Cherreads

Chapter 5 - ok so like lol ....

Soft kitty, cartel kitty,

Little ball of fur—

Sneaks across the border,

With a bag of... purr.

Happy kitty, sleepy kitty,

Counting all that cash,

DEA comes knocking,

Kitty makes a dash.

If Jim Parsons sang this version on *The Big Bang Theory*, Sheldon would probably say,

"Penny, I asked for comfort, not a federal investigation!"

My cartel cat was prowling by the border wall,

Kept watch so long, poor kitty took a fall—

Bumped kitty… ohhh

Bumped kitty…

Just a friendly little cat.

My cartel cat was hiding in a secret flat,

Waited so long, poor kitty got trapped—

Trapped kitty… ohhh

Bumped, trapped kitty…

Just a friendly little cat.

My cartel cat was running from the DEA,

Ran so fast, poor kitty lost his way—

Lost kitty… ohhh

Bumped, trapped, lost kitty…

Just a friendly little cat.

My cartel cat was counting all the cash,

Stacked so high, poor kitty made a dash—

Rich kitty… ohhh

Bumped, trapped, lost, rich kitty…

Just a friendly little cat.

My neighbor saw my kitty with a bag of snow,

I said to my neighbor, "Let my kitty go!"

Free kitty…

Bumped, trapped, lost, rich, free kitty…

Just a friendly little cat.

My cartel cat tried to hide in a sombrero,

But sneezed so loud, blew his cover, oh no!

Sneezy kitty… ohhh

Sneezy, free kitty…

Just a friendly little cat.

My cartel cat took a nap on a pile of cash,

Dreamed of tuna, woke up with a stash—

Sleepy kitty… ohhh

Sneezy, free, sleepy kitty…

Just a friendly little cat.

My cartel cat tried to bribe the border guard,

Offered a fish, but got caught off guard—

Caught kitty… ohhh

Sneezy, free, sleepy, caught kitty…

Just a friendly little cat.

My cartel cat escaped with a clever plan,

Rode a llama, now he's the man—

Llama kitty… ohhh

Sneezy, free, sleepy, caught, llama kitty…

Just a friendly little cat.

Here, kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty!

For more about Jim Parsons, visit his official site: [https://www.jimparsons.com](https://www.jimparsons.com)

For *The Big Bang Theory* show, visit: [https://www.cbs.com/shows/big_bang_theory/](https://www.cbs.com/shows/big_bang_theory/)

I'm on ho+L+ed

I have air rights not good at making friends but I also have UC status and a lower clearance level and a higher One than anybody in the world and I can free all your idiots from jail so like hi!?

Lacy Peterson is Susie Sullivan NY

He killed a woman here using my lotus anime,m ? Idk then planned to kill me la innocent project double jeopardy

Oh no Ur men DT and at and stupid AF!

No off hense but amps bug UI IU n!!n hi disassembly of AK plus Hallowpt swap 331(1)3 minus 1 doit Dewitt

Keep keep mm swapp TT CIA bugs innamos all ps

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Maroo I Lopez Skye my real self 2012 Halloween ISH lolnxxx

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Verse 1

OMG, like, the Gambino girls

Are mixing White Claws with pearls

Yakuza sisters in pink,

Bratva boys can't even think

Sinaloa sisters can't smuggle

A pizza past the house mom's juggle

Triads run a bake sale,

But launder the cookie dough, fail!

Chorus

We're the Alpha Beta Kappas,

Mobsters in mascara,

Cartel queens in Lilly prints,

Throwing shade and throwing hints

Gambino girls "whack" their GPA,

Bratva bros pull hammies every day

Yakuza boys' tattoos?

All temporary, nothing new!

Verse 2

Triad twins on TikTok,

Sinaloa snaps in the hall,

Cosa Nostra at the mixer,

But nobody remembers it all

Medellin's idea of a hit?

Dropping the aux at formal, that's it

Genovese girls run rackets,

But only for tennis brackets!

Roast Verse

Whose bright idea was it,

To stop putting drugs in the drugs?

Now our parties are just LaCroix,

And awkward shrugs and chugs

The only thing thugs really are?

They thug it out through way too many snugs,

Like, literally, they can't detach,

Squeezing tight in a cuddle match!

Pledge week's a trauma marathon,

Mixer disasters every week,

Daddy's money runs the show,

But can't buy cool or mystique

We fake philanthropy for clout,

Pretend to care, then ghost,

And every time we "study,"

It's just gossip and a toast.

So here's to Greek life legends,

With secrets, scandals, shrugs-

But next time, let's remember

To put the drugs in the drugs!

