Nami's scream pierced through the thick mist, "WHAT IS HAPPENING?!" as the Going Merry lurched violently, suspended in a massive net that shimmered with unnatural strength.
Usopp and Chopper clung to each other, their faces pressed against the deck in a dramatic death pose. "WE'RE TOO YOUNG TO DIE!" Usopp wailed. "I STILL HAVEN'T PUBLISHED MY MEMOIRS!" Chopper added, tears flying everywhere.
Luffy, meanwhile, was having the time of his life swinging from the rigging like it was a jungle gym. "WOOOHOO! SKY RIDE!"
Nolan floated serenely on his nimbus cloud, munching on a senzu bean. "Mm. Good tension on these ropes. Quality kidnapping attempt. 8/10."
Before the chaos could escalate further, Zoro's blades flashed in a silver arc. "Santoryu..." The net exploded into harmless strands, sending the Merry crashing back onto the cloud sea with a comical boing sound.
Zoro landed gracefully, his eye narrowing at the shifting shadows in the mist. "Luffy..." His voice carried a dangerous edge. "Can I take care of this?" His swords practically vibrated with pent-up battle lust after days of fighting nothing but bad weather and Sanji's insults.
Not to be outdone, Sanji stepped forward, lighting a cigarette with unnecessary flair. "Don't hog all the fun, marimo." His leg twitched eagerly. "I need to test if sky people kick differently."
The mist suddenly parted like a theater curtain, revealing a breathtaking floating island – and three very angry locals.
Wyper stood front and center, his burn marks twisting as he scowled. "Outsiders!! You dare trespass on our sacred land?!" His bazooka-sized dial weapon gleamed ominously.
Kamakiri cracked his knuckles, his armor clicking. "Let's squash these blue sea bugs!"
Little Aisa, the only sane one, facepalmed.
Luffy, completely missing the mortal danger, bounced on the railing. "SO THIS IS YOUR LAND? CAN WE COME HERE?!" His massive chin wobbled with excitement.
"OF COURSE NOT!" Kamakiri roared before suddenly blinking at Luffy's deformity. "...What the hell is wrong with your face?"
Nami sighed. "Long story. Look, we just—"
"ENOUGH TALK!" Wyper interrupted, firing a massive blast from his reject dial that should have vaporized the Merry – if not for Sanji intercepting it with a spinning kick that sent the energy blast harmlessly into the sky.
Zoro yawned. "Hurry up, cook. I want the loud one." He pointed at Wyper with his Wado Ichimonji.
Sanji blew smoke rings. "Tch. Fine, I'll take the bug." He eyed Kamakiri's face "Hope you are tougher than you look."
Kamakiri lunged with his razor-sharp arm blades, only for Sanji to casually lean back, letting the attack pass millimeters from his nose. "Too slow," the cook tsked, tapping ash onto Kamakiri's head.
The Shandian warrior snarled, unleashing a flurry of strikes that Sanji dodged while somehow managing to light another cigarette.
"Mm. Your form's decent," Sanji mused, "but your footwork is shit."
Meanwhile, Zoro was having even more fun. Every time Wyper fired his dial weapons, Zoro would lazily deflect them with a single sword – often redirecting the blasts to accidentally destroy Kamakiri's attempted sneak attacks.
"STOP HELPING ME!" Sanji roared after the third "accidental" energy blast nearly singed his suit.
"Wasn't helping," Zoro smirked. "Just bad aim."
Wyper was turning purple with rage. "DON'T MOCK US!" He activated his jet dials, charging at blinding speed – only for Zoro to sidestep at the last second, sending Wyper crashing face-first into a cloud bank.
From the sidelines, Aisa watched in growing horror. "They're... they're playing with them."
Nolan, now lying on his back atop the Merry's mast, called down: "Zoro, Sanji, stop bullying the locals. We're guests."
Luffy pouted. "Aww, but they started it!"
Usopp, suddenly brave now that danger had passed, struck a pose. "BEHOLD! The mighty warriors of the Straw Hat crew! Tremble before our—" His boast was cut off as Chopper accidentally stepped on his foot.
Kamakiri, panting and humiliated, finally collapsed to his knees. "Impossible... how are they this strong?!"
Sanji took a final drag of his cigarette. "You relied too much on your toys." He crushed the butt underfoot. "Real strength comes from protecting what matters."
