I stare at Sabrina's text, the casual "Uhhhh heyy... you haha..." glowing on my screen like some alien hieroglyphic I'm supposed to decipher. My brain, still spinning from the nuclear bomb that just went off in my life, can't process something so mundane as a girl texting me. It's like getting a paper cut while your leg's being amputated, technically it's still pain, but the scale is so wildly different it's almost laughable.
My hands are still shaking on the steering wheel, but somehow, this absurdly awkward text message is like a splash of cold water, pulling me back from the edge of total meltdown.
I type back a simple "hey" because what else can I possibly say? My life is imploding, I just found out my mother is an escort, I had sex with her last night, and oh yeah, I came inside her. But sure, let's chat about whatever normal college shit Sabrina wants to discuss.
My phone buzzes almost immediately. She's sent a gif of an Eevee sitting up, panting with its tongue out.
"What the fuck?" I text back, genuinely confused.
"fuck no, sorry, I misclicked," comes her rapid reply, followed immediately by... the exact same Eevee gif again.
Despite everything, despite the fact that my world is crumbling around me, I actually laugh. It's a broken, slightly manic sound that echoes in my car, but it's still laughter. For a second, I'm not the guy who fucked his mom, I'm just some dude getting weird texts from a cute girl.
"Oh Jesus Christ," Sabrina texts, and I can practically see her mortified face. "do you have classes today?"
I glance at the time. Even if I did have class, there's no way in hell I could sit through a lecture right now. "no."
"do you want to grab grub," she asks, and something in my chest loosens just a fraction.
"yes, please," I type back, surprising myself with how desperately I mean it. Food, normalcy, a person who doesn't know my fucked-up secret, I've never wanted anything more in my life.
Maybe for a few hours, I can pretend to be someone else. Someone whose biggest problem is figuring out what to say to a pretty girl, not wrestling with the knowledge that he's living in a Greek tragedy of his own making.
My phone pings with Sabrina's response, a dropped pin for a Burger King right by campus.
What kind of girl just suggests Burger King?
But I don't say any of that. I just put the car in drive and head over, following my GPS like it's guiding me to salvation instead of cheap hamburgers.
When I pull into the parking lot, I spot her right away. She's standing outside the entrance, drowning in an oversized black zip-up hoodie with the hood pulled up, despite the fact that it's gotta be at least 75 degrees. Her head is bent down, thumbs flying across her phone screen like she's trying to break a world record for fastest texting.
I approach quietly, not wanting to be weird about it. "Hey," I say, my voice coming out softer than intended.
"JESUS!" She jumps like I just fired a gun next to her ear, nearly dropping her phone. Her wide eyes find mine as she yanks her hood down. "Oh! Hey, Gabe," she stammers, shoving her phone into her pocket with nervous energy. "You, uh, you startled me."
Up close, I can see dark circles under her eyes, like she hasn't slept much either. Her short black hair is sticking up at odd angles, giving her this adorable bedhead look that somehow makes me feel slightly more human.
"Sorry," I mumble, suddenly unsure what to do with my hands. "Didn't mean to sneak up on you."
"No, it's fine, I was just..." She gestures vaguely at nothing, then lets her hand drop. "I get really focused sometimes. Like tunnel vision. I think I'm just easily startled because I spend too much time in my own head, you know?"
The words tumble out of her in that rambling way I remember from yesterday, and something in my chest loosens a fraction more. There's something comforting about her nervousness, like we're both disasters in our own special ways.
"Yeah, I get that," I say, and I actually mean it. "My head's not a fun place to be right now either."
Her expression softens with concern. "Bad morning?"
I almost laugh at the understatement. "You could say that."
She studies my face for a moment, then nods decisively. "You look like you need a whopper." She hooks her arm through mine with surprising confidence, pulling me toward the entrance. "Come on. I'm buying."
"No, that's okay. I can pay for myself," I say, pulling my arm back and reaching for my wallet. "I'm not completely broke."
Sabrina's face scrunches up as she plants herself between me and the counter. "Nah, bro, I got this on John Locke," she says with absolute conviction like that's supposed to mean something.
