I glanced at my wristwatch. 7:00 PM.
I was supposed to be on duty at the hospital by now, but I had taken the day off. All because my sister and her perfect family decided to come home for a vacation.
I work as a registered nurse at St. Calisha Medical Center.
I lay still on my bed, staring at the ceiling for nearly ten minutes, doing absolutely nothing. Everything felt boring and pointless.
"This is so frustrating. Where can I even go tonight?" I muttered to myself.
Honestly, I should not have filed for leave. Staying home was clearly a bad idea. I was getting nothing out of being here except a headache.
Ring! Ring!!
My phone rang from the coffee table. I reached for it and saw that it was Keturah.
I answered without energy. "What is it?"
"Hey, girl. You are off-duty, right? Let us party. I know you do not want to stay in that suffocating house."
I smiled at nothing in particular, like the universe had finally sensed that I needed to escape before I lost my mind.
"Where?" I asked excitedly.
Keturah always knew what I needed. That is why I loved her so much. She never failed me.
"At Velvet 9. Let us go."
"Alright! Wait for me there, my dear."
I felt my mood lift. I sprang up from bed and rushed to my walk-in closet to find something to wear. I picked a bold red fitted dress, sleeveless, backless, and just above the knee, with a sexy little slit on the side.
I looked stunning. Feeling more alive, I went straight to the bathroom. I stripped off my clothes and turned on the shower.
As the water poured over me, I closed my eyes, letting my thoughts drift. I was tired of everything Mom and Dad kept saying.
"When are you getting married?"
"When will you give us a grandchild?"
"Have you not moved on from Lucien yet?"
Everything they asked connected to the same pain. And I was sick of it. It felt like I was always being humiliated, always being compared, always being reminded that I was not enough.
Did I really need to have a child just to shut them up? Was that the only way to prove I had moved on?
The truth is, I do not want a boyfriend. I do not want a husband. I am not ready for that. I am scared of being hurt again.
But a child? That, I am ready for. Maybe I will stay single forever. A mother without a man. That sounds much better than being heartbroken all over again. I badly want to have a child.
I want to feel what it is like to be a mother. I believe a child could fill the emptiness I feel inside. The lack of love. The lack of care. Maybe, just maybe, that child could finally complete me.
The thing I envy most about my sister is not her beauty or her perfect husband. It is her daughter.
Vivienne is beautiful, kind and innocent. I love that child deeply, even if I do not get along with her parents. I have always loved kids. Since the beginning.
Even at the hospital, it is the children that bring me joy. They are the only ones who can still make me smile on hard days.
When I finished showering, I dried off quickly and got dressed. I did my makeup and fixed my hair. Just a few more finishing touches and I was ready to go.
I grabbed my phone and my red pouch from the coffee table. Tonight, I was going out. Not just to party. But maybe… to take the first step toward something that would finally change my life.
I stepped out of my room, and just as I reached the bottom of the stairs, I heard the sweetest sound in the world, my niece Vivienne's laughter.
Heaven! A smile instantly formed on my lips. But it vanished just as quickly when Dad's eyes met mine. Everyone was in the living room, laughing and chatting like one big, happy family.
Wow. What a scene.
"Where are you going, sweetheart?" Dad asked, his voice soft and sugar-coated.
I almost laughed. Just earlier, his tone was full of anger. Now he sounded like the kindest man on earth.
That was always how it went with him and Mom. One moment, they were scolding me like I had committed a crime. The next, they were being nice again, as if they knew their harshness only pushed me further away.
"Just heading out to a bar. Party stuff. I want to enjoy my leave," I said casually.
Dad sighed and nodded, clearly knowing I had no desire to stay in this house tonight.
"Alright. Take care, alright?"
I walked over and gave both Mom and Dad a cheek kiss like a good daughter, how plastic of me, honestly. I also kissed baby Vivienne on the cheek. But I did not bother to even glance at Talia or Lucien.
And no, I am not bitter. I headed for the front door, but just as I stepped out, I heard my sister's voice.
" Athilda , take care, okay? There are so many bad guys out there," she said sweetly.
I gave a small smirk, shook my head, and walked away without a word.
I climbed into my car, started the engine, and sped off toward Velvet 9.
As I drove, my mind wandered to a future that I had been daydreaming about more and more often lately, a future where I was already a mother.
