"Wait—hold on! Let's talk about this!"
My voice cracked like a teenager on karaoke night.
The demon princess—whose full, luscious lips had just stolen my first kiss—grinned with terrifying delight. Her long violet hair shimmered with magic, and her eyes glowed like molten rubies.
"My love," she whispered, pressing her soft body against me, "you don't need to pretend anymore. I know your power is… dormant. But I shall awaken it."
"Wh-What?"
The crowd was still cheering. Demon nobles. Hellish generals. Even a three-eyed ogre was throwing rose petals.
Meanwhile, I was internally screaming.
[DING!]
[Main Quest: Survive the Demon Wedding][Time Limit: 23:58:12][Requirement: Make the Princess Fall for You (25% Affection)][Failure: Erasure of Soul]
[Hint: Flirting works better when scared.]
[Bonus: Kiss her again = +5% affection]
[Seduction Tip of the Day: "Act mysterious. Girls love a mysterious guy."]
I had never wanted to punch a screen so badly in my life.
"Demon God Reborn… I, Princess Malvaria Nox Umbra, heir of the Crimson Abyss, take you as my destined mate."
Her voice was beautiful and deadly. Like a rose with nuclear thorns.
"Y-Yeah… sure! Love at first death. Hahaha…"
I was sweating bullets. My hands were clammy. My brain was melting. But I had to fake it. I had to survive.
I cleared my throat and stood tall.
I narrowed my eyes, lowered my voice, and said the edgiest thing I could think of:
"My true power… cannot awaken in front of mere mortals."
The entire throne room fell silent.
Even Malvaria gasped.
The ogre dropped his rose petals.
[+10% Affection — Mysterious Aura Achieved!]
[Current Affection: 10%]
Huh. That… worked?
She grabbed my face with both hands, eyes sparkling.
"You really are him… The Demon God who sealed himself in a goblin's form. How poetic!"
Yup. Totally meant to do that.
Soon I was dragged—no, escorted—to my new chamber in the palace. Not a cell. A royal suite.
Black velvet curtains. Hellfire chandeliers. A heart-shaped lava jacuzzi.
And one very affectionate demon princess following me in.
"I had this room custom-made for our honeymoon," she purred, slinking closer.
I backed up into the wall.
"Ha-Honeymoon?! Isn't this a bit fast? I-I mean, we just met!"
Her eyes narrowed. "You kissed me first."
"YOU kissed ME!"
[DING!]
[New Sub-Quest: Touch Her Horns (Optional)][Reward: +15% Affection, Rare Item Drop]
I stared at her horns. Long, curved, dark purple with glowing runes.
"Don't look at them like that," she whispered, cheeks pink. "Only a mate can… touch them."
My brain short-circuited.
Was this what I thought it was?
But just as the mood thickened with demonic tension—
BOOM!
The door exploded open.
A demon general stormed in, battle-axe in hand.
"Princess Malvaria! You can't marry that goblin freak! I, General Krazul, claim your hand!"
Malvaria's smile vanished.
"You dare insult my future husband?"
"I dare challenge him to the Rite of Bloodfire!"
I choked.
"The what now?!"
Krazul pointed at me. "Single combat. Winner takes the bride!"
[DING!]
[New Emergency Quest: Win the Duel of Bloodfire or Be Executed][Level Gap Detected: Enemy = Level 60 | Player = Level 1][System Compensation Activated: Use Skill "Demonic Bluff (Passive)"]
Oh no.
Oh HELL no.
This system wasn't built to help me fight. It was built to humiliate me while I flirted with death.
But if I didn't win…
I glanced at Malvaria.
She was watching, breathless, eyes wide with faith.
"I believe in you, my Demon God."
I gulped.
"…I accept your challenge."