Chapter 2 – "Gacha Hell is Real, Even in Death"
Leon stared hungrily at the glowing, cosmic wheel. Seven spins. Seven shots at glory, power, and the chance to avoid becoming monster chow in his next life.
"Alright," he muttered, focusing his non-existent energy. "Spin number one. Let's go!"
The wheel turned, colors blending into hypnotic swirls. With a flash, the first slot stopped, lighting up with a gentle green glow.
Leon's imaginary heart sank.
[Reward: Rare-ranked Treasure – Spoon of Infinite Soup]
"Excuse me?" Leon sputtered.
"A useful item," the entity said, utterly deadpan. "Generates endless soup."
"Great," Leon groaned. "I'll fight demons with infinite chicken noodles."
The cosmic being ignored him. "Second spin commencing."
The wheel spun again, landing this time on a slightly more reassuring blue glow.
[Reward: Uncommon-ranked Treasure – Cloak of Mild Invisibility]
Leon brightened slightly. "Invisibility sounds cool."
"Mild invisibility," the entity clarified. "Only works when nobody's looking."
Leon's optimism shattered like glass. "That's literally useless!"
"Perspective matters, young mortal," the entity chided. "Again."
Third spin. Another lackluster green flash.
[Reward: Common-ranked Treasure – Boots of Slight Comfort]
Leon mentally screamed. "Are you mocking me?"
"No," the being said, almost convincingly. "Comfortable footwear prevents blisters."
"Oh sure, because blisters are the real threat in a world of magic and monsters."
"Spin again," the being sighed.
Fourth spin. The wheel halted on a brilliant violet radiance.
Leon's nonexistent jaw dropped.
[Reward: Legendary-ranked Treasure – Orb of All-Elemental Affinity]
Leon's mind went blank. "What does that even mean?"
"It grants you natural affinity and resistance to all known elements," the entity explained reluctantly, clearly regretting the loss. "Fire, water, earth, wind, light, darkness, and everything in between."
That was a treasure even he himself wasn't able to use. Despite its rank being low, he didn't sell it or exchange it, hoping one day he would be able to merge with it, but it seemed fate had other plans.
Leon did a mental victory dance. "Now that's what I call plot armor!"
The being grumbled audibly. "You still have spins remaining."
Fifth spin. Another dazzling violet flash erupted.
[Reward: Mythic-ranked Treasure – Dimensional Hourglass]
Leon stared. "Hourglass?"
The cosmic being audibly groaned, sounding genuinely aggrieved for the first time. As great as the orb was, it wouldn't give affinity at the rank that would have likely been needed, and having all affinities wasn't that appealing to him. "A dimension separate from reality. Inside, time flows one thousand times slower. A treasure nearly matching my realm's temporal distortions."
Leon paused. "So… it's like infinite study time?"
"Or infinite napping," the entity muttered bitterly. "Two more spins."
The sixth spin landed on a deep silver glow.
[Reward: Rare-ranked Treasure – Ring of Minor Regeneration]
"Regeneration?!" Leon perked up again.
"Minor," the entity emphasized, enjoying this bit of payback. "Enough to heal scratches and bruises quickly. Don't expect regrowing limbs or surviving mortal wounds."
Leon sighed deeply, still grateful. "Better than soup spoons, I suppose."
The being chuckled dryly. "Final spin. Make it count."
The wheel spun dramatically, coming to a rest with a resounding cosmic chime.
A bright golden glow lit the final slot.
[Reward: Epic-ranked Treasure – Blade of Convenient Sharpness]
Leon's nonexistent eyes narrowed. "Convenient…?"
"A weapon whose sharpness adjusts conveniently. Dull when sheathed, razor-sharp when drawn."
Leon considered. "Okay, actually not bad."
"Indeed," the entity conceded, sounding relieved it was over. "May your luck serve you well, mortal."
Leon mentally bowed. "I'll make good use of the infinite soup, at least."
The entity's mask shifted into something like a weary grimace. "Your next life awaits, gacha-addict. Use these treasures wisely—or foolishly. The choice is yours."
With that, the realm spun, twisted, and faded around him. Leon was now ready to dive into a new world, armed with overpowered treasures, comfort boots, and far too much soup.
The wheel faded into glittering dust, drifting into the void like confetti at a funeral. Leon floated silently, clutching his imaginary inventory with the pride of a squirrel hoarding nuclear acorns.
"Alright," he muttered. "Not bad. Not great. But not bad."
The entity loomed above, arms folded—if those were even arms. "Satisfied?"
"Mostly. I'm just praying the infinite soup isn't the peak of my power arc."
"There are realms where that spoon could start a religion," the being said darkly.
Leon blinked. "...Okay, now I kinda want to visit those."
The entity ignored that. "Now then. Prepare yourself. I shall reincarnate you into the world of Velaria."
Leon perked up. "Velaria? Cool name. Sounds fantasy. Got elves? Magic? Political drama with unnecessary shirtless duels?"
"Yes. And far worse," the entity said grimly. "You'll be reborn in the **Lower Domain of the Earthly Plane**. The lowest rung of the mortal ladder. Filthy, dangerous, merciless."
Leon squinted. "...So fantasy Detroit?"
"Worse."
"Oh."
"There, your treasures will not be recognized for what they are. Most will think of them as trinkets. You'll begin with nothing—no reputation, no backing, no noble blood."
Leon raised an eyebrow. "Wait. Don't I get to pick a race? Starting area? Respawn point? Maybe a cool scar?"
"No."
"...Wow. Harsh."
"You'll be born as a human commoner. Orphaned, of course. In a dirt-poor village plagued by beasts and bandits."
Leon winced. "That's a bit cliché."
"It is," the entity admitted. "But it keeps expectations low."
Leon nodded thoughtfully. "Fair. Good writing tactic."
"Your memories will return at age seven. Until then, you'll just be... a regular crying baby."
Leon looked genuinely horrified. "You're telling me I have to do the tutorial... as a literal infant?!"
"You'll live. Probably."
The being had already imagined if he died before that he would quickly retrieve his precious treasure, if not he wasn't fated for them to begin it.
"That was the most I would do," The being was still grumbling about the dimension of time it had lost. It had to give that one away, but its pride wouldn't let it say anything.
Leon sighed. "Fine. Let's get this over with."
The entity's form began to dissolve into starlight, its voice echoing one last time:
"Survive, Leon. Grow strong. And perhaps one day, you'll climb the realms... and reach the truth and perhaps even meet the real me."
The light swallowed everything.
The starlight thickened, wrapping around Leon like a cosmic burrito. Power crackled in the void, folding reality like laundry before a divine departure.
He could feel it—his soul pulling, unraveling, reforming, ready to dive headfirst into a world of swords, sorcery, and probably a lot of unpaid labor.
The voice echoed one final time, fading like the end of a dramatic trailer.
Leon's consciousness began to blur. His thoughts turned wobbly, stretchy like they were being squeezed through a celestial pasta maker.
But then—right before the transition, right before he slipped fully into the spiral of light—it hit him.
'Wait.'
'WAIT.'
'HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET THE TREASURES?!'
His thoughts screamed into the void, flailing in sheer existential panic.
'Do I get them in a chest?! Are they sealed in my soul?! Mailed to my crib like magical Amazon Prime?! I NEED LOGISTICS, DAMN IT!'
But it was too late.
The light had already claimed him.
Leon's soul plummeted into the new world, screaming all the way down—not from fear, but from sheer organizational anxiety.
'NO, I DIDN'T ASK ABOUT DELIVERYYYYYYYY—!'