Flashback—Months Ago
Kieran wasn't sure when it started.
Maybe it was the day he let Caelum pick the music in his car, even though he hated anyone touching his radio. Maybe it was the time Caelum showed up at his office with lunch, claiming he "accidentally ordered too much food," even though Kieran knew damn well he never ate lunch.
Or maybe it was nights like this.
Kieran sat on the couch, laptop balanced on his legs, pretending to work. He was doing nothing. Across from him, Caelum was sprawled out, half-asleep, humming a tune under his breath.
"You hum when you're tired," Kieran said suddenly.
Caelum cracked one eye open. "And you stare when you're distracted."
Kieran clicked his laptop shut. He wasn't distracted. He was just… used to this now. Caelum being here, by his side every day. He loved it. They both did.
He didn't think about it much.
Until now.
Kieran stared at his phone. "See you soon, my love."
It was too normal. Too final.
Caelum wasn't here anymore.
And for the first time in months, Kieran felt completely, utterly alone. But he kept awaiting his return.
It was midnight. Where could he have gone? Kieran texts him back, "When are you coming back to me?" He's more open now. He needs his Caelum. He was a part of him now.
"I won't take long, my sweet," he said. That's what he said.
He lied. Kieran, crying at his desk, the workers shocked. He was openly missing him when Caelum runs in with chocolate.
"I remember you saying you liked these," and Caelum smiles. "You bastard!" Tears rolled down Kieran's cheeks. He hadn't been alone for so long. He was gone for a whole month. Caelum hugged his love. He wasn't just his boss anymore.
He sits on the table and plays with Kieran's hair while he works—
"Get down from the table, darling," Kieran told him as he adjusted his glasses.
"Darling?" Caelum says with his eyes wide open. "We're lovers now?"
Kieran replies, "You don't want to be?" Of course he does. He had been dreaming day and night for when they become lovers. Now the boss, the love of his life, was finally his. Life finally complete for him, and he loved every single bit of it.
Caelum shuts his laptop and leans in for a kiss. He's his lover now, right? It was worth a shot. Kieran doesn't disagree, and they kiss. It is warm. The tension rises as they look each other in the eyes. "After work," Kieran says, but he notices an open wound. Caelum had a terrible injury on his wrist, and he simply pulled his sleeve over it. Kieran scolds him immediately while getting a bandaid. Kieran was getting used to seeing Caelum leave and come back with wounds.
They get home. They had fully started living together. They enjoyed each other's company. They were inseparable now.
Kieran cooks, and Caelum watches from behind, clinging on to his body like they were one. "Give me breathing space," Kieran said while playfully pushing him away, and Caelum doesn't budge. He kept squeaking, "No," and they had dinner again. Life was going great. Just as it should.
Kieran now makes effort to finish work at the office so he can spend time with Caelum more and know about his day. There was no work left, so Kieran jumps on the bed — shirtless and magnificent, glowing under the moonlight. Caelum still looks surprised every time he's shirtless. Kieran asks about his day, and he replies, "You were in it all through. What do you want to know?" while smirking.
"Everything. I want to know everything," Kieran said while pouting.
"I'll be gone for a little longer, and it'll be the last. Once I'm back, I'll tell you everything, and we'll spend the rest of our lives together," Caelum replies while tearing up.
Why's he crying? What's happening? Are these tears of joy? He still can't read Caelum, but he was smiling, so he assumed he was just happy to spend eternity with him, and they went to bed in each other's arms.
Caelum wakes Kieran up while he leaves this time. "Wake up and get dressed, my love. I already prepared breakfast to go."
They kissed good morning, and Kieran prepared for work.
"I won't be home for a while. Don't miss me too much. I'll be back before you know it." But he was humming. He hums when he's tired, Kieran thought. Rather than questioning his partner, he said nothing.
Kieran drives today so Caelum can rest a bit. He needed it.
They hold hands and walk into the office. He kissed his head and said goodbye — "Be good while I'm gone, okay, love?" Kieran nodded, already thinking about his return in a week. But something about this goodbye felt final. Caelum kept crying in-between.
"You're crying again," Kieran said, brushing his thumb across Caelum's cheeks.
"Because I love you," he said. His smile was weak.
Then why does it feel like your goodbye?
He didn't come in a week or in a month. It was almost a year.
Kieran became an emotional wreck, back to how he originally was. A broken child who was abandoned once more. He became grumpy. He wasn't taking care of himself anymore. He wasn't eating anymore, but when he does, he still set the table for two. Still bought Caelum's favorite snacks. Still checked his phone every five minutes.
The apartment felt haunted — not by ghosts, but by the unbearable absence of the man who once filled it.
He kept crying himself to sleep and crying himself up. In his dreams, he feels Caelum's warmth and feels it slowly fading away. Caelum had called, saying he lost his phone and it won't matter anymore because he's coming back soon. Why wasn't he back yet? "It's almost the holidays," Kieran muttered under his breath, wailing on his bed. How was life before Caelum came into it? He can't remember. He has been in his life for too long. "How'll I move on?" he cries bitterly. He just wants his Caelum. He needed him.
He's at the office. His hair was a mess. He hasn't cut his hair for so long. He wanted to be met how he was left. Abandoned.
Kieran's phone rings. He rushed to answer it without looking at the number or anything. He hadn't gotten any calls in months. He sighs in relief. "Babe, why didn't you call for so—"
"Is this Mr. Kieran?"
The voice was cold, unfamiliar.
"Yes, that's me. Who is this?" Kieran's pulse quickened.
A pause. Too long. His fingers gripped the phone tighter.
"Sir, we need you at the hospital…"
His stomach twisted. His mind screamed no before he even heard the rest.
"...to identify a body."
Caelum is dead. Life was over. His love was gone.