[THEODORE'S POV]
I could barely contain my emotions as I watched them. Mom and uncle Alaric, all lost in their worlds, laughing and bonding.
What pained me most was that the person I wanted to look at me, did not look my way. Not even for once! Ever since he came back from his room, he has been acting cold towards me. Almost like he was purposely ignoring me.
I remembered the flames of hate in his eyes back then in front of his room, and I shuddered.
He was homophobic. Just like dad!
Having one family member as one is suffocating enough. But two? It's pure torture!
It feels kinda relieving that dad traveled to Crescent Bay City. He scares the hell out of me! Sometimes I even forget that he is my father. But now it is not only him that I have to fear. Uncle Alaric has joined too. My mate has joined.
I looked at my food, suddenly losing appetite. With the spoon in my hand, I lazily played with the food. With each fleeting second I spent watching uncle Jaime, my heart tightened painfully.
I knew it shouldn't be, that I shouldn't expect too much from people. But is it my fucking fault that I don't know how to?
I wished and prayed in my heart, hoping that he would look my way. Even if it was just for a second.
But he didn't. And it broke my heart the more.
Suddenly, the tears began to fall out and I shuddered, feeling the constant slice of pain on my chest.
I heard a small gasp and I raised my head, locking eyes with uncle Jaime.
"Dear, Selene! THEODORE!!" Mom shouted, sending her two bulging jasmine orbs in my direction.
She pushed her chair backward, her face painted with worry.
"Why are you crying, Theo? What is happening to you?" She inquired with a shaky voice.
I was managing my emotions a bit well until she asked. The moment she did, I pushed back my chair and stood. And as the tears fled from my eyes, I bolted from the dining, running to my room with deep hurt.
I pushed my door open and locked it. Then I crashed on the ground, releasing hot tears, unlocking my grief.
I know I shouldn't be feeling this way but I can't control it. No matter how I try to shove this feeling of disappointment off, it just kept clinging to me, refusing to go away.
"Selene why did you create me like this? Of all the whole weaknesses you deposited in men, why must mine be men? Why did you give me this disease! This curse!! This fucking virus!!" I muttered.
If it was lying, stealing, debauchery, fornication that I have as flaws, I'd gladly wear them like a coat without complaining much. At least it isn't something people would bully you for.
Everyday, Leon and his friends bully me. The whole school does. All for just being me!
If I was a girl, perhaps I would have been much more better. I would have been bolder to crush on anyone I like. But I can't. I have to hide my emotions, I have to constantly live a lie and keep dwelling in my shell of pretense.
Fate is really cruel! It is really evil. Selene… she knows the kind of dad I have, the kind of man uncle Alaric is. Yet, she still made us soul bound. A man who is a strong homophobe like my dad.
Maybe I'm truly cursed.
I heard loud knockings on my door.
"Theo! Theodore! Open up! Please open up!!" Mom's voice flew into my ears, her tone reflecting fear.
I lifted my gaze towards the locked door and I shouted. "Go away, mom! Please go away!"
"Please, Theo! Tell me, what's going on? Please!" She said with a cracked voice.
She was on the verge of tears. I knew she wanted to cry. I have always loved mom. We connect so deeply that outsiders sometimes mistakes us for siblings. She was my second bestie after Mila, my classmate.
But I couldn't bring myself to tell her that her only son is a lover of men. I couldn't tell her that the reason I'm crying is because her brother who is my mate, doesn't want me.
I heard a man speaking. It was him. Uncle Alaric. He was talking to mom outside my door, but I didn't bother to calm down and listen to what he was saying. Why should I? What's the point?
"You don't understand, Alaric. He has never cried before! I don't know what is wrong with him!" Mom kept wailing.
Tch!! That phrase… 'He has never cried before.'
If only she knew. If only she knew the scary number of times that I had wet my pillows at night after having a rough day at school, after being bullied and insulted, and tossed around like a smelly bag of feces. If only she knew quarter of the pain I suffer everyday.
When she sees me, she sees a perfectly normal son. But when the rest of the world sees me, they see a product of evil, an abnormal boy to prey on, an abomination that needs to be flushed.
"Theo!" She shouted. "Theodore please open up! I'm your mother! You can talk to me!"
Uncle Alaric started talking again, trying so hard to calm her down. "Listen to me, sis. Don't worry too much. Run along to the clinic. You're going to be late if you don't go on time. Your patients are waiting for you."
Her voice broke completely and she began to cry.
"Let them wait! I'm not leaving my son to go see anybody! I can't leave him in this state! He's my only son. I won't forgive myself if anything happens to him!" She shouted, wailing loudly.
Uncle Alaric's voice rang out again. This time, it was stern and controlling.
"Go, sis. I'll take care of everything. Theo will be fine."
Minutes later, I heard mom's car drive away from the compound and my cries lessened.
I knew leaving me was a tough decision for her. But for me, living was what was actually tough. I had been fighting battles ever since my puberty stage.
As the hiccups took its full cause, I heard a gentle knock on the door and his voice followed suit.
It was deep as usual. But somehow, it sounded soft like the sound of blues in my ears.
"Open the door, dear. Please let me in."