"Whew…"
"This is really…"
"Is it really possible for one person to change this much…"
The three of them sat exhausted on the steps by the beach, their underwear long torn to shreds.
Even though they gave it their all, Shiro and Iori ultimately couldn't escape the persecution of the Makeup Corpse Beast.
In the end, it was Shir's indestructible underwear that bought them a few precious seconds, or else they all might've been wiped out back at the inn!
Now the trio was finally enjoying a rare moment of peace.
"Damn it, there's no TV signal out here!"
Kouhei was in despair—at a time like this, there was no signal! His favorite idol show was about to air!
"Relax, you recorded it, didn't you?"
"Recording and live broadcasts are totally different, okay? Kamishiro, tell this idiot the difference!"
"...There's not much of a difference."
╭(°A°`)╮
Kouhei stared at Shiro in disbelief. His comrade had betrayed him?!
"What kind of look is that? I told you—I'm a normie, okay!"
Shiro was speechless. He was a normie through and through. Why wouldn't this idiot believe him?
Was it just because of that stripable Aqua figurine?
The two weren't mutually exclusive!
"Forget it."
Kouhei waved his hand, feeling he couldn't reason with these two jerks. Staring up at the starry sky, he grew a little emotional.
"It's unbelievable… I never thought I'd join a club like this."
"Haha, yeah, something I never even dared imagine before. It was rough at first, but after getting used to it, it's actually not bad!"
Shiro agreed—he was fully invested now.
Seeing the two getting sentimental, Iori also joined in.
"Is that so? From the start, I felt like this club surprisingly suited you two."
(???)
Hearing Iori speak, Shiro and Kouhei turned to stare at him in silence.
"Let's not forget the only reason I joined this club is because of you! If you hadn't dragged me along that day, I wouldn't even be here!"
"Same here! You bastard tricked me into joining!"
Their eyes were bloodshot as they recalled their first meeting with the club—something they'd never forget.
It was basically… hell from the very beginning!
(;´_`)
"Don't make it sound so bad! You guys are having fun now, aren't you…"
"Ha? Are you trying to deny it now, you bastard?!"
"I deny—"
"What a shameless human being!"
"Wait a second! In a way, haven't your dreams already come true?!"
Iori shouted, trying to bring the two back to their senses.
"Think carefully!
Kamishiro—you always said you wanted to go to the beach, to experience the sea, right?!
Kouhei—remember what you said before, 'After entering college, a dreamlike life awaits me'!
Think about it. Isn't this exactly like a dream?!"
!
Shiro and Kouhei were stunned. As if they suddenly understood, they both smiled slightly and turned to gaze again at the brilliant starry sky.
They weren't imagining it… They definitely sensed something like a demon behind them.
"A dreamlike life, huh…"
"So this dream is a nightmare."
"Yeah."
ROAR!
A demon pounces!
They weren't wrong—there was a demon behind them, and a drunk one at that!
Aina leapt onto all three of them alone. The absurd scene would earn applause from even ancient emperors—now that's playing hard!
"Let's compare sizes!"
"Damn it! Makeup Corpse Beast, wake up!"
"Think about your future!"
"AAAAHHH! Don't pull!"
"..."
A peaceful wave rose from the shore—a calm night made lively by their chaos~
…
Three days later—
Everyone boarded the return flight.
After partying to the max, they were all sleeping soundly. Iori and Kouhei even fought each other in their sleep.
Meanwhile, Shiro obediently leaned against Azusa's shoulder, occasionally letting his head fall into that soft place.
Azusa didn't mind at all. She even wanted him to just stay leaning there.
At the moment, she was sitting with Aina, Chisa, and Nanaka, all of them looking fondly at the trip photos.
Running with the pixelated youth,
The written diving exam,
Cooking at the villa,
Shiro's pig-head moment,
Miss Ninagawa and dolphin Titi,
The turtle family,
Messing around on the cruise ship,
The group drinking event,
Aina pulling down Shiro and the others' pants,
Etc…
"AAAAAHHH!!! Why are those pictures in here too?!"
Aina's face turned bright red, her eyes spiraling into hypnosis mode!
She had spent three whole days trying to mentally recover! And now all those memories came rushing back!
On the day after the drinking party, she definitely knew she'd done something outrageous!
But how could she, as a girl, say something so embarrassing out loud?! She could only pretend she lost her memory and move on!
Yet those three idiots kept "reminding" her like they were mentally unwell!
AAHHHHH!!!
Who wants to remember that kind of thing?! And it's not like she even did anything!
At least not to Shiro or Kouhei! She clearly remembered she had grabbed Iori's stuff…
(。•́︿•̀。)
Uuuuuu!!!
