Bella's inner turmoil was reflected in the dark liquid of the half-empty bottle of beer that sat accusingly on the coffee table.Her hands gripped the cold glass tightly, trembling a little.
The words caught in her throat raw and ragged as she whispered "How could he?"
Her skin was already flushed and a hot stinging tear traveled down her cheek leaving a wet streak. The betrayal, a poisonous current running through her veins, was more than just the wine. Sam. The name itself left her tongue tasting bitter like a curse.
The memory now seemed to be a harsh mockery, a flimsy delusion destroyed by the harsh light of reality. With the room swaying slightly around her she forced herself to get off the soft sofa.
What had started out as a slow burn of rage had turned into a raging inferno. She was overcome by it and the pain was overshadowed by a desperate desire for answers. Incredulous and angry she muttered "He chose her" her voice rising in a crescendo."He really did pick her.Evie"
The name was equally toxic, evoking images of fake innocence and calculating smiles. There was a glimmer of doubt, a tiny spark of self-reflection but Bella fiercely put it out. Had she not seen through it? She wasn't to blame for this.
This was Evies manipulation and Samuels deceit. She could see her distorted pale reflection staring back at her from the darkened windowpane. Her lips were pressed into a thin irate line and her normally bright eyes were shadowed. She appeared to be. . . lost.
Bella's mood was reflected in the sickly grey light of the following morning's dawn. Although she still had a dull ache behind her eyes from the previous night's indulgence, the emotional hangover was much more incapacitating.
She wore a mechanical outfit and the weight of her dashed hopes was evident in every movement. She winced when her phone buzzed. Samuel was it. Her breath caught. She experienced a knot in her stomach. To cut all connections and remove him from her life completely she felt the urge to toss the phone across the room.
However there was another more masochistic side that yearned for the conflict. To be sure that this wasn't some complex deranged nightmare she needed to hear him explain and see the guilt in his eyes.
Her voice was surprisingly steady as she responded. "Samuel, hello."
There was a pause followed by his strained uncertain voice. "Bella. I need to see you, I must. We need to talk."
With a sardonic undertone she shot back "Oh you think? Because I thought we had already spoken last night. Or was it just another performance of yours?"
"Bella please. Let me explain."
"Explain what exactly? How can you look me in the eye and lie? How can you promise one thing and do another? How can you play with people's hearts like they're some kind of toy?"
"Bella, that isn't the case. It is not simple. I'm trapped."
A sour laugh escaped her lips as she sneered "Trapped?. Is that your justification? Samuel you're an adult. Decisions are up to you. You also picked her. Avoid trying to sugarcoat it."
"That's not it at all! Evie is superior to me in some way. Something from my history."
There was a trace of real fear in his voice as the words came out quickly and urgently. Bella hesitated, her rage briefly overshadowed by a glimmer of interest.
"What do you mean by that?"
"I can't tell you on the phone. Do it Bella. Let's meet. Last time. Just pay attention."The appeal was sincere.
It was audible to her. The glimmer of hope she hadn't completely given up clung to the idea that there might be more to this secret truth in spite of everything including the betrayal.
She finally gave in her voice, still piercing but tinged with tired resignation "Where?"
************************************************They met in a quiet park and the cool morning air did little to ease their tension. With his shoulders slumped and his face drawn and pale Samuel was already there pacing agitatedly by an old oak tree. His haggard appearance was a sharp contrast to the self-assured endearing man she had fallen for.
He stopped pacing as she got closer looking into her eyes. A silent anguish that pulled at something deep inside her was evident in his eyes along with a desperate plea. She hardened her heart however.
"Samuel," she said, her tone even and icy, "Tell me. Also don't omit anything."
With a gesture of extreme distress he ran a hand through his hair. "I promise Bella I never intended to cause you any harm."
"But you did," she interrupted, trying to control her trembling voice. "You tore my heart apart."
"I know. And I sincerely apologize"
She automatically backed away as he took a step closer. "That was Evie. She is aware of something I did in the past. Something capable of destroying everything."
Bellas patience was wearing thin so she pressed "What something?Samuel be more precise."
He paused his eyes darting around as though he was worried about being heard. "Years ago. Prior to our meeting. I was a part of an illegal activity. It wasn't violent I promise but it was serious. financial deception. I was immature, desperate and young."
He stopped and drew a ragged breath. "Evie was there. She took part in it. She can provide proof."
"Proof."Bella looked at him, her head reeling from the realization. "Samuel? A criminal?" That seemed so completely inconsistent with the man she believed to be her acquaintance. "How come you didn't tell me?"
"Because I was terrified and embarrassed Bella. I'm afraid you'd abandon me. I'm afraid you would perceive me as something less. I put a great deal of effort into moving past that and creating a new respectable life."
His eyes were beseeching as he gazed at her. "As we became more serious Evie reappeared. She threatened to make me public. to imprison me. to destroy my reputation and my career. Every single thing."
"So you just… gave in?" she asked incredulously. "Some old secret is the reason you just left me?"
"Bella, what other option did I have? She threatened to call the police if I didn't marry her. I would be imprisoned by her. Additionally she has the power. The files. The records. She pays close attention to detail."
He spoke in a rough whisper that was laced with deep desperation. "I tried to talk sense into her head to buy her off to find a way out. But she refused to move. I am what she desires. She wants the life I've created for stability. And she was prepared to ruin me in order to obtain it."
Bella felt a wave of mixed feelings including confusion, rage and a grudging flash of sympathy. The picture of the self-assured charming Samuel was swapped out for one of a man imprisoned by his history.
"You were simply going to hurt me? Pretend to be married to her and lead a false life?"
"I didn't know what to do!" he exclaimed, his voice breaking. "Bella, I tried to keep you safe. She would pursue you as well. I knew if I stayed with you. She is spiteful. She's brutal."
Bella scoffed letting out a laugh without humor "Protect me?. By making me feel like a fool? By breaking my heart?"
"Bella, I have always loved you." Not even for a moment. His sincerity was evident in his voice which was earnest. "I thought of you whenever I was with her. For what I was doing to you I was detesting myself."
One could hear the conviction in his voice. A tiny voice that murmured He's telling the truth struck a chord with her deepest self. Even though the anger persisted it started to change and twist into a more nuanced feeling that combined hurt bewilderment and a growing comprehension.
With a softer, less accusing tone she questioned "Why are you telling me this now?"
"Because I can no longer tolerate the lie Bella. Also because something else happened."
This is made even riskier by something. As if a terrible new insight had just hit him he paused his eyes widening in sudden horror.
"There are others who are aware of it besides Evie."
Bella furrowed her brow in perplexity. "What do you mean?"
"It's someone from my past. Someone I've not seen in a long time. I thought he was dead."Samuel spoke in a shivering dread that was hardly audible above a whisper. "They arrived last evening. immediately after Evie confronted me about you."
Bella felt a chill slide down her back. Suddenly there was a heavy foreboding energy in the air around them.
"Who?"
Samuels eyes were wide with a mix of disbelief and fear and he was staring at something over Bellas shoulder.
His face turned pale as it lost all of its color.