At first she shot him down immediately. A few days before Halloween, Marco asked her to hang out on Halloween. But she was still tired from the ATV riding, and his random craziness.
But now that her Mom skipped work just to be crazy about this holiday once again...she changed her mind, and sent a text to Marco.
Alex stared at her phone, the text from Marco glaring back at her:
Marco: ayyy knew ud change ur mind 😎
Marco: we should go as bonnie & clyde
She groaned and typed back:
Alex: No.
Marco: y not??
Alex: Because 1) We're not a couple, 2) You'd absolutely use it as an excuse to do something illegal, and 3) I refuse to wear a beret.
Marco: u worry bout the little details too much 😒
Marco: fine. ill do my Plan B then
Alex: What's Plan B?
Marco: u'll see
Marco: wat r *u* wearing tho
Alex paused. Oh. Right.
She hadn't planned on dressing