She hadn't even said anything about being unmarriageable yet!
"Hahaha, don't cry, don't cry. This is youth~"
Azusa laughed and patted Aina's little head—these kinds of things were perfect for deepening relationships.
(´꒳`)
"My youth doesn't need any mosaic censorship, thank you very much!"
Aina cried. It felt like her youth had gone off track from the very beginning.
She thought that after escaping that disgusting club, she'd have a rose-colored youth—but why did it turn yellow?!
(Note: "yellow" refers to lewd or adult content in Chinese slang.)
These photos could totally be used as covers for adult magazines!
"The contrast is insane…"
Even the usually airheaded Chisa looked away—on one side were normal diving pics, and on the other… basically nude shots. Good enough for collateral on a loan.
"Haha, don't mind it too much~
I like both sides!"
Nanaka smiled and gently stroked Chisa's hair.
(˘︶˘).。.:*♡
Little Chisa smells so nice!
"Now this is what PaB is all about!"
Seeing that, Azusa leapt up and wrapped her arms around Chisa's neck.
But in her excitement, she forgot something important—
Shiro had been resting his head on her soft spot!
When she jumped up suddenly, she ended up yanking Shiro up with her, the seatbelt choking his neck tightly!
{{(°△°; ")}}
WTF!
Who?! Who's trying to assassinate me while I sleep?!
This turbulence is definitely the pilot's fault!
That damn pilot—are you even qualified?! If I could, I'd storm into the cockpit and kick you out myself!
\(`Δ')/
.....................…..
Yamamoto Residence
"Yo!"
"We brought beer!"
"And snacks to go with it."
Today was a special day!
It was the 30-day anniversary of the Exam Cheaters' Friendship Group!
Over these past 30 days, they had come to accept each other, feeling that they were a group of people worth building deep friendships with!
Of course... their opinions that each other were trash and idiots hadn't changed in the slightest!
Still, thinking about it, occasionally hanging out with trashy idiots was kind of fun~
Shiro and the other two had just returned from Miyako Island when they received an invitation from Yamamoto.
Iori and the others thought it would be fun, so they came. As for Shiro...
He refused. He had a date with Kiyoko that day!
But some things are just out of your control...
Iori and Kohei directly stormed the Tora-Tora Love Hotel!
Coincidentally, the terrifying owner that Shiro was familiar with wasn't there. Instead, a 143cm tall loli manager was in charge!
Don't be fooled by her petite figure—she was even more dangerous than the boss.
If the boss was the "intimidation" rep, the boss lady was the muscle!
Taking into account the power gap, the two of them thought of another method—they told her all about Shiro's "glorious" exploits.
The boss lady, who hated scumbags, was successfully convinced by Iori and Kohei!
That evening, the moment Shiro stepped into the hotel with Kiyoko, he was ambushed!
With Kiyoko looking utterly confused, Shiro vanished before her eyes…
(?`~′?)
Kiyoko puffed up her cheeks in frustration.
Damn it, the duck was already in my mouth and it flew away!
...
Gulp gulp gulp—
Phew—
After chugging a whole bottle of beer, Shiro finally looked normal again.
He came to the conclusion that this failure was completely the fault of the Tora-Tora Love Hotel's owner!
He was a super member, damn it!
They used to cooperate so well—how could they fail him this time? He was definitely going to complain!
As for blaming Iori and Kohei?
Forget it!
He never expected anything from those two anyway!
( ̄~ ̄)
Shiro angrily bit into a duck neck, treating it like those two idiots.
After a few rounds of drinks—
"Guys, I often wonder about something!"
Yamamoto suddenly spoke up, troubled by a long-standing question.
"Why can't I get a girlfriend?"
"Because you're ugly."
"Because your personality sucks."
"Because your lifestyle is trash."
"Because you're a pervert."
"You should just give up."
The five others didn't even hesitate and blurted out their answers so fast that Yamamoto didn't have time to react.
"You guys really don't hold back at all!" Yamamoto roared.
He couldn't believe they came up with so many insults so quickly—and why did they look like they weren't even done yet?!
"C'mon, don't take it too hard, Yamamoto."
"At our age, it's perfectly normal not to have a girlfriend."
"Haha, right?"
The Yamamoto Trio (Yamamoto, Nojima, and Fujiwara) laughed heartily. Then, somehow, they pulled out shovels from who knows where!
WHAM!
"You guys agree with us, right? Shiro, Kitahara?"
{{(°△°;")}}!
Shiro and Iori jumped in fright. Iori even dropped into a formal kneel!
"I swear I haven't even touched Chisa's finger!"