How beautiful would it feel to hear a tiny voice call me "Mommy"?
Maybe, once I have a child, all the things I hate about myself will slowly fade. Maybe the jealousy would disappear, and I would finally feel complete.
I want a child. That is the one thing I am sure of now. Besides, I have saved enough. I can afford to raise a child on my own. I have the means, the mindset, and the heart for it.
After about thirty minutes of driving, I finally arrived at Velvet 9.
I parked my car in the lot, and the moment I stepped out, I was greeted by the sight of a couple making out like there was no tomorrow.
I winced and quickly looked away.
My eyes are still untouched. And yes, my whole body is still untouched.
I rarely go to bars or hang out like this. Most of the time, I am stuck in the hospital. My life has always been about work..work, work, and more work. I pour all my energy into my patients. Because honestly, they are the only ones who make me feel alive.
Helping people survive, being part of their healing, that is what brings me joy.
I walked straight into Velvet 9. The music hit me instantly, loud and wild. The scent inside was a mix of cigarettes, alcohol, perfume, and everything in between.
I scanned the place, looking around for Keturah. Before I could spot her, someone grabbed my arm.
I turned, and there she was.
"Hey, Kee. Where are we going?" I asked as she pulled me forward instead of greeting me properly.
"To the second floor. VIP section. Let us catch up and relax first before we really enjoy the night," she said cheerfully.
This was Keturah Celeste Rosales, my best friend since high school. My ride-or-die. The one who always made things better.
"Who are you with tonight?" I asked Keturah as we walked properly now, thankfully, she had stopped dragging me like a sack of rice.
"My boyfriend and his friends," she said cheerfully again.
"Oh, alright. Let's go then. I have something to tell you, by the way," I said as we headed upstairs. I was planning to tell her about what happened at home, and also about the crazy plan forming in my head.
"Oh, I like the sound of that!" she replied with a grin. Keturah was the only person I trusted with my deepest thoughts, especially the messy ones.
A few minutes later, we arrived at the VIP room of Velvet 9. As soon as we opened the door, I was greeted by a group of four guys, including Prince, Keturah's boyfriend, and two other girls who looked like they were our age.
"Hi, Ath!" Prince stood up to greet me with a quick cheek kiss.
"Hey," I said with a smile, returning his greeting. I waved at the rest of the group politely.
"I'm Kyo," said the guy with curly hair.
"I'm Jericho. Echo, for short," another one added with a bright smile. His braces made him look extra cute, in fairness.
"And I'm JC," said the last guy. He had fair skin and soft eyes, definitely the mestizo type.
"I'm Karyle," said one of the girls. She had a very sweet face.
"And I'm Haydee, Kyo's girlfriend." She giggled.
Oh. So curly-haired Kyo was already taken. And here I was planning to flirt later when I got a little drunk. Hmmm... Maybe.
I smiled and shook hands with all of them. "Nice meeting you all," I said warmly.
"Oh, by the way, we will just be over here for a bit. I will join you all later. I just need to talk to my best friend. You know, girl stuff." I turned to the girls. "Haydee, Karyle, let's chat later, okay?"
They nodded with friendly smiles, and I gently pulled Keturah toward a sofa far enough from the group for us to talk in private.
The VIP room was big, almost like a private lounge. It had a mini-bar setup, several sofas, its own restroom, and even another room inside. Imagine how fancy that was, right?
Once we were seated, Keturah turned to me quickly.
"Alright, spill. Why so secret? What is going on?" she asked, brows drawn together.
"Well, of course, I can only tell you this," I said, taking a deep breath. "Earlier at home, I got so annoyed. Mom and Dad brought up my past again. They asked me why I still do not have a boyfriend, if I have not moved on from Lucien yet, and all those tiring questions."
I told her everything, all while recalling every frustrating detail from dinner.
"Again? Did your sister not just arrive?" she asked, shaking her head.
"Yes. And get this, they said all that right in front of Ate, Lucien, and baby Vivienne. It was so embarrassing. And infuriating."
Keturah let out a deep sigh, her eyes soft with sympathy.
"So… what do you want us to do about it?" she asked seriously, crossing her arms.
I looked her straight in the eyes and said, "I have made up my mind. I want to have a child."