Why is this place so soft?
The first thing I registered was fact that the place I was on was so soft.
It had been a little over two years since I had last slept on anything this soft.
"What could she be up to now" I wondered.
Deloris never seemed to run out of ideas on how to torture me. Just when you think it's over – that you've seen it all, she surprises you with something new.
I tired to open my eyes, but it was so heavy. I felt a banging ache in my head. It was all expected given the state I was in.
However, what was unexpected was the fact that I felt the pain at all. Why was I still alive?
I moved my hands to feel my stomach to find it intact. Let's use a moment to acknowledge whichever doctor patched me up. He is good at what he does
I was at the hospital. The steady beep, the strong smell of antiseptic, even the soft bed! The need to figure out a counter-plan had me struggling to open my eyes.
The moment I opened my eyes, the fluorescent lights threatened to blind me so I had to shut it back for a moment.
And when I finally opened my eyes, my heart clenched as memories I'd always tired to forget flooded in. The void I'd tried to fill over the years were now open.
I was in the exact room it all started.
The hospital room I was admitted into after I heard about the news.
Even after four years, I could remember everything like it was just yesterday.
It was on my graduation day, I'd been so angry that my family didn't make it. I had specifically informed them about all the details and I'd told them to make sure they were there to listen to my speech. I was the valedictorian.
I could remember how I'd threatened to never speak to them if they miss it. I'd felt justified then. They barely attended any of my events.
After I'd delivered the speech – albeit half heartedly, I was so angry that I felt I could cry. I could felt my throat tighten.
I rushed to my apartment to cry so that no one would see me cry.
Imagine how surprised I was when I heard a frantic knock at my door. I'd thought it was my family at first until I heard the voices.
They were of both lectures and students, all asking me to open the door. I tried to clean up a bit- I didn't know that would be the least of my worries soon.
Then I heard something say " oh poor girl! How will she carry on with her life."
Then curiosity got the better of me. Or maybe it's the fact that I had a bad feeling about it all, I went to open the door.
Then it came- the condolences. I was so confused.
Apparently, they thought the news was the reason I was disgruntled.
Just as I thought to ask someone to explain what was going on, one of my lecturers dropped the bomb.
" I heard about the plane crash, they said nobody survived. Even if your family members are now gone at least we are here for you."
It was as if a rug was pulled from under my feet. I lost my strength. I collapsed. How I got to my phone was a mystery. I called all their numbers and none went through. Then I went on the internet. As if it knew what I came looking for- it threw the news to my face.
There is was – a detailed report of their death.
I couldn't read read it... I was too dizzy for that.
But the caption was "THE AKINLOYES MEET WITH DISASTER ON THEIR WAY TO THE YOUNGER CHILD'S GRADUATION AS A RESULT OF INADEQUATE OR NEGLECT OF PREFLIGHT INSPECTION."
That did it. I know they did that so they don't miss my speech.
I couldn't take it anymore. I felt everything spin. Then it was all black.
I woke up in this exact hospital room.
While I told myself not to dwell on the past, I stood up – I needed to look for an escape route.
So, I sat up, unplugged all that was plugged to me and swung my foot to the ground, one after the other.
Had I been more observant, I would have seen that the slippers I'd slipped on was the handmade one my mum had given me. I would have seen how my feet looked like it used to – soft and smooth. Or that I didn't feel that much pain for a person whose "intestines were packed back into her."
I was observant... I just didn't observe me.
As a result of all the clues I'd missed, I got the greatest shock of my life – even with the news of my family's death included – at the bathroom.
I'd got to the bathroom before I realized that just like four years ago, the room was on the twenty fourth floor. I'd be more crazy than I believe I am if I ever thought I could climb it down.
Disappointed, I was about to leave the bathroom to think about alternatives before I caught a glimpse of a figure in the mirror.
At first a was shocked, I hadn't observed someone else was in the bathroom with me. Then I was mortified, the person wasn't in the room but just in the mirror.
I couldn't see my self in the mirror but there was this person in the mirror, mirroring everything I did.
Upon closer inspection, I realized the person was actually me. Albeit a younger version of me.
Was Deloris trying to show me how far I'd fallen, or just torture me?
Broken, I took my hands to hold my face. Trying to stop myself from crying.
Then I saw my hands, soft, slender and beautiful. Even the nails were designed the exact same way I'd done it myself before the graduation.
What exactly is going on!
Just to show me God answers prayers, I heard a knock on the door.
I didn't reply but they came in anyways.
I'd decided it's better to face everything at once so I stepped out of the bathroom, contrary to what I'd really wanted to do – lock myself there.
At that point, I was surprised by how well my heart is taking these surprises.
Because, right before my eyes were the McKinley. Elise and Richard McKinley!
It was like the beginning of the end all over again, Elise with a flower and Richard with a folder.
Just like they had done four years ago, they started by telling me how sorry they were that this happened to me and how I shouldn't worry 'cause I have them.
Everything would have felt like they were recruited by Deloris to act it out if I wasn't steering right at Richard.
Richard had died a year ago from an heart attack.
Then a crazy theory came to me. I couldn't help but interrupt they while they were telling me about how they were my emergency guardians in case of death.
"What date is it today?"
Although they were shocked at first they told me.
"May eighteen, twenty-thirteen."
Fours year ago, two days after my family's death.
Could I have gone back in time?
Or could it – all that had happened within four years just a dream?
It felt too real for it to be a dream...
The realization hit me hard.
I fainted.