Hearing that, the trio finally shifted their attention away. Now all the pressure was on Shiro.
(;?_?)
"Uh… well… I don't have a girlfriend."
WHAM!
Yamamoto's eyes flashed red. "Then what's up with that Kiyoko girl?! And what about the stuff on the school forum about you and that upperclassman sneaking around?!"
"That's just jealousy talking, okay? You guys have all been to my place—you know how things really are."
Looking into Shiro's (fake) sincere eyes, the trio felt convinced and silently put down their shovels.
True, they'd been to his place. Everything seemed normal.
As for the love hotel?
They'd double-check next time!
Shiro let out a silent breath—his heart dropped along with the shovels. Who would've thought… this had been a Hongmen Banquet all along.
If not for his stellar acting, he might've been buried right here!
No, he needed to change the subject fast!
Shiro glanced around and suddenly realized something was off—where was his substitute bro?!
"Hey, aren't we missing someone?"
"Yeah, where's Mitarai?"
"Haven't seen him in a while. Wasn't he invited?"
Shiro's trio looked at the others in confusion. Weren't these guys always tight like they wore the same underwear?
"He was invited, but… for some reason, he just left early," Yamamoto explained. He and Mitarai were best friends.
"Haha, maybe he got a girlfriend."
"Hahaha, yeah right."
Everyone chuckled. No way a dummy like him had a girlfriend.
"But with that face of his, it wouldn't be that surprising."
The honest guy Fujiwara sighed. Mitarai was one of those pretty-boy types. It made him jealous.
"Heh, well, we're both narrow-eyed dudes. He's got maybe one-twelfth of my power," Shiro said smugly.
"You damn scumbag, shut up already!"
"But what if he really did get a girlfriend?"
"Impossible! I believe in Mitarai!"
Yamamoto argued seriously. He recalled the start of the school year—how lost he'd been in a new environment.
It was Mitarai who had come to him and made friends!
"Thanks to him, I got to know Nojima and the others, and now we're here drinking together!"
"Yamamoto…"
Nojima and the others were touched. They hadn't realized Yamamoto was actually such a sentimental guy!
"So I believe Mitarai must have something really important going on!"
Ring ring ring—
Just as Yamamoto finished speaking, a ringtone grabbed everyone's attention.
Turning to look—they saw Shiro making a call.
'Hello? Who is this?'
The voice on the other end was clearly Mitarai.
"Mitarai, it's me—Shiro. We're drinking at Yamamoto's place. If you're free…"
'Sorry, give me like… 15 minutes—no, 30 minutes! I'll call you back!'
Originally speaking casually, Shiro's expression turned serious.
That tone—hurried and trying to hide something, and the timing…
It really sounded like he was "using his own two hands"… But something like that shouldn't take this long.
Then… there was only one possibility!
'What is it, Yu-kun?'
Sure enough, the next second, a sweet female voice came through the phone.
Because Shiro had it on speaker, everyone in the room heard it.
In an instant, their eyes went cold and dark, like assassins awakening from sleep.
"Alright then, 30 minutes…" Shiro hung up, already buying life insurance for Mitarai in his heart.
This guy… actually dared to answer the phone in the middle of that—and even let the girl talk?!
Lacking stimulation, are we?!
If he was lacking excitement, then they'd be happy to help!
"So yeah, that guy's with a girl. Said he'll call us back in 30 minutes~"
"Haha, is that so?"
"No wonder he hasn't been hanging out lately."
"Found a girl, huh."
"She sounded pretty cute, too."
They all chuckled, as if happy their friend had found love.
But the next second—
They pulled out shovels, gasoline, cement, and other tools from the room!
Then, very coolly, they threw on their jackets and headed out!
"Let's go, my dear comrades. One of our brothers is out of line!"
"Bring the fire and gasoline—let's burn him!"
"Who knows where he lives?!"
"Leave it to me!"
"Attaboy!"
"You'll be rewarded by the organization later!"
With a vicious grin, Shiro led the charge. If he couldn't get lucky tonight, no one could!!!
He was always the one being interrupted. This time, it was his turn to interrupt!
"Listen up! We can't let that guy succeed tonight!"
"Absolutely!"
"We're comrades!"
"How can we miss out on a comrade's moment of happiness?!"
...
Meanwhile, Mitarai had no idea—
Because of one phone call, a storm of blood and fire was heading straight for him!
.....................…..
Outside the Mitarai Residence
It only took a minute for everyone to arrive at the scene. Sometimes, human potential truly shines in moments of crisis—they had just broken the world record set by Usain Bolt!
"That bastard is really inside."
Seeing the lights on inside the house and hearing faint female voices, everyone knew the truth—it was real!