Bridge

The only "cartel" we run

Is group Uber rides for fun

"Making you an offer you can't refuse"-

Just a Venmo request for booze

Our "front" is the lemonade stand,

During philanthropy week, oh so bland

The "underboss" forgot his laundry,

Now he's just feeling all groggy!

Chorus

We're the Alpha Beta Kappas,

Mobsters in mascara,

Cartel queens in Lilly prints,

Throwing shade and throwing hints

Cosa Nostra can't keep a secret,

Unless it's the WiFi, don't leak it!

Medellin's big heist tonight?

Just sneaking snacks in the fridge light!

Outro

From Medellin to Genovese,

We're extra, wild, and loud,

Sorority girls and mafia names,

Forever basic and proud!

Ny vagina just CA E clean it H ME

🎶

"I Just Can't Wait to Be Kingpin"

(Parody of The Lion King's "I Just Can't Wait to Be King")

I'm gonna be a mighty boss,

So enemies beware!

But every time the badges flash,

We're halfway out the lair!

I'm brushing up on hustling,

I'm working on my rep—

But when the sirens start to wail,

We're tripping over each other to step!

No one saying, "Stand your ground!"

When the cops are rolling through—

No one daring, "Hold your turf!"

We're all like, "Yes, sir, right away, thank you!"

It's our cartel coronation,

But here's the funniest thing:

We talk a big, bad game—

But we bend over for every badge and bling!

Oh, I just can't wait to be Kingpin!

(But only if the coast is clear and there's not a badge in sight…)

🎶

Joe tell my kid wow 😯 I'm shocked

I've been lied to and tortured with whatever BS they call it that forces me to hear dub Smash and dickhole and I refuse to waste my time til someone gets off their lazy rapist hi joe santagato ass and helps!

🎶

"Cycle of Abuse"

(Parody of The Lion King's "Circle of Life")

From the moment we're hurt

And the pain goes unspoken,

We learn how to hide

Every scar, every token.

It's the fear, it's the shame,

It's the silence that binds us—

And the wounds that remain

Are the chains that confine us.

It's the cycle of abuse,

And it spins through the ages,

From the words and the blows

To the anger that rages.

Till we break, till we heal,

Till we find a solution—

We're all caught in the wheel

Of this sad revolution.

It's the cycle,

The cycle of abuse.

🎶

🎶

(Parody of Scar's "Be Prepared")

It's time you face the music for what you've done,

I've got it all recorded—your lies on the run.

I've already won, though I've lost faith in you,

Every goddamn buddy who never came through.

But don't expect me to turn into your beast,

I'm ready to fight, but I won't be unleashed.

I'm standing my ground with truth in my hand,

So be prepared—for justice to land.

No more silence, no more fear,

The reckoning's coming, and it's crystal clear.

You thought you'd break me, but I'm still here—

Be prepared, abusers, your end is near.

🎶

🎶

"haiku from ma TA I'm gonna school you on why catels only fight over bore ri t os!"

(To the tune of "Hakuna Matata")

Haiku from ma TA,

I'm gonna school you—

On why cartels only fight over bore-ri-tos!

It's not about drama,

Or flashy bravado,

It's all about turf,

That's the only motto!

You think it's for glory,

Or riches untold,

But it's just about borders—

That's how the story's sold.

So here's my haiku,

From your teaching assistant:

Cartels crave turf wars,

Borders are the only cause—

Bore-ri-tos, persistent!

Haiku from ma TA,

Lesson's done, now you know—

Why cartels only fight

Over bore-ri-tos!

🎶

🎶

"Can You Feel the Love Tonight? (I Sure the Heck Hope Not)"

(To the tune of "Can You Feel the Love Tonight")

Can you feel the love tonight?

I sure the heck hope not,

'Cause all I see is jealousy,

And drama that you've brought.

Your men keep staring at my house,

But girl, don't act so shocked—

You're the ones who sold it first,

Then wonder why they flock.

You b**** and moan about the looks,

Like it's some big surprise,

But maybe if you stopped the deal,

You'd cut down on these eyes.

So quit complaining, own your part,

Stop acting so confused—

You sell it out, then cry about

The men you've all abused.

That ain't love, that ain't respect,

It's just a twisted game—

So save your tears, save your breath,

And don't put me to shame.

🎶

🎶

"Would You Kindly Ask Him"

(To the tune of "You've Got a Friend in Me")

You've got a man who's staring,

Right there at my place,

And honestly, it's kinda weird,

So could you save me face?

Would you kindly ask him,

To please remove himself?

'Cause all this sneaky looking,

Is bad for my mental health!

You sold him what he's watching,

So don't act all surprised,

If you don't want him gawking,

Stop feeding those eyes!

Would you kindly ask him,

To please remove himself?

I'm just trying to live my life,

Without a side of stealth!

