There had to be no one around. However, it could not be too secluded, as it would be easier to deal with the body before it decomposes.
"How about somewhere like a river or the sea where there's no need for disposal? Where's the sea around here? Come to think of it, Beom-gyu also died by the seaside."
Joo-hyun had killed him. Because of his incompetence, Beom-gyu had died, and the bullets were too small yet so powerful...
His head hurt. It felt as though his lungs were swelling and shrinking, every breath a painful ordeal, almost as if he were drowning. The more he thought about it, the more right his next steps seemed. Life shouldn't be this painful.
Someone once said that being alive should be something more beautiful.
After running for quite a while, Joo-hyun stopped abruptly. He was in an alley. He didn't know where, and frankly, he didn't care. If he got caught sneaking out of Block A, he might lose his head, but that was exactly what Joo-hyun wanted.
Gazing at his sweat and dust-covered hands, Joo-hyun leaned against the dirty wall as if collapsing. The clothes covering his nose felt suffocating, so he unzipped his jacket. The crude collar with the bomb was exposed, but he didn't care.
Standing there, rooted like a tree, just breathing, Joo-hyun began to slowly accept the situation.
He had seen the esper who subdued him when he went rogue and, in a near-panic, had fled. He wandered looking for a place to die, ending up in this filthy back alley.
It was a ridiculous story. Joo-hyun knew well that his mental state wasn't healthy. He hadn't expected to be this weak.
But why did the suicide plan he had just devised still seem like a good idea even after escaping the panic?
'Let's promise not to take our own lives.'
Nausea welled up. The eyes that had shone like falling meteors were still vivid in his mind. Joo-hyun touched his face with cold hands.
"Please..."
'I subdued the runaway esper.'
"Stop it!"
The sticky blood splattered everywhere in his mind wouldn't go away. It wasn't just blood but the blood of people he cared about. Joo-hyun shut his eyes tightly as if to collide with his memories.
"Has it really been 11 years? So vivid, like it was yesterday?"
Perhaps it was because he kept replaying it in his mind. Or maybe, as the saying goes, the first is always memorable. For the same reason, his first kill... No, that day wasn't the first.
"Of course not."
To shake off the incessant thoughts, Joo-hyun banged the back of his head against the wall. The sharp pain was momentary, but it cleared his mind.
Bang. Bang. Repeating the action a few more times, Joo-hyun focused solely on the sound of his heartbeat, struggling to stay alive.
At the same time, he was thankful that this was a dirty, dark alley where no one came, even in broad daylight. He had too much pride to show his weakened face to anyone.
In truth, Joo-hyun had been holding up well. He tried to live without dwelling too much on sorrow, but sometimes it didn't work. When he thought of someone who had died long ago, when the sins he committed felt especially painful, or when he just suddenly craved death.
Panting heavily, Joo-hyun rubbed his wet face with his sleeve. In the process, the lens crumpled and came off his eye. Joo-hyun removed it with his bare hand and threw it on the ground.
No one would treat a monster that escaped the gate as a human just because it wore clothes. A monster must live as a monster.
After standing still for a while, Joo-hyun realised the sky had turned a pale crimson. It wasn't a mission that would take hours, so someone might have already checked his location.
Would his head explode soon then? Despite the imminent threat of death, Joo-hyun wasn't afraid at all. Only those who are happy with life want to hold onto it.
Sniffling, staring at a discarded can, Joo-hyun heard a voice from the alley's entrance. It seemed his luck in solitude had run out.
Quickly walking the other way, Joo-hyun zipped his jacket all the way up and hung his head low. Tears that hadn't come out even when his comrades died were now falling just because he recalled the past. Hating himself a little more, Joo-hyun wiped away his tears and took a decisive step.
"Then, I said—oh!"
He lightly bumped into someone turning the corner and instinctively looked up.
The student in a school uniform, holding a phone, staggered but didn't fall because Joo-hyun grabbed his arm reflexively. Yes, he looked up and grabbed the student. That was Joo-hyun's mistake. He met the poorly lined young eyes head-on.