Mitarai had snuck away on his own, and judging by the voices, they were already at the final stage!
"Let me handle this."
Yamamoto's voice was calm, his eyes full of a kind of compassionate emotion.
He shouted loudly toward the house:
"Mr. Mitarai? We have a delivery for you! Two hundred 18+ DVDs!"
As he spoke, he somehow actually pulled out a huge pile of 18+ DVDs!
Everyone froze in disbelief. These were Yamamoto's treasured collection! Even asking to borrow one usually got them nothing!
"You sure about this?"
Shiro's voice was heavy. He understood Yamamoto's resolve—this man… this man had given everything!
"Yeah, totally fine. If my misfortune can shatter his happiness…"
Yamamoto's eyes glowed—that was the gleam of true scum!
"I feel refreshed inside…"
"What a beautifully scummy feeling."
"That's the spirit!"
Even Iori and the others were moved by Yamamoto's sacrifice. What dedication! What willingness to ruin others at his own cost!
Shiro stood dumbfounded. In Yamamoto, he saw the same determination of his old high school pursuers.
Suddenly, he understood—he finally understood why those guys had launched suicide attacks against him back then.
So this was what they were feeling.
A faint smile curved his lips. Who would've thought, just a few months later, he could actually empathize with those maniacs?
And now… he had become one of them. So be it—time to go all in!
Determination burned in Shiro's eyes. This time, he would carry on the will of his high school pursuers!
After all, a stand-in was enough to represent him.
{{(°△°; "}}!
Inside the house, Mitarai jumped at the commotion. When the hell did I ever have the guts to buy 200 AVs?!
How much would that even cost?!
No—wait! That wasn't the issue right now!
His eyes darted to his girlfriend. That sharp glare from her clearly meant she wasn't pleased!
"I-it's animal documentaries! I recently got into nature shows!"
Mitarai stammered, trying to explain. He was filled with regret—he never should've answered that call!
Weren't those idiots supposed to be at Yamamoto's place?! Why'd they show up so fast?! At least give me a few more minutes!
"Really?"
His girlfriend looked skeptical. But yeah—200 AVs was kind of ridiculous… maybe she just misheard?
Bang bang~
The next second, several DVDs were shoved in through the mail slot.
"Sorry, can't fit them all in from here!"
Yamamoto's voice called from outside—he clearly heard the conversation inside.
(???)
"So it's not animal videos at all."
Seeing the explicit covers, Rie Ohashi, Mitarai's girlfriend, immediately saw through the lie. But surprisingly, she wasn't angry. AVs were common for guys. It wasn't a big deal—just… 200 was a bit much. Hopefully, Mitarai's body… could handle it?
"Ahaha… I have no idea what's going on either…"
Mitarai gave a stiff laugh.
These bastards were really going all out. He even spotted a few of his favorite titles—the ones Yamamoto refused to lend no matter how many times he asked!
This couldn't go on—he had to finish this quickly!
"Forget about them. Let's continue."
He turned off the lights and pushed Rie onto the bed.
At that moment, she was covered only by a thin blanket that barely hid her curves—
"Kyah~"
Shy and flustered, Rie forgot all about the AV incident.
Outside
Seeing the lights go off, Shiro and the others instantly understood what Mitarai was planning!
"No good! He's going for a forceful finish—we can't let him!"
Their expressions turned grim. They never expected Mitarai to be this determined!
"We can't waste any more time. If this keeps up, that bastard's actually gonna graduate. Everyone knows a virgin's first time ends fast—Mitarai's might only last…"
"Got it!"
"It all comes down to seconds!"
"Damn it, we can't just watch that guy graduate!"
"Leave it to me!"
Master of dirty tricks, Iori, stepped forward. He couldn't let his comrade graduate… especially not when they were separated by just one wall!
But now that he thought about it… wasn't this kinda exciting?
Wasting no time, Iori came up with a plan. He knew these Japanese apartments well—there was a window near the bed that looked outside.
That was the key!
Iori stripped off his clothes, tied them around his shoulders like a cape…
Then struck the pose of The Birth of Venus right outside Mitarai's window!
"What the hell is this?"
Inside, just as things were heating up, Mitarai heard the noise and looked up. Damn this apartment's lack of soundproofing!
Though he didn't know what Iori was trying to do, he immediately recognized the pose—The Birth of Venus.
And how did he know it? Don't ask. Just know the subject isn't wearing clothes.
But Mitarai didn't respond. He wasn't stupid enough to let this distract him.
"The answer is The Thinker!"
PFFT!!!
WRONG! How did you mess that up so badly?! That's not even close!