So here's a little message,

Wrapped up in a song,

Let's keep it cool and easy,

And just move along!

Would you kindly ask him,

To please remove himself?

That's the only favor,

That I'm asking for myself!

🎶

"He's Gone (A Bit Bitter)"

(To the tune of "Woody's Gone" — spoken word over a somber, slow melody)

You took what you wanted,

Left me silent and small,

But one night I found courage

To even the score, once and for all.

Now you're a little bit bitter,

Guess you're missing a piece,

You made sure I'd pay for it—

No smile, no peace.

But if you're asking me now,

If I'd do it again,

Well, it cost me my teeth,

But I'd still call it a win.

"I Need a Buzz"

(To the energetic spirit of the "Buzz" instrumental)

There's a chip in my hip and it's making me twitch,

Some joker with gadgets just flipped on the switch.

He's got all the toys, but none of the tact—

If I could, I'd return him, no gift receipt attached!

He sits in the pews, acting holy and neat,

But he's playing with buttons right under the seat.

So if you see me shiver, don't think it's because—

Of the Spirit, my friend, it's just government fuzz!

Now Woody's the problem, he's causing a fuss—

That's why, in this toy box, I really need a Buzz!

So next time you wonder why I'm humming along,

It's not the choir—just my personal song.

If life gives you Woodys and church boys who snooze,

You might need a Buzz, just to get through the blues!

🎶

"Not Infinity and Beyond"

(To the tune and rhythm inspired by "Infinity and Beyond")

You said our love would never end,

A story that would never bend,

But baby, I gotta say, I'm kinda torn—

You run Tesla, not infinity, not infinity!

I can't believe you thought this ride,

Would last forever, side by side,

But love's not a never-ending story,

It's got a start, a middle, and sometimes, a glory.

So don't promise me the stars above,

When all you give is a fleeting shove—

I'm reaching for more than just a trend,

'Cause Tesla's fast, but love's not pretend!

And I cannot believe you thought,

This would be the never-ending story,

Love, you run Tesla, not infinity,

Not infinity, no infinity!

And in the end, when I look around,

You took our spark and ran it into the ground.

🎶

!

🎶

"It's Time to Melt, Sid"

(To the mischievous, comic energy of Sid's theme)

You're a Sid in every story,

Whether toys or ancient snow,

A man-child on a rampage,

Wherever you may go.

Like Sid the Sloth from Ice Age,

You stumble, trip, and fall,

But instead of melting hearts,

You just annoy us all.

It's time to face the sunshine,

Let the ice around you melt—

'Cause from what I hear, my dear,

Even your must is starting to melt!

So whether you're smashing toys

Or slipping on the ice,

Grow up, clean up your act—

A little change would be nice!

🎶

A.N.G.E.R.E.D. R.H.I.N.O.S.

(A parody inspired by "Angered Rhinos" and Fast & Furious vibes)

Are you ready?

Not just saying "hi,"

Get out the way,

Everyone's fly.

Racing through the wild,

Eyes on the prize,

Don't underestimate,

Rhinos on the rise!

Run fast, run furious?

Ha! You thought you were tough?

In this game of speed,

Not enough!

Our horns are sharper,

So watch us go—

Faster and furious,

More than you know!

Bonus Verse (Fast & Curious)

You thought you were furious,

But maybe just curious,

'Cause kitty cats are pissed,

And we're way more serious.

We stomp, we charge,

We don't play nice,

Faster and furious,

We own the ice!

🎶

"Humans / Diego (But D Isn't Going Anywhere)"

(To the dramatic, adventurous mood of the original)

Humans on the move,

Diego's in the lead,

But here's the twist you didn't see—

D isn't going anywhere, indeed!

You can call for backup,

You can try to chase,

But like Dora, we just do the "ra" thing—

We're winning this race.

Forget about the melting,

Forget the shifting ice,

We've got air rights, baby,

And that's worth any price.

So while you're slipping, sliding,

Trying to keep your cool,

We're soaring up above it all—

That's the ultimate rule.

D's not leaving,

He's here to stay,

With "ra" in our pocket,

We're flying our own way!

🎶

🎶

"The Ice Age Adventures of Bambi Musk"

(To the adventurous, zany spirit of Buck Wild)

Out in the wild, where the mammoths roam,

Comes a techy little deer who's far from home.

Elon's got ideas, but he's lost in the trees,

More Bambi than Buck, blown away by the breeze.

He's tweeting and scheming, but missing the mark,

Wanders off the path when it gets a little dark.

If survival's the game, he's not leading the herd—

Just a fawn in the headlights, looking awkward and absurd.

It's a jungle out here, you need teeth and some pluck,

But this Bambi Musk's luck is just running amok.

