"You will attend therapy.
You will not flirt.
You will not blush.
And you will not fall in love… with the therapist."
— Miyu Tensai, Harem Control Act, Article 1
🏫 Location: Classroom B6-00 – Converted Into The "Anti-Romance Therapy Center"
The classroom was cold. Clinical. The chairs were spaced exactly 1.4 meters apart. No windows. One camera. Two posters on the wall:
"Touching Leads to Trouble."
"Romance is a Scam (We Have Data)."
And at the front desk: Miyu Tensai, Head of the Disciplinary Committee, wearing a white lab coat over her uniform like she was about to dissect my soul.
She pushed her glasses up with a pen.
"Sit."
I sat.
"Good." She clicked a stopwatch. "Therapy begins now."
🧠 Phase One: Cognitive De-Haremization
Miyu pulled out a whiteboard and wrote:
STEP 1: Identify Your Emotional Parasites (a.k.a. Your "Girlfriends")
"Repeat after me," she said. "Lucina is a delusion. Haruka is a hormone. Nanami is a glitch. Sakura is a hallucination. Liora is imperial propaganda."
I blinked. "…What about you?"
Her pen paused mid-stroke. A flicker of red tinted her cheeks.
"I'm the therapist," she said quickly.
"Who just referred to five real people as parasites."
"Repeat it."
I tried.
"Lucina is a… dramatic beverage thief. Haruka is… terrifying and may hear me. Nanami is a walking surveillance state. Sakura is… literally behind me right now, isn't she?"
Miyu didn't even look. "Yes."
Sakura disappeared again with a faint puff of smoke.
"And Liora," I muttered, "will sue me for slander."
Miyu closed the whiteboard. "Passable."
🧪 Phase Two: The "Romance Resistance" Test
She held up a thick manila folder labeled:
'HAREM INCIDENTS – LEVEL: EMBARRASSING'
One by one, she pulled out screenshots.
Photo evidence. Notes. Surveillance angles.
Me tripping and faceplanting into Haruka's chest (twice).
Me unconscious while Lucina "tested" if kissing could revive me.
Me handing Nanami an umbrella in the rain and accidentally causing a scene so romantic it became a school meme.
"Do you deny these?" Miyu asked coldly.
I nodded. "Yes. And no. Mostly no."
"Then let's begin the Romantic Trigger Resistance test."
She placed a bell on the table.
"When you feel anything — blush, fluster, tingling in the chest — ring the bell."
"Is there a punishment if I fail?"
"Only judgment," she said with an icy smirk. "And possibly detention with me."
That… was somehow worse than expulsion.
🔥 Test 1: Vocal Simulation – Lucina's Voice Saying "Darling~"
Miyu hit play on a recording.
"Daaaarling♥ Want to drink this questionable love potion together?"
Ding.
I rang the bell immediately.
"Too slow," Miyu said. "You're sweating."
"It's very warm in here."
"The room is set to 19°C."
"Oh."
🔥 Test 2: Haruka's Wink GIF Compilation (7 seconds long)
Ding. Ding. Ding.
"Why is there a slow-motion one?!"
Miyu raised an eyebrow. "She sent it to my inbox by accident. Three times."
🔥 Test 3: A Screenshot of Liora Threatening to Marry Me by Royal Decree
I didn't even touch the bell.
"You're improving," Miyu muttered.
"I just fear her lawyers."
🔥 Test 4: A Love Poem Nanami Wrote Using Code
Miyu read it aloud in monotone:
If (Hiro = ♥) Then Me = Happy
Ding.
I bit the bell in panic.
🥀 Phase Three: Emotional Suppression Roleplay
Miyu took out two paper masks — one labeled "ME," the other labeled "YOU."
"I'm your crush. You're going to resist temptation while I act affectionately. Understood?"
"…This feels illegal."
"Too late. Simulation begins."
She cleared her throat. Then, with absolutely no warning, she dropped her voice two octaves and whispered:
"Hey… I made lunch for you. Want to feed each other?"
I froze.
She held up the bell.
I slowly reached out… and rang it like a death toll.
"FAILURE," she said.
"I'm human!" I protested. "Also — was that really necessary?"
She blinked hard and turned her face away.
"…You're lucky I have restraint."
🕵️ Phase Four: Sabotage (a.k.a. My Girlfriends Crash Therapy)
It started subtly.
The lights flickered.
Then:
A loud thump from inside the air vent.
The camera shorted out.
And suddenly—
Lucina kicked down the back door, cape swirling.
"Honeybuns! Your vampire bride is here to rescue you from emotional sterilization!"
Haruka followed, cracking her knuckles. "Yo, Ice Queen. Step away from our man."
Nanami rolled in with a projector and a full slideshow titled:
'Why Suppressing Love Is Bad (and Kills Puppies)'
Liora arrived, sipping imported tea from a golden flask. "I filed an injunction against this therapy. It violates the Romance Acceleration Treaty of yesterday."
Sakura had already tied Miyu's chair to the floor with ninja wire.
I stared at the five of them.
And Miyu.
And then myself, questioning all life decisions.
⚖️ Confrontation: Chaos vs. Control
Miyu looked around the room, expression unreadable.
"You broke into a government-grade disciplinary program."
Lucina bared fangs. "For love."
"You bypassed three drones."
Nanami smiled. "They're cute. I named them."
"You brought tea into a sterile space."
Liora sipped. "It's earl grey. Hot."
Miyu turned to me slowly. "You… enabled this."
I raised my hands. "I told them not to come."
"You did not," said Sakura behind me.
Haruka pulled up a selfie of me in group chat saying, "Wish me luck at therapy. Or break in and save me, either way 💀."
I coughed.
"Okay, fine. Maybe I'm the problem."
Miyu removed her glasses.
The air got cold.
"I warned you, Kazuma. One more strike."
She raised her bat.
I braced myself.
But then… she didn't swing.
Instead, she sighed.
And whispered: "Strike three."
💥 Emotional Reversal
She stood before me. Stern. Eyes shimmering with something not rage.
"This is the part," she muttered, "where I'm supposed to give you detention. Or expel you. Or call your parents."
I blinked. "All solid options."
"But I can't."
Everyone fell silent.
Miyu placed her bat on the table. Gently.
"I can't punish someone for being loved."
Lucina gasped.
Nanami's eyes glowed.
Haruka fist-pumped.
Sakura nodded approvingly.
Liora… was already writing this down in her romance diary.
Miyu looked at me.
"You make this school insane. You drive me insane. But I can't stop… wanting to see what you'll do next."
Then she turned on her heel and marched toward the door.
"You're still under probation," she said without turning around.
"But… maybe next session… I'll bring tea too."
She vanished.
📲 SYSTEM UPDATE
💘 New Character Rank: Miyu has officially joined your Harem Tier List.
🧊 Role: Tsundere Therapist / Romance Regulator
🔐 Affection Level: Locked… for now
✅ Achievement Unlocked: "I Survived Love Therapy"
🧪 New Title: "Emotionally Doomed"
🛏️ That Night…
I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling.
Six girls now.
Six personalities.
One therapist-turned-maybe-crush who still might expel me.
I whispered into the night:
"Why can't I just have a normal semester?"
My phone buzzed.
It was a message from Miyu:
Miyu: "Session 2 scheduled for next week.
Bring tissues. You'll need them.
…Also. Thanks. For not making me feel alone."
[File Attached: 'accidental_smile.png']
I smiled.
And finally — finally — I let myself fall asleep.
In peace?
…Nah. Never that.