"Red..."
As soon as he heard the dazed whisper, Joo-hyun started running without looking back. But for some reason, the number of people increased. Joo-hyun didn't know, but it was the time when students left school and office workers finished work, flooding the streets with crowds.
Fearful of running out of control in such a place, Joo-hyun couldn't stop trembling but kept running until he saw a familiar face and stopped abruptly.
The sharp eyes, the firmly closed lips, so different from his usual look. Such a beautiful person was rare.
Joo-hyun approached Cha In-ho. Or rather, Cha In-ho's advertisement on a huge billboard, where he sat with an indifferent gaze.
Cha In-ho's guiding was exceptionally gentle and warm. It was only after meeting him that Joo-hyun realised there could be such a difference in guiding. Headaches, bleeding, bruises—all were immediately soothed as if erased by his touch.
That guide, who approached suddenly and then retreated just as suddenly, had given Joo-hyun a lighter and bought him clothes. A very soft and warm white hoodie.
At some point, Joo-hyun realised his breathing was no longer ragged. The people passing by didn't pay him any attention. Occasionally, someone glanced at him, thinking he was an esper, but no one looked directly into his eyes.
Feeling somewhat calmer but still anxiously beating, Joo-hyun squinted and searched for a place to hide.
He finally chose an old phone booth. Though transparent, closing the door made him feel a bit more secure.
Spending time biting his lip, Joo-hyun suddenly realised that to stay inside, he had to make a call. Standing in a phone booth without lifting the receiver would definitely look suspicious.
Fortunately, among the items provided before the mission, there was some cash. It was meant for smooth mission execution, but using a few coins wouldn't get him reprimanded.
With cold hands, Joo-hyun picked up the receiver. Of course, even so, there was no one to call. Unless he called Block C to turn himself in, there was no one he could contact personally. Except for Cha In-ho, who had given him his personal number on a note.
The eleven digits were still etched in his mind.
After some hesitation, Joo-hyun dialled the numbers slowly. It was a strange feeling to both hope the call wouldn't be answered and hope it would be.
As the ringing continued, Joo-hyun felt a strange sense of relief until...
"Hello?"
Cha In-ho's voice on the other end was slightly lower and less soft. Joo-hyun instinctively adjusted his grip on the receiver.
"Who is this?"
"It's me... Joo-hyun."
There was a brief silence from the other end. After a loud noise, Cha In-ho spoke.
"Joo-hyun, what's wrong?"
"Just, I thought of you."
He couldn't possibly admit that he had gone runaway during a mission, calmed down only after seeing his billboard.
Despite the flimsy excuse, Cha In-ho didn't sound displeased. There was even a hint of laughter in his voice, so vivid that Joo-hyun could picture his smile.
"You thought of me? That's an honour."
Joo-hyun pondered how to respond. If they were talking face-to-face, he would've scowled, but on the phone, only words could continue the conversation.
"Honour? That's a bit much. So this is really your number."
"Did you think I'd lie in that situation? How do you see me, Joo-hyun?"
"You're a celebrity. Do you give your number to just anyone?"
Speaking in his usual sharp tone, Joo-hyun inwardly regretted it. If In-ho decided to change his number, it would be Joo-hyun's loss. While it wouldn't be a disaster if he did, there might be a time when he urgently needed a guide, like with Beom-gyu.
Just as Joo-hyun was rambling to himself, In-ho's gentle voice cut in.
"You're not just anyone."
Even through the phone's low-quality audio, Cha In-ho's voice sounded pleasant. Joo-hyun's lips moved, but no words came out.
He wondered who was he to Cha In-ho then. If he asked, what would be an answer?
"Probably, 'matching esper'."
Even though they were only contracted for mutual benefit for a short time, if he was this kind to him, what would he do for an esper he truly connected with? Swallowing down a question he didn't want to ask, Joo-hyun heard a beep from his choker, followed by a staff member's voice.
"Why is the mission delayed?"
Usually, they didn't speak first, but contacting him meant they were tired of waiting.