and didn't care about the wreckage it left behind.
I stood up, pacing now, too angry to stay still. My hands clenched and unclenched like I didn't know what to do with them.
"You think if I stayed, he wouldn't have screwed my sister?" I laughed bitterly. "So that's the bar now, huh? I have to babysit my mate just to keep him from f*cking someone else?"
Still, nothing.
I stopped and stared at the mirror, catching a glimpse of myself, wild hair, eyes red-rimmed, pain written all over my face like war paint.
"If River was a real mate," I spat, "a faithful mate, it wouldn't have mattered if we were ten feet or ten thousand miles apart. He would've waited. He would've chosen us."
My voice cracked, but I didn't back down.
"But he didn't. Because he's a weak, selfish, spineless bastard."
My wolf didn't argue this time. She didn't snap back. Deep down, she knew I was right.
Another knock came, this time louder, more insistent but I didn't care. Let it be Keeran. Let it be hell itself. Nothing outside that door could match the storm inside me. My wolf and I locked in an internal battle.
"I was starting to wonder why you weren't opening your damn door, little slave," Keeran sneered, voice laced with venom and irritation. "Didn't think I'd just break it down while you were in the middle of some heart-to-heart with your mutt?"
My heart slammed in my chest. I hadn't even heard the door crash open. I'd been so wrapped up in my head, in that fight with my wolf, I didn't notice him storming in and didn't notice him getting that close.
He was standing by the bed now, right in front of me, his presence dark and suffocating. His face was just inches from mine, lips curled in mock amusement, but his eyes, those cold, predatory eyes, were anything but amused.
Instinct kicked in before fear did.
"I don't care who you are," I snapped, fury breaking through my haze. "Ever heard of knocking? This is my room!"
Wrong move.
I forgot, just for a second, that I wasn't in my packhouse anymore. That the rules here weren't mine to demand. That Keeran wasn't just any alpha.
He was this alpha. And I was his… whatever he chose to call me today.
His face darkened. Before I could take another breath, his hand shot out, fingers tangled in my hair like claws, and yanked it down so hard my neck arched with a sharp gasp of pain.
"You forget yourself," he growled, voice low and filled with ice. "This isn't your anything."
I barely had time to wince before his face
was right there again, so close I could feel his breath, warm and venomous against my skin.
"You're not some pampered little omega anymore. You're a slave," he spat, voice dripping with contempt. "My slave. My property. And this room, this whole damn house, belongs to me."
He let the words hang, thick with cruel truth, before releasing my hair. I stumbled back a step, rage and humiliation burning under my skin.
My wolf whimpered in the back of my mind, but still didn't speak. Maybe she was too scared. Or maybe too ashamed that this is where we'd ended up. Owned, used and labeled a breeder.
I swallowed hard, jaw clenched so tight it ached. I refused to cry, not in front of him, the bastard who took everything.
Keeran gave me one last glare before turning like he hadn't just ripped me apart with his words, and his hands.
"You'd do well to remember your place, Raven."
And then he walked out, leaving me standing there, shaking and small in a room that suddenly felt like a cage.