By breakfast the next morning, it wasn't just Slytherin that knew what happened to Fischer Frey.
The entire castle knew.
Rumors spread through Hogwarts faster than Peeves on a sugar high.
It started with whispers in the corridors, grew louder in the Great Hall, and by mid-morning had evolved into full reenactments—complete with students impersonating a feather-drenched Frey gagging in green mist while a rubber duck screamed "Twinkle Twinkle" in Goblin.
Naturally, no one could confirm exactly what had happened… but that hardly mattered.
Because when Hogwarts didn't know the truth, it made up something even better.
—
Version One:
Fischer Frey received a love letter from a mysterious seventh-year girl.
He dressed to impress for their secret meeting.
Instead, he was ambushed by a prank so brutal his hair still sparkled three days later.
Version Two:
Frey tried to trick Malinda Crew into a secret date.
She found out—and this was her revenge.
Version Three:
Malinda never liked him.
And it was her fan club of vengeful girls who launched Operation Slimeball to defend her honor.
By lunchtime, Version Three was winning by a landslide.
—
Cael walked into the Great Hall, plopped down at the Gryffindor table, and ordered himself a slice of cheddar cheese, some cake, and pumpkin juice. As he began to eat, the voice of his ever-annoying system rang in his head.
System: "That was satisfying to watch. But your prank could've been better. A prank's only truly successful when the victim cries. Aim higher next time."
Cael: "Well, that kind of upgrade requires materials. Materials require money. And I'm, in case you've forgotten, broke."
System: "Then find a way to earn money. So you can spend it on useful things. Like emotional destruction."
Cael: "Oh please. Other systems give their hosts instant strength, unlimited money, rare treasures… But what do I get? A glorified commentator with a superiority complex and zero perks."
System: "Tsk. Be grateful. If I wasn't around, you'd still be a Muggle being tortured by a PE teacher."
Cael: "Touché. But really, my only goal is to enjoy these seven magical years at Hogwarts. That's enough for me."
System: "Since when do you have goals? Up until yesterday, you were too scared to leave your comfort zone. Let me guess—the prank opened your eyes?"
Cael: "Something like that."
Cael took a sip of pumpkin juice—and nearly spat it back out.
At the Ravenclaw table, two fourth-years were chanting, "Frey wets the bed! Frey wets the bed!" while bouncing rubber ducks on their plates.
Over at Hufflepuff, someone had animated a parchment with a magical cartoon of Frey slipping on glitter and falling into a bucket labeled Twinkle Trap.
Even the Slytherins weren't immune. Though most tried to look above it all, Cael spotted more than a few first-years snickering behind goblets. One girl even muttered, "Serves him right," under her breath.
But nothing—nothing—could top the reaction at the Gryffindor table.
They were thriving.
Eating lunch like it had been seasoned with Slytherin misery.
Fred and George blended into the crowd, feigning innocent delight like they hadn't co-engineered the entire operation.
Lee Jordan was already selling parchment sketches of "The Incident," complete with glitter effects.
And Cael?
Cael was teetering between feeling like a criminal mastermind… and arguing with a morally questionable system.
🟦 SYSTEM REMINDER:
You are now morally indebted to:
– Justice (1)
– Malinda Crew (1)
– Possibly the duck (???)
Cael rolled his eyes and glanced around.
"Oi, Cael!" Fred called, grinning. "Heard you got Frey with a glitter bomb disguised as a love letter. Respect."
Cael choked on his toast. "Would you shut it? You want to get caught? Because if I go down, I'm dragging you three with me."
"I mean, wouldn't that be fun?" George chimed in from further down the table. "The best part of a prank is pulling it off. The second-best part is getting caught."
Cael raised an eyebrow. "Right. Go ahead. Reveal everything. Let's start a house war with Slytherin, why not."
Lee leaned in. "Honestly? Worth it i wanna see that day to come so i can at least jinx Marcus the troll myself ."
"Hey, guys—look at this," said Angelina Johnson, holding up a fresh issue of The Hogwarts Herald. She passed it to Cael with a grin.
The headline read in shimmering, dramatic ink:
"FREY'S GLITTERY HEARTBREAK — HOGWARTS STUNNED BY FEATHER FIASCO"
Angelina chuckled. "This has to be the work Weasley twins as the method are very similar to what they did last year ."
Cael smirked. "Technically, unless you're caught in the act, you're innocent."
—
At the center of all the chaos stood one very confused girl:
Malinda Crew.
Seventh-year. Ravenclaw. Glossy black curls, a calm aura, and an untouchable reputation.
Now: the alleged heartbreaker behind Frey's public humiliation.
As she entered the Great Hall, conversations died. Heads turned. A Hufflepuff boy dropped his goblet.
"…What?"
Whispers clung to her like shadows.
"That's her!"
"Malinda the Merciless!"
"She dumped Frey with glitter and Goblin karaoke!"
Someone actually stood up and applauded.
Malinda frowned, then sat beside her friend Delilah Greaves. "What in Merlin's name is going on?"
Delilah was shaking with laughter. "You… you haven't heard?"
"No, I haven't!"
Delilah pointed toward a second-year who was dramatically reenacting the glitter explosion. "Apparently, Frey tried to court you. You rejected him—with glitter and… a duck."
Malinda blinked. "Frey tried to court me? With a letter?"
Delilah nodded, wheezing with laughter. "Yup. And now they think you set the trap."
Malinda looked around the hall, taking in the spectacle. The stares. The rumors. The adoration.
She exhaled sharply through her nose.
"Thank Merlin," she muttered.
Then, to everyone's surprise, she smirked.
"Well," she said, cool and amused, "at least I don't have to deal with him pestering me anymore. Glitter suits him."
And with that, she turned gracefully back to her seat—hair flipping like a battle flag.
Fred leaned toward Cael. "She didn't even flinch. That's terrifying."
George nodded. "She's cool. Like, actual cool."
Lee raised his goblet. "Looks like we helped her get rid of a parasite."
Cael sighed, shoulders sinking… but he couldn't wipe the smile off his face.
From across the hall, the enchanted ducks shouted once again:
"Frey wets the bed!"
Cael buried his face in his hands.
But he was still grinning.