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đ Chapter 1: The Dumbest Death, the Useless System
I was just a regular office worker, stuck in traffic, bored out of my mind.
That day, I was reading a new isekai comic on my phone.
The main character died by... falling into a manhole.
> "Wow, that's gotta be the dumbest way to die," I laughed.
But then...
I took one more step.
And I didn't notice the real manhole in front of me.
> Thud.
Darkness.
âŠ
> "Where⊠am I?"
The air was cold. Everything was white. And a calm, terrifying voice whispered:
> "You died. Congratulations. You win the Dumbest Death Award."
> "W-what?!"
> "But you don't belong here. Someone like you... is better off elsewhere."
The voice snapped its fingers.
A glowing portal appeared.
> "Go on. I'm done looking at you."
I stepped through the portalâŠ
and that's when it began.
---
I woke up. But something was very wrong.
I couldn't feel my arms. Or my legs. Or my face.
> "System initializingâŠ"
A robotic voice echoed.
> "Welcome to the Cultivation World, newbie!"
"Warning: Host does not meet the minimum requirements to be human."
> "Wait, what?!"
I crawled to a puddle and looked at my reflection.
> A slime.
A weak, squishy, useless blob of slime.
> "Because you are unqualified, the System will now enter Useless Mode."
> "Useless WHAT?!"
> "You can't cultivate. You can't fight. You can't even talk properly. Good luck!"
A mission appeared before my eyes:
> [Main Quest: Survive.]
Reward: âŠNot dying.
âŠ
> "Seriously?! That's it?!"
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And that⊠was how my journey began.
I was a nobody in a world of monsters, swords, and immortals.
But maybe⊠just maybeâŠ
this useless little slime could break the system.
Someday.
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