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Chapter 4 - Chapter 4 — The Delulu Dream

Chapter 4 — Of Buffaloes, Siopao, and Delusions

POV: Ryan Hawkins

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🛏️ Scene 1 — 3:08 AM | Ryan's Room — The Delulu Dream

> Me (mumbling, half-asleep):

"Yeah… I can join that damn department… I just need to study… focus… f—zzZz…"

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🎬 DREAM MODE: ON

Suddenly, I was back inside the Anti-Scammer Department.

Cold air. Cinematic lighting. Angelic background music. Felt like a K-drama intro.

Then she appeared.

Rachel.

Long black hair. Swinging ID badge. Eyes sparkling like they had their own Instagram filter.

> Rachel (softly):

"Sir Ryan… good morning."

(Slow motion. Sparkles. Wind from nowhere.)

I blushed. She stepped closer. Then closer…

Leaned in—

Her lips brushed mine.

I closed my eyes.

> Smooch.

Moooo.

> Me (eyes still closed):

"Wait… what?"

I opened my eyes.

Rachel was gone.

Standing in front of me now was—

A buff water buffalo. Wearing eyeliner. And a faint mustache.

> Kalabaw (seductively):

"Daddy… one more kiss~"

> Me (screaming in dream):

"WHAT THE ACTUAL—"

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😱 Scene 2 — 3:09 AM | Ryan's Room — Reality Hits

> Me (bolting upright):

"AHHH! BUFFALOOOO!!!"

I sat in bed, sweating, gasping, traumatized.

> Me (wide-eyed):

"Was that a nightmare… or emotional damage in disguise?"

My room was still messy. My textbook still unopened.

I reached for the one beside me.

> How to Not Be a Disappointment Vol. 2 — Wake the Hell Up

> Me (sighing):

"Alright. No more kissing livestock. Time to study."

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📚 Scene 3 — 8:12 AM | Luneta college

I arrived at school smiling like I got a scholarship from the University of Delusion.

> Me (thinking):

"This is it. My redemption arc begins… with a touch of insanity."

I entered like I was in a shampoo commercial.

Wind? Check.

Delulu? Maxed out.

> Me (to a guy):

"Good morning, Proof!"

> Random Guy (blinking):

"Uhh… my name's Paolo."

> Me (nodding seriously):

"Oh. Right. I meant your earrings."

(pause)

"Wait. Where is your hair?!"

> Paolo:

"You okay, bro?"

> Me (grinning):

"Nope. But I showed up anyway."

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📼 Flashback: Me as a Kid

Even as a kid, I was built different.

While the other kids ate crayons by accident…

I ate them on purpose.

To assert dominance.

Lost a jack-en-poy game once.

Challenged my classmate to a spelling bee.

We both cried.

> Me (thinking):

"I may be small… but my delulu is XXL."

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🧑‍🏫 Scene 4 — 8:30 AM | Room 203 — The Teacher with Aura

I took my seat at the back and watched as our teacher walked in like a K-drama second lead.

Glasses? Check.

Rolled sleeves? Danger.

Aura? Rachel-level.

> Me (blushing):

"Why does this man give off forbidden romance energy?!"

> Sir Teacher (writing on board):

"Open your books to page 42."

> Me (internally panicking):

"Yes, daddy—WAIT. NO. I mean sir. TEACHER. EDUCATOR."

Brain? Lagging like a cheap charger.

I looked down at my notebook. I had written only one line:

> He has veins.

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🛎️ Scene 5 — 4:00 PM | Outside School — Post-Class Delulu Drift

Bell rang. Class dismissed.

> Me (stretching):

"Finally. Time to go home and cry horizontally."

As I walked past traffic, I tried guessing car brands like a broke Top Gear host.

> Me:

"Honda. Mitsubishi. Is that a Tesla?—Nope. Jeepney with a spoiler and a rosary."

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🥟 Scene 6 — Siopao Stand

Then I smelled it.

Steam. Warm bread. Childhood.

Siopao.

I stopped.

> Me (soft):

"…Mama."

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🎞️ Flashback: 6 Years Ago — Our Kitchen

> Mama (smiling):

"Anak, when life gets hard… eat a siopao. It's soft. Warm. Like a hug."

> Me (tiny):

"But we don't have ulam."

> Mama:

"Then siopao is the ulam."

> Me:

"Siopao supremacy."

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🌀 Present Time

> Me (staring at siopao):

"Mama… your steamed hugs still haunt me."

I reached into my pocket.

Empty.

I walked away siopao-less.

But emotionally full.

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🏠 Scene 7 — 5:02 PM | My Apartment (a.k.a. Depression HQ)

Twelve thousand steps later, I was home.

> Me (sniffing the air):

"Yup. Smells like wet dog, failed dreams, and someone else's regret."

I collapsed on the floor dramatically like a telenovela lead discovering betrayal.

> Me (to ceiling):

"This is home. It stinks. I love it."

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To Be Continued…

Stay tuned for Chapter 5, godbless

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