"What's wrong?"
Rie's voice pulled Mitarai back from going outside to scold Iori.
Sweat trickled down his forehead.
That was close!
He almost fell for it. These guys were relentless!
"It's nothing. Just focus on me."
He steadied himself. All he needed was 30 minutes. That was it!
And those rumors about first times being over in minutes?
Hah! He didn't believe it!
He'd seen enough 18+ to believe he could match the pros!
Outside
Iori returned, panting. "How was it?!"
(???)
Shiro didn't know what to say. He had no idea what that whole performance was supposed to be.
"Were you trying to stop him or scare him limp?! Honestly, six of us just standing there would've been better!"
To be honest, Shiro couldn't imagine getting it on while six silhouettes loomed outside the window…
Though… he wasn't sure about a stand-in's courage.
"No! Six people would give us away!"
"True!"
"…"
Why did these guys still think they weren't exposed?
"I've got another plan!"
Iori pulled out his phone. In times like this, it was time to use technology!
He changed his chat nickname to something obviously feminine—"Ami"—and began his online catfishing operation.
Inside
Bzz bzz~
Once again, a message interrupted the intimate moment.
Mitarai, being a blockhead, still hadn't turned his phone off.
Annoyed, Rie rolled her eyes. Am I not more important than a message?!
Mitarai picked up his phone out of habit. Maybe it was important?
Even though he'd never received anything important…
「I want to see you again today, Yu-kun~」
– Ami
(′?`)
The moment he read it, Mitarai regretted everything.
It was them again! They were still here?!
Can't they just wait 30 damn minutes?!
Taking a deep breath, he calmed himself. He couldn't lose focus now—everything would be ruined!
"Haha, just spam. Let's get back to…"
SWOOSH!
Before he could react, the phone was already in Rie's hands—and the explicit messages laid bare:
「That love hotel we went to last time was fun~」
「Let's go somewhere different this time—how about the woods?」
「Hehe, I wore the black stockings you love~」
「Rip them off later~」
「Oh, and no cheating, okay~」
– Ami
BAM!
The moment she saw the messages, Rie's rationality vanished. Like a warrior goddess, she grabbed Mitarai by the neck with one hand and lifted him into the air!
Her other hand held the blanket tightly around her.
"What is this?! Stockings?! Rip?!"
Whether it was her unfocused eyes or her iron grip, Mitarai felt like his life was in danger.
He always knew his childhood friend was strong… but not this strong!
She could kill him like this!
"T-this is just a prank from my guy friends! They changed their names and messed with me!"
Desperate to survive, Mitarai quickly explained. He was afraid even a second's delay would be fatal!
Damn it, why did he feel like an ant…?
"Eh? Really?"
Rie looked at him with innocent eyes. Her cute face and innocent look would've screamed "pure girl"…
If she weren't lifting a grown man with one hand.
No sane person would approach a girl like this!
"It's true, really! I told you—there are no girls around me!"
Mitarai felt like he was about to pass out. If not for his goal to graduate, who'd dare date a monster like his childhood friend?
Damn it! Time turned a snot-nosed duckling into a swan—but why couldn't it fix her monstrous strength?!
And even if he wanted to find someone else, how?! Out of 143 people in his major, only three were girls. What kind of monastery is this?!
"If you still don't believe me, I'll show you the whole chat log later!"
Outside
Thanks to the thin walls, everyone outside heard everything clearly.
And now that they heard Mitarai mention revealing chat logs, despair showed on every face.
If that happened, they'd be completely exposed!
Sure, guys' chats were usually nothing special, but Iori's fake "Ami" messages? Game over.
"Damn it! No girls nearby actually helped him!"
"How are we supposed to stop him now?!"
"I know this guy too well—even if we all stood right outside the window, he'd still barge through without hesitation."
"..."
Shiro stayed silent.
Was his stand-in really this extreme?
The curtains were drawn, so people outside couldn't see what was going on inside—but wouldn't he still freak out when he saw shadows moving around in there?
What the hell, was he into that kind of stuff?
A chill ran down Shiro's spine. He never thought his own stand-in could be this freaky. For a moment, he even questioned whether it was worth stopping him at all.
But then!
He turned around and looked at the faces of his closest brothers—all of them filled with frustration and unwillingness to give up!
Yamamoto had even sacrificed his entire secret collection for this moment!
Haa…
Shiro let out a deep breath, his eyes sharpening with resolve. He understood: someone had to step up now.
Slowly, he rose to his feet—not just for himself, but as a representative of all his brothers' hopes.
Today!
He would personally drag Mitarai back to Yamamoto's place to drink. Everyone was counting on him!