Zoro sheathed his swords with a satisfied click. "And from training until your muscles scream."
Wyper struggled to rise, his pride more wounded than his body. "This isn't over! I'll definitely kill yo-"
Nolan's gun suddenly appeared pressed against Wyper's forehead. "Let's not reach that part, shall we?" His sleepy eyes carried unexpected menace.
A tense silence fell – broken by Luffy's stomach growling loud enough to shake clouds. "HEY! Since we beat you, you have to feed us! Adventure rule #23!"
Aisa facepalmed. "What kind of pirates are you people?!"
Nami smiled sweetly. "The kind who will kindly accept all your treasure as an apology for attacking us."
.
.
.
"So your goal is Enel...? How can I believe your words?" Wyper growled, rubbing the fresh lump on his head from Luffy's punch. The Shandian warrior looked like he'd swallowed something sour – which, given Luffy's hygiene habits, might have been literal.
"YOU'RE RUDE!" Luffy shouted, his massive chin wobbling indignantly. "You should be THANKFUL this guy didn't erase you!" He dramatically pointed at Nolan, who was lounging on his nimbus cloud like a sleepy cat, casually popping senzu beans like candy.
Luffy's eyes suddenly bugged out. "Wait! Nolan! How come your body isn't growing weird?!" He grabbed his own grotesquely enlarged chin for emphasis.
Nami immediately joined the interrogation, hands on hips. "Yeah! You've been eating those beans nonstop! Why don't you have a... a..." She gestured vaguely at Luffy's disfigurement.
Nolan blinked lazily, then gave them a smirk that was 10% mysterious and 90% smug. "Owner's... privilege..." He yawned for dramatic effect, stretching like a satisfied panther.
"That's cheating!" Luffy howled, flopping onto his back and kicking his legs like a toddler. "I want owner privileges too! Give me your seeds, Nolan!"
Usopp facepalmed so hard his nose bent sideways. "Phrasing, Luffy! PHRA—"
Sanji roundhouse kicked Luffy into a nearby cloudbank. "Don't say shit like that around ladies!"
From her vantage point, little Aisa watched the chaos with the weary eyes of a child who'd seen too much. She pinched Wyper's arm urgently. "Wyper... please stop antagonizing the pretty one. He's... wrong." Her voice dropped to a terrified whisper. "Like, 'shouldn't exist' wrong."
Nolan's eyes slid open at that, locking onto Aisa with sudden interest. The girl froze like a rabbit spotting a wolf – torn between blushing at his unnatural beauty or running for her life.
Nami, ever the diplomat, clapped her hands. "Look, we're technically criminals here too! We didn't pay Enel's stupid toll, so now his lightning bolts keep trying to murder us." She gestured to Nolan. "Not that it works."
The Shandians' hostility evaporated faster than alcohol at a Marine party. Kamakiri scratched his head. "Wait... you pissed off God by being cheap?"
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Wyper grudgingly extended a hand while laughing loudly. "Enemy of my enemy, I guess."
As negotiations continued, Luffy demanded food, Usopp exaggerated their exploits, and Chopper somehow got adopted by Shandian grandmothers. Nolan quietly floated away on his nimbus, drawn to a weathered stone statue – Kalgara, frozen in eternal battle cry.
"Hm." Nolan nodded approvingly at the ancient warrior before drifting back toward Robin. Without warning, he grabbed her wrist and yanked her onto the cloud with him. The archaeologist yelped in surprise, then immediately relaxed into a predatory smile as she found herself pressed against him on the suddenly very cozy nimbus.
"My my," Robin purred, tracing a finger down Nolan's chest. "Inviting me for a ride so soon? The sun's still out, Sloth-san." Her voice dripped with playful implication.
Nolan's smirk turned wicked. "More... kinky... this way." His sleepy gaze burned with promises that would make a brothel madam blush.
Robin's laugh was dark honey as the nimbus ascended, carrying them toward a secluded cloudbank. "How... efficient of you."
Below them, Sanji noticed their departure and immediately burst into flames. "THAT LAZY BASTARD IS—MMPH!" Zoro conveniently "accidentally" shoved a rice ball in his mouth.
"Shut up, cook," the swordsman grunted. "They've been eye-fucking since Alabasta."
Luffy, completely oblivious, waved cheerfully. "HEY! BRING BACK SNACKS!"
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