"I love sand~! Hahahaha~!"
Asmodeus stood outside the Great Pit of Carkoon, spreading his somewhat pale-red arms out and soaking up the light of the twin suns! The sand on the ground swirled around him as the ground rumbled, cracked apart and small boulders lifted up into the air!
"Ow! *Cough-cough!* Well that was dumb."
He quickly 'pushed' all the dust and dirt away, including what was stuck to his body. There were even a few small cuts and scrapes from the tiny pebbles that randomly smacked him. Obviously his midi-chlorian count was a lot higher than his IQ… For that matter, the average human has a count of 2,500 midi-chlorians per cell. While the highest ever recorded was Anakin Skywalker at 28 to 30 thousand, though it could have theoretically been as high as 40k. In other words, midi-chlorians aren't everything. Otherwise, a regular human would only be about 11 times weaker in potential than the 'Chosen One'?
"I wonder what my midi-chlorian count would be? Probably like 20k at least, right? No wait, if midi-chlorians are counted 'per cell', then couldn't you just have more cells? Sith Purebloods are way denser and bigger than the average human. They probably have a lot more cells, so even if I'm not that OP, I'm probably not that weak either…"
Asmodeus snickered and looked back at the scary teeth that were visible outside of Sarry's mostly hidden mouth. When she wasn't eating, there was no point keeping mouth open in the middle of the desert. That would just make her waste water resources and burn calories faster.
"Even if Sarry's midi-chlorian count is super low, she has so many fucking cells. Maybe she could be the first Darth Sarlacc?"
Obviously she couldn't become a Jedi. For that matter, Asmodeus knew that he was never cut out to be a Jedi, even if he wasn't reborn as a Sith.
"Anyway~! Time to get some real exercise!"
He was still naked and didn't even bring his lightsaber, because this wasn't goodbye. Just a casual jog through the scalding hot desert in the middle of the day!
"Phew~!"
An hour or so later, he was breathing heavily and holding his knees while feeling nauseous. It was only about ten miles at most, but under the hot, scorching suns and while using the Force to help out along the way, it was impressive that he didn't die of heatstroke. Of course, he didn't travel far. Mainly doing laps around the general area of the Sarlacc Pit. Otherwise he might get lost or worse, 'found'.
"I wonder what year it is? Jabba is alive and looks kinda… Well, it's hard to judge his age, but Sarry hasn't heard anything about the Clone Wars yet. None of the people she ate recently happened to know much about what's happening outside of Tatooine. The Boonta Eve Classic is gonna happen soon, but that doesn't really mean much, since it's an annual race…"
He wanted to find more information, but Jabba didn't come to feed Sarry very often. At least, it only happened once since he's been down there. Before that, the last meal was Giza, the unfortunate Twi'lek slave.
"Whatever! There's no point worrying about that! Hahaha~! No matter what happens, I just need to be strong enough to deal with it! Sarry!"
*Oiiiieeeeiiii~!* A tentacle emerged from the pit and reached out to the edge, handing over a bottle of some kind of glowing green 'soda'. Asmodeus took a few small sips of the warm liquid and coughed a bit because of the potentially radioactive 'carbonation', "Ehm… Uh… So yeah… I never really thought about this before, but it feels kinda weird now."
'Return to me. Moisture.'
"Are you sure?"
'Never waste.'
"Okay then."
So just like that, the tomato-skinned boy was pissing off the edge of a small cliff into the giant mouth of the thirsty monster. To be fair though, she ate and drank any kind of organic substances that she could get her tentacles on. Even while slowly digesting her usual victims, they would stay alive for a decent amount of time. Nothing was ever wasted. Even bones would be devoured eventually, not to mention urine and feces.
Once he was finished with the glass bottle, he tossed it over into the sand. Littering on Tatooine really didn't matter much to the environment. In fact, the Jawas would likely find this bottle and other metal trash someday, treating it like valuable treasures to collect or sell to random people who might need it for whatever reason. There were actually quite a few broken droids laying around that maybe someone like Anakin Skywalker could cobble together into a living, sentient robot that most people in the Galaxy would treat like a simple tool or slave.
"I wonder if a Droid could become Force Sensitive?"
An hour later, Asmodeus was floating cross-legged above the Sarlacc Pit. He wasn't crazy enough to risk breaking his lightsaber by taking it apart and putting it back together again. The first time was the only time. If he fucked it up now, then he'd probably lose it forever.
"Why can't I fly? Like, it's so easy to float, but flying is impossible? How does that make any sense?"
He reached out towards a large boulder about twenty meters away and tried to lift it… Then he fell down into the tentacle pit.
An hour later, after eating, drinking, pissing and shitting, Asmodeus was back outside. This time he was holding a black hilt in his hands. He turned a little, almost unnoticeable dial with his thumb, then the beam emerged relatively slowly. He turned the dial back a bit and the beam shrunk down shorter…
"You can do that?"
For a whole minute, he was just casually adjusting the length and fooling around. Even shrinking it down to just a little nub and stabbing like he was shanking the air. Then he ran his thumb across and the blade shot out to about 2 meters long!
"Holy shit! Hahaha~!"
For his current height, it was a bit dangerous and unnecessary. So he dialed the length back until it was only about the same as the length of his arm. As he danced around and swung the blade randomly, he imagined fighting off a bunch of enemies…
*Tssst~!*
"Fuck!" He watched his long, beautiful hair falling into the sand…
"Goddamn it. Well, I needed a haircut anyway, hahaha~!"
Unfortunately, it wasn't a very even cut. At first he tried to intentionally 'trim' it shorter, but then the rest of his hair burst into flames!
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