"You guys… your methods are way too soft!"
Shiro's eyes gleamed coldly. He finally understood why no one had succeeded yet.
They all wanted to stop Mitarai, but didn't want to do it so obviously. So they kept using roundabout, ineffective tactics!
His mind drifted back to high school—he still remembered the disgusting, underhanded tricks those animals used on him back then.
One time, they almost dragged him straight into a love hotel!
There were even girls who came after him just because they wanted to experience the thrill of being chased like a fugitive.
And now!
The door was right in front of them. And these cowards—Iori and the others—were actually trying to hold back, using half-assed moves with almost no damage.
Honestly, they were still way too green.
Haruto slowly opened his eyes.
He had made his decision—he'd take care of this personally.
After being tormented by those beasts for so long, he'd learned more than a few effective tactics!
"Leave it to me."
—
Inside the Room
After checking the chat logs, Rei's sweet smile returned to her face.
She gently let go of her beloved onii-chan.
It was confirmed—there really weren't any girls in Mitarai's phone.
Though it made her feel a little bad for him… still, this kind of guy really gave her a sense of security~
Without hesitation, she turned off the phone.
Since she had already confirmed that her beloved onii-chan had nothing suspicious, then she didn't need that thing anymore.
Things that could interrupt their precious moment should just stay off forever!
Rei looked shyly at Mitarai. Fate was truly wonderful—who would've thought that her childhood friend would reappear in her college life, and that they'd end up dating~
Closing her eyes, filled with love, she leaned in toward Mitarai.
Let them become one—tonight.
.....................…..
Inside the room—
Mitarai was trembling with excitement as his childhood friend drew closer. Finally, he thought, I'm finally going to graduate from being a virgin!
That group of nuisances hadn't made a peep in a while—probably gave up already.
Yes! Nothing could stop him from stepping into the adult world. All those trials before? Just the final tests!
He had passed!!!
Plop~
Just as their lips were about to touch, a round object rolled to the side of the bed.
A stench drifted out of the sphere—an unbearable, vile gas, like a fart from someone suffering long-term constipation. It reeked of fermentation.
"Σ_(っ°Д °;)っ URGH!!!"
Mitarai almost fainted on the spot. The smell was worse than a boys' school bathroom that hadn't been cleaned in months—it was truly despair-inducing!
Outside the room—
The group stared at Shiro in awe. He was the one who had thrown that orb.
A stink bomb from the convenience store—just 250 yen!
Honestly, when it came to weird stuff, the Japanese were truly unmatched.
At least, that's what Shiro thought. What kind of sane person would even make something like this?
"You're the man, Kamishiro!"
"You even have stuff like this?!"
"You're like a real-life Doraemon!"
"Hey, what did you originally buy this for anyway?"
"…"
(;´Д`)
Shiro looked away when Iori asked that. He couldn't exactly say it was meant to prank him by tossing it into his futon while he slept.
"Ahaha, don't mind the details! Anyway, I've got more—here, take as many as you want!"
He pulled out a pile of stink bombs. Cheap, effective—he'd bought a ton of them in one go last time. The clueless shopkeeper had even looked at him like he had some kind of weird fetish.
These bombs came in all kinds of flavors—curry, lavender, urea... A nauseating combination of farts and bizarre aromas. Just imagining it made your sanity meter drop.
Everyone's smile slowly turned sinister. What a great plan! Drop them through the mail slot—stop Mitarai without getting caught.
They'd already tested one. The smell alone was enough to give someone erectile dysfunction.
If Mitarai still succeeded after all this, then... well, maybe he deserved to graduate!
Either way, it would surely be an unforgettable night for him and his "partner."
They took the bombs with gentle, "merciful" expressions and stared at the door like it was a grave.
"Farewell, brother."
"You'll be remembered."
"Don't worry, we'll be here for you... always."
"…"
Shiro and the others stared wide-eyed. They were pretty sure these guys were just scared that Mitarai might come back after finishing the deed.
Enough talk—time to act!
Despite calling him "brother," they didn't hesitate for a second. They hurled the stink bombs with full force, terrified they might miss.
Their movements were subtle—hard to tell anyone was even outside.
After the toss, the three looked practically enlightened. Shiro felt like they were about to achieve nirvana…
BANG!
╭(°A°`)╮
Suddenly, a round object shot out of the room at insane speed!
Yamamoto, who had been daydreaming nearby, got blasted off his feet by the sheer impact. He slammed into the wall and slid down unconscious.
(′;ω;`)
At the same time, a durian-scented stench burst from the orb.
"Wait… that's our stink bomb!"
Fujiwara (the quiet one) and Nojima (the trashy one) looked horrified. That was the bomb they had thrown!