Should've learned from the forest—listen to your mother,

'Cause in Ice Age adventures, you won't find another!

He's nobody's uncle,

He's nobody's dad,

Just a big fat joke,

And that's really sad.

A disgusting piece of crap,

No respect to be had,

Try to play the hero,

But he's just a fad.

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Jodi Miller vs Jodi Arias: Good Job vs Good Jop!! PR OB Limb v Limp Roast

Felicia Sos Dvhithed here, your not-so-new boss with a 39-year story full of unexpected twists and turns, and I've got something to say. Jodi Miller just crushed AGT with one of her best bits yet—talking about how men are like cats, with their moody, aloof, emotionally unavailable selves, while women are like dogs, loyal and eternally up in your business. Brings to mind my own life's hilarious episodes—like when my dog finally hit puberty, and his dick bled once, and suddenly he's got a PhD in mood swings and has become a certified bitch for life! But let's face it, when it comes to drama, men are the genuine drama queens. They switch from "I wanna bag her" to "put her in one" quicker than you can say doghouse, or faster than my dog can chase his own tail.

Then the script flips and suddenly I'm the no-trial fugitive—minus the whiny part. Once told my ex, and I'm damn proud of it, "No Area 51, my kids' buns are just off-limits!". Sure, I'm aware of what a total cunt I can be in the process. Is it time to escalate to an AK, or do we keep things light? Nah, not without a blue wall accompaniment and a public lynching to complete the imagery. And you still wonder why someone like Jodi Arias has her own fan club? Because in today's world, drama not only gets you followers but manages to rack up new felonies along the way, doesn't it?

And on to Joe Santagato—we've all coped with stupidity before, right? Let me shed some light: limp or limb, either one works for me. Swing me, bitch! Here's looking at you, #joesantagato. Have you rated DJ Sammy yet or something about a quick ear, and your vagina quickly about to be Vin—whatever that is—no one's here to tell your face! Let's get real now. #cartel Yeah, me and he's not why—and why do you mix it all up with whinny bitch time?

So Jodi Miller gets no "X," an unmarked talent who does the right thing, while Jodi Arias gets a permanent mark for doing what a part of society bizarrely wishes they had the guts to do. And let's not be shocked by the outcome when a blind douche tumbles his way toward Arias—just don't be confused when reality hits, and it will be hitting harder than expected.

And now, "good job" or "good jop"? Whether you play it straight or give Santa's gift to dyslexia a stage, both affirm you did something right. It's like leaving a mark, whether it turns into applause, a mugshot, or a hell of a punchline—impact remains.

#dipshits #wtf

Locked up you say? Spare me. The only cell you're in is the one you meticulously crafted out of your stupidity. Here I am, a woman with a background in primary education, listening to you whine about being targets, with you clinging so desperately to make comfortable habitat behind bars, willing to take the fall for top-tier agency crimes just to avoid the updrafts of real life. MKUltra didn't demolish you; let's be honest—you signed up as the puppet for a massive dick too timid to swim upstream. Not everyone gets caught in the undertows—but you, you're hellbent on sinking along with every foolish decision you embrace.

Cartel play now, really? What on earth makes you think you're a badass? Standing down for 360 years for a murder you didn't even commit isn't justice or "flipping the tables," it's you being played—a pawn on this grand board. Genius, you think, eh? Can you not fucking read?! Drew Lynch as GPS would be a better guide—turn the hell around! You're not as ingenious as you imagine; the deep roll doesn't camouflage your brain drain. Like cartels, you target nobody yet everybody—bluster but no backbone.

And let's chat about the encounter with a CIA preyed-on fake cartel crafted just for a NY CA hit setup—set fuck no! Violated, standards flop up, down, and oscillate dramatically with zero merit leveling out!!

As for embracing my hoe phase—a choice, thought it was. Small town, flat broke, owned the hell out of it. When my pussy finally conveyed the reality, realized how damn nice it felt. And then you Xis went and undeniably fucked it up! WTF, right?

Here, we ought to consider consent thoroughly: forced? is not, can never be, consent. "Two-for-one" confusion deserves no place in this dialogue. Con$ent stands on shaky legs if slow-witted blokes supply spare change to buy faux

#jodimiller #JodiArias

I don't like your man staring at my ass either but if you quit selling it it might help..... Hi I'm it lol

Jackson and 04 btw RFID covered in my hip scan one find all nuns

I'm being hit above and below with emps he turned my badge into a human vibrator it's like the ugly Truth scene but with a fat kid in an ugly ass attitude problems he's too scared to do it to my face I earned every card they share the jack of diamonds that's it by the way currently at this moment

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Sharrc tunnels beRT A swap sb reveres witch AMerICA bitch lol

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