"On... what?" I shake my head, completely lost.
She ignores my question as I follow her to the counter, where she approaches the teenage cashier with surprising confidence.
"Hi, can I get four Whoppers with fries and two waters, please?" she says, pulling out her card.
I blink in surprise. "Four?"
She doesn't even glance back at me, just hands over her card like ordering enough food for a small family is completely normal. The cashier doesn't bat an eye either, just takes her payment and hands her the receipt.
I stand there awkwardly, watching this tiny girl pay for what seems like an obscene amount of food. Is she expecting more people? Did I miss something? My hangover-addled brain struggles to keep up as we move to the side to wait for our order.
When the food arrives, Sabrina grabs the tray and marches toward a corner booth like she's on a mission. I trail behind her, still feeling like I'm in some weird alternate reality where nothing makes sense anymore.
We slide into the booth, and she immediately unwraps one of the Whoppers, taking a massive bite that somehow fits in her small mouth. I stare, fascinated despite myself.
"Aren't you going to eat?" she asks around her mouthful, gesturing to the three remaining burgers.
"Oh, these are all for us?" I ask, finally cluing in. "I thought maybe you were expecting other people."
She swallows and laughs, a genuine sound that makes the corners of her eyes crinkle. "No, dude. Two for you, two for me. I'm fucking starving."
I unwrap one of the burgers, suddenly aware of how hungry I actually am. The smell of grilled meat and onions makes my stomach growl embarrassingly loud. I take a bite, and it's like heaven exploding in my mouth. I didn't realize how much I needed this simple, greasy, uncomplicated food.
"So what's got you looking like someone ran over your cat?" Sabrina asks through a mouthful of burger, mayo dotting the corner of her mouth. She stares at me with her tired eyes, somehow managing to look both concerned and completely ridiculous, with her cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk's.
I nearly choke on my bite. How the hell do I answer that? 'Oh, nothing much, just discovered my mom's a prostitute and I accidentally lost my virginity to her last night'? Yeah, that would go over great.
"Just... family stuff," I manage after swallowing. "It's complicated."
Sabrina nods, her expression softening into something genuinely sympathetic. She swallows her massive bite and wipes her mouth with a napkin.
"That's rough. I'm sorry to hear that," she says, her voice gentler than before. "Family stuff can be intense."
I take another bite of my burger, grateful for the brief reprieve from thinking about Mom. The greasy food is somehow grounding me, pulling me back from the edge of total meltdown.
"What about you?" I ask, desperate to keep the conversation away from my catastrophe of a life. "Bad morning, too? You look pretty tired."
"Uhhh..." She suddenly becomes very interested in rearranging her fries, avoiding eye contact. "You know, normal stuff."
"You can tell me," I say, surprising myself with how much I actually want to hear about her problems instead of dwelling on mine. "I mean, if you want to."
She looks down at the table, her cheeks flushing dark against her ebony skin. "It's, um... bean related."
"What?" I blink, completely lost.
"Bean flicking related," she mumbles so quietly I almost miss it.
It takes my brain a second to process what she's saying, and when it clicks, I feel my own face heating up. "Oh. OH."
She looks mortified, chewing her fries with the determination of someone who might die if they stop. I should probably be embarrassed too, but I just cant muster the strength.
"So..." I clear my throat, trying not to smile. "You stayed up all night... with beans?" I joke.
Sabrina shoots me a look that's equal parts annoyed and amused. Her eyebrows knit together as she swallows her mouthful of fries.
"Ugh, don't be weird about it," she groans, but there's no real bite to her words. "Some new... content... dropped last night from this artist I follow. And what was I supposed to do? Just go to sleep knowing it was sitting there waiting for me? NO." She throws her hands up dramatically. "GOD FORBID WANTS TO GOON, GABE!"
I can't help but laugh at how shamelessly she's admitting to this.
"I'm happy you stayed up all night gooning. Makes me feel less weird about my own shit."
She laughs a bright sound that momentarily drowns out the chaos in my head. Then she fans herself dramatically with her hand.