{{(°△°; ")}}!
Shiro and his gang trembled. Things had clearly gone off the rails.
Suddenly, Shiro shouted:
"CRAP! HIDE!"
BOOM!
BOOM!
Too late.
As Shiro yelled, Nojima and Fujiwara were both blasted backward as well!
They were lucky—Yamamoto broke their fall—so they didn't pass out.
Unlucky part? The stink bomb exploded right there!
The combined scent of every variety—curry, lavender, urea, durian—was worse than a ruptured sewer line.
"Σ_(っ°Д °;)っ URGH!!!"
"What… what the hell just happened…"
"I need air! Fresh AIR!"
"I… I won't give up yet!"
"(′;ω;`) Someone tell me—who is Mitarai's girl?!"
Shiro had enough. He dragged everyone away from the scene.
This was too much. Just too much.
He knew his Stand's capabilities—this wasn't it. No way his Stand could've reflected the bomb.
That left only one possibility—Mitarai's girlfriend!
It was his first time seeing someone who could return a stink bomb like that!
And that speed—absolutely inhuman. Yamamoto still hadn't woken up!
Yamamoto: (twitching…)
Shiro's mind began to conjure the image of a gorilla.
His Stand—no!
The great Mitarai Yuu—he actually chose to risk his first time with someone like that?!
Shiro had no right to stand in his way!
…Though honestly, the main reason?
The smell was just too much to endure.
"Σ_(っ°Д °;)っ URGH!!!"
Inside the room—
Rie frowned. She had already cleared out all the stink bombs, but the lingering stench still made her want to vomit.
Her eyes grew cold as she turned to the shivering Mitarai cowering in the corner.
"…What's going on here? Why do you have so many weird things in your house?"
She was genuinely confused. From her perspective, no one had thrown anything in—so she thought they were his.
{{(°△°; ")}}!
Mitarai was stunned. Great question.
He wanted to know that too!
Why had his house been bombed with farts out of nowhere? And judging by Rie's words, she thought it was his doing.
Also… just now, when she kicked the bomb, he swore he heard a sonic boom?!
Wasn't that… a little outside the bounds of human ability?
He was getting scared now…
Mostly because after all that, his little bro had no will to stand up anymore.
"…Maybe my friends did it. They like collecting weird crap…"
Mitarai sounded exhausted. He couldn't tell Rie the truth—that his dumbass friends were outside. If he did, tonight would definitely be over.
WHAM!
Before he could finish, Rie shoved him onto the bed.
Her long legs pressed between his, straddling him.
She gently caressed his cheek, her eyes gleaming with a slightly deranged glint.
"Oh, it's okay, my dear Yuu-nii. We're childhood friends—something small like this won't stop us~"
GULP.
Mitarai swallowed hard. This might sound crazy, but… somehow, this version of Rie was even hotter.
Outside the room—
Yamamoto finally regained consciousness. Tears streaming down his face, he clutched Shiro's leg.
"Kamishiro! Bro! There has to be another way, right?!"
"Haah… No way. That girl's combat power is off the charts. At this point, unless we find another girl to make her jealous, there's no chance."
Shiro sighed. The sonic stink bomb had scarred him for life.
And anyway, he was a decent guy—sabotaging someone's happiness wasn't his style!
Even Iori and the others looked defeated, clearly out of ideas.
Now…
They could either wait for a miracle…
…Or wait for Mitarai to finish the job.
Only one person stood out among the dejected crowd—
Imamura Kouhei.
A man married to 2D waifus.
To him, real girls were just trouble. Wouldn't it be better to spend that time doting on his anime wives?
At least 2D wives never cheat. If your belief is strong enough—they're yours forever.
He could even fantasize about being the hot blonde love interest!
Kouhei had only come to watch the drama unfold. Now that it was over, he had no reason to stay.
He patted Shiro's shoulder. "Let's go. Let's drink. After tonight, Mitarai and us… we might live in different worlds."
(;´Д`)
"Y-yeah… I guess you're right…"
Shiro's eyes darted nervously. Technically, if Mitarai does finish tonight, doesn't that put him in Shiro's world too?
Kouhei walked off with cool indifference. Nothing could stop him now.
"Yuu-nii~ childhood friends~"
BOOM!!!
Kouhei froze like he'd been struck by lightning. He rushed to the door to eavesdrop.
"Don't call me that. It's kinda weird, y'know?"
"Nooo, Yuu-nii~ Yuu-nii~"
(′;ω;`)
Each "Yuu-nii" hit Kouhei in the heart like a bullet.
In that moment, jealousy erupted in him like a volcano!
