As a mass-produced generic otaku from the Heavenly Dynasty (self-proclaimed), today Yuu Kisaragi went out and bought a pirated DVD from a street stall, the packaging boldly labeled Fate/Zero.
Back home. Yuu turns on the PC, takes out the disc, glances at the surface, and immediately goes full Sparta:
"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!? POKÉMON BW? THIS AIN'T WHAT WAS PROMISED!!"
"No way! Gotta return this to that scammer bastard!" Yuu declares righteously, standing up—then pauses, sits back down: "Eh, might as well copy the files first..."
And then the cliché plot device strikes—as Yuu slides the disc into the drive, their finger gets zapped by the tray for no goddamn reason! In the panic, their elbow knocks over a soda bottle that definitely wasn't on the desk earlier, while their foot trips over a power cord that somehow slithered underfoot!
"Zzzzt—CRACKLE—BOOM—"
A symphony of sound effects later, Yuu has vanished from the room.
Mission accomplished, pack up.
As the saying goes, when the Great God says "isekai at 3," who dares keep you till 3:30...
Wait, that's not how it goes?
————————————————
Yuu opens their eyes.
"Unfamiliar ceiling... ugh, never mind, that line's too overused."
Sitting up, they confirm they're in a totally foreign room—Japanese-style decor: tatami floors, sliding-door closet, and some weird TV-PC hybrid in the corner. Posters and plushies of little monsters plaster the walls and shelves. Seems the room owner has... questionable taste.
Wait. No.
The three monsters on the poster look familiar, but that suspicious red-and-white ball in the middle...
What was I doing earlier? Bought a disc labeled Fate but inside was Pokémo...
...
"NOOOOOOO—"
A despairing shriek pierces the heavens.
"Calm down, gotta calm down..." Yuu clutches their head, sprinting in circles. "Poké-Pokémon's better than Fate... at-at least people don't die here... if I ignore the artstyle... plenty of girls too... yeah... better my ass! I don't know jack about this world! Never played the games, only watched part of the first anime season, dammit!!"
"What's all the noise, Yuu?"
The door slides open. Standing there is a woman—apron around her waist, frying pan in hand, looking no older than 25, radiating mature, intellectual beauty.
"Even if you're getting your first Pokémon from the Professor today, you can't scream like that. The neighbors will complain."
Yuu instantly chills—this beauty is proof! The 3D Pokémon world has hot women! And probably lots of them!
"Ah... got too excited, sorry." Yuu immediately plays along. Screaming "who are you where am I" would be a terrible move.
From that one line, it's clear: Yuu's really in the Pokémon world. And apparently, they're the same age as Ash, about to get their starter gear—er, starter Pokémon?
"Good, you've calmed down." The apron beauty smiles, patting Yuu's head. "It's normal to be excited. Daddy couldn't sleep the night before getting his first Pokémon either..."
...Dad-dy?
This face. This voice. This ch—wait, flat...
CRACKLE—
The sound of flesh and blood petrifying into rock.
HOLD UP!
Brain flooded with "trap, Hideyoshi, yooooooo," Yuu realizes something worse—if this guy's "Daddy," then what does that make me?
CRASH—
The sound of the rock layer shattering.
Using the house's floor plan (which somehow popped into their head), Yuu zooms past Trap-Dad at subsonic speed, tumbles down the stairs, and bolts to the first-floor bathroom! Mirror!
"..."
Yuu stares deadpan at the reflection.
A delicate, adorable loli stares back—smooth shoulder-length dark purple hair, rosy cheeks, slightly upturned watery blue eyes... looks like a 10-year-old Saeko-senpai...
P.S. Yuu confirmed pre-mirror: this body is still 100% dude.
THUD—
The sound of a forehead smashing into glass.
"Ara... Yuu's doing weird things again?" The voice of the cheap "Dad" drifts downstairs, mildly concerned. "I wonder who they take after..."
————————————————
On the peaceful roads of Pallet Town, Yuu Kisaragi—now wrapped in a loli body (nope), or rather, a trap's body (still nope)—shuffles forward like a depressed snail, occasionally poking at the air.
Not because of "Brain Burst" installation, schizophrenia, or finger spasms. No, Yuu found a system in their head called:
"Battle! Hot-Blooded Pokémon Trainer."
Y'know, the infamous, widely beloved, scam-tier system second only to the Main God, adored by authors and readers alike.
Overall, Yuu's cautiously optimistic about this squatter in their brain—they know squat about Pokémon, so a cheat is better than nothing. Plus, they've never read about systems frying their hosts' brains...
So Yuu clicks on the [Attributes] tab with mild anticipation...
Name: Yuu Kisaragi
Master: ???
Class: ???
Gender: ???
Stats: ???
STR: ???
END: ???
AGI: ???
MGI: ???
Noble Phantasm: ???
Class Skills: ???
Personal Skills: ???
...
SCAM ALERT!!
Yuu's composure shatters. The fact that everything except the name (including gender) is "???" isn't the issue—it's the "Class," "Noble Phantasm," and "Skills" part! The system's title clearly says Hot-Blooded Pokémon Trainer, right!?
Yuu exits the menu, squints at the logo—only to spot the mostly-erased subtitle:
"Duel! Fuyuki's Holy Grail War."
orz...
As Yuu debates flipping off the sky to honor the Isekai Gods, a flashing envelope icon appears:
"Dear... I mean, Respected Isekai Subject #2435047,
Due to... unforeseen circumstances, your intended destination (Fate Dimension #0623) was swapped with Pokémon Dimension #0147. Your complimentary system has been updated to match the Pokémon universe. Enjoy your stay~"
"P.S. Also due to unforeseen circumstances, Pokémon Dimension #0147 has undergone minor alterations. Treat them as fun surprises~"
"P.P.S. Please rate your customer service experience: 1. Satisfied; 2. Extremely Satisfied; 3. I love you~"
Suppressing the urge to vomit blood, Yuu reopens the [Attributes] tab:
Name: Yuu Kisaragi
Stats: Attack: 0
Defense: 0
Sp. Atk: 0
Sp. Def: 0
Speed: 0
Skills: None
Main Quest: Pokémon Master: Win the League Championship; Reward: Mystery Surprise
Side Quest: First Pokémon: Obtain a Pokémon from Prof. Oak—0/1; Reward: All Stats +1, Immortality Lv1
...
PFFT—
The blood finally sprays.
THIS IS STILL A SCAM!!!
All stats ZERO?! Even "???" was better than this!! This pathetic stat sheet might just be the laughingstock of the entire isekai industry!!
"I see... I'm not the protagonist... just an extra... heh..."
On Pallet Town's serene path, a shadowy figure shrouded in despair trudges toward Oak's lab...