"Fuck, it's hot in here," she says, glancing around the nearly empty Burger King. "These places are always like saunas."
Before I can respond, she grabs the zipper of her hoodie and pulls it down in one swift motion. My mind goes blank when I realize she's completely topless underneath. For one breathtaking moment, I see everything, her full, round breasts with nipples, a deep, rich brown against her beautiful ebony skin. They're perfect, hanging free and unrestrained, catching the fluorescent light in a way that makes my mouth go dry.
My body reacts before my brain can catch up, lunging across the table and yanking her zipper back up so fast I nearly catch her skin in it. I'm pretty sure my heart just exploded.
"Oh my fucking god!" Sabrina gasps, her eyes wider than I thought humanly possible. Her hands fly to her now-covered chest, horror dawning on her face as she realizes what just happened.
"Hey, it's okay," I stammer, glancing around frantically to make sure no one else saw. Thankfully, the few other customers are either absorbed in their phones or facing away from us. "Nobody saw. We're good."
Sabrina's face has transformed into a mask of pure mortification. Even through her dark complexion, I can see the flush spreading across her cheeks and down her neck. Her hands are still clutching the zipper like it might spontaneously open again if she lets go.
"I think I'm going to die, Gabe," she whispers, sinking lower in her seat until only her eyes are visible above the table. "I just flashed my only friend at school. I literally just met you yesterday, and now you've seen my tits. I want the floor to open up and swallow me whole."
I can't help but laugh, not at her embarrassment but at the absurdity of the situation.
"Listen, if it makes you feel any better, I didn't really see anything," I lie, trying to ease her mortification. "It was too quick."
"Bullshit," she groans, peeking up from her slouched position. "I saw your face. You saw everything."
"Fine," I admit, lowering my voice. "I saw. But seriously, it's not a big deal. These things happen."
Sabrina gives me a look of pure disbelief. "These things don't just happen, Gabe. Normal people don't accidentally strip in Burger King!"
"Look, you were hot, you forgot what you were wearing, and you unzipped. It's embarrassing, but it's not the end of the world." I push the second Whopper toward her. "Here, stress eat. It helps."
She eyes the burger suspiciously before grabbing it, unwrapping it with the determination of someone who's decided food might actually be the answer to their problems.
"I can't believe this," she mutters before taking another massive bite. "I was up all night getting off to anime boys, and now I'm flashing real boys at fast food restaurants. My therapist is going to have a field day with this."
I nearly choke on my soda. "You tell your therapist about your... bean activities?"
"Of course I do," she says, looking genuinely confused by my question. "That's what therapy is for. Telling someone about all the weird shit you do."
I can't help but burst out laughing, shaking my head at this absolute hurricane of a human sitting across from me. "Sabrina, you're such a fucking mess, dude."
Her smile falters immediately, vulnerability flashing across her face. She sets down her burger, fingers fidgeting with the wrapper.
"Please don't stop being my friend," she says quietly, eyes dropping to the table. "I know I'm weird, and I overshare, and I accidentally flashed you, but I really like hanging out with you."
Something warm unfurls in my chest, cutting through the chaos of everything else.
"I'm not going anywhere," I tell her, surprising myself with how much I mean it. "Trust me, you'd have to try a lot harder than accidental nudity to scare me off."
Her shoulders visibly relax, relief washing over her face.
"Besides," I add, trying to lighten the mood, "my life is such a spectacular dumpster fire right now that your accidental flash barely registers."
Sabrina tilts her head, studying me with those dark, perceptive eyes. Then, she dramatically clutches her chest through her zipped-up hoodie.
"So what you're saying is my amazing rack wasn't even enough to make you feel better?" She grins mischievously. "I'm offended, Gabe. These are premium goods I accidentally displayed. Most guys would be cheered up for weeks."
My face burns hot enough to fry an egg as I sputter on my soda. "That's not what I…"
"I'm kidding!" She laughs, reaching across to pat my hand. "Though your face is currently the color of ketchup, which is adorable."
I duck my head, unable to meet her eyes.
"For what it's worth," I manage to say, "they were very cool."
"Thanks, Gabe. Girls love compliments like that."