He could accept Mitarai graduating… but not this!
Calling him "Yuu-nii"? And they were childhood friends?!
That was Kouhei's ultimate fantasy!!!
A shadow fell over his once-handsome face. This was now a matter of principle.
"Leave it to me," he growled. "It's time you all witnessed the true power of vocal mixing."
Shiro's face went serious. He'd heard that seasoned 2D otakus had their own secret techniques.
Was Kouhei's… voice mixing?!
Inside the room—
Rie continued leaning in, closer and closer. Despite all the chaos earlier, as long as there were no other girls near her Yuu-nii, everything was fine.
"Yuu-kun, I'm coming in~" (Female Voice A)
"Damn you! Who are you people?!" (Female Voice B)
"Yuu-kun… are you there? There are a lot of scary older girls outside… I'm scared~" (Female Voice C)
"Yuu! Get out here and explain yourself!" (Female Voice D)
"Yuu…"
{{(°△°; ")}}!
The group outside stared in horror.
They never expected Kouhei could mimic such realistic female voices—and with so many layers!
Loli, mature woman, young wife… he had them all!
Shiro was utterly dumbfounded. He had originally thought Kohei could at most barely imitate a girl's voice, but he had seriously underestimated him.
This kind of skill, no matter how gifted someone is, still takes time and practice to develop.
In that case...
Everyday Kohei (??ω??)
This kid must have some secret side gig no one knows about!
Bang!
The tightly shut door was suddenly flung open from the inside, and the powerful impact knocked Kohei flying. Thankfully, Shiro reacted quickly and grabbed him in time—otherwise, they'd have been exposed!
A pure and innocent-looking girl stormed out of the house in a rage.
It was none other than Mitarai's girlfriend—Rie Ohashi!
They had been just about to reach the final step, but upon hearing voices outside, Rie instantly backed out. She couldn't accept the idea of her beloved Yu having another woman.
Especially one he was hiding from her!
Fueled by fury, she didn't even stop to think about why she had only heard a voice and not seen anyone.
Right now, she just wanted to break up with this scumbag!
"Goodbye forever! Don't contact me again!"
"W-Wait a sec!"
Mitarai didn't hesitate for a moment—he grabbed his pants and ran after her. If he missed this chance, he might never get close to a girl again!
"That was all just a prank by my guy friends! I swear I'm cutting ties with them!"
"Who would believe you?!"
The two of them got farther and farther away until they were finally out of sight. Only then did Shiro and the others emerge from the bushes.
"That should do it, right?"
"Perfectly resolved!"
"Still leaves a bad taste, though."
"I can't believe that guy wants to cut ties with us."
"Traitor!"
"..."
(;?_?)
Shiro was genuinely speechless at their mentality. Why did it feel like they were the ones who had been wronged, even though they were the ones who cost someone his girlfriend...?
But still...
Shiro stared thoughtfully at Mitarai's retreating figure.
"What is it, Shiro?" Iori noticed his odd expression and asked.
"Why do you care about that traitor?"
"Let's go back and drink already!"
"Exactly!"
Hearing everyone scolding Mitarai, Shiro let out a deep sigh. "You guys are actually not so bad."
(′`;)?
They looked at him, puzzled by what he meant. Wasn't the situation obvious?
"Look at his eyes! So clouded and confused! I believe he hasn't truly abandoned you all. There will be a twist, just wait!"
He said it firmly—he could sense it!
This was the aura of one of his own!
As expected of his stand-in!
(???)
Iori and the others were on the verge of turning into dead fish-eyed statues, with too many retorts bubbling up inside them.
"How the hell can you tell someone's eyes are clouded through squinting eyes? Is it some kind of telepathy between squinters?"
"And why are you acting like you're not one of us?!"
Shiro didn't reply. He continued staring determinedly at Mitarai.
The moment of truth was about to come!
...
Under the streetlamp, Mitarai rubbed the back of his head, looking sheepish as he faced his now ex-girlfriend.
Yes—just a few minutes ago, they had officially broken up.
"I guess I have no choice but to give up now."
"Please make sure you do!"
"I see… Then I just have one last question."
Everyone watched the scene tensely. Just like Ohashi, they were also waiting in anticipation.
"Since we're no longer a couple...
Next time, could you introduce me to your friends?"
A bright, carefree smile spread across Mitarai's face—his logic was flawless, in his opinion!
BAM BAM BAM!!!
Unfortunately... his logic was useless!
Ohashi unleashed a combo attack!
Rising Dragon Fist!
High Kick!
She sent this scumbag flying into the air!
And waiting below for his fall...
Were his "dearest friends"!
"We really are the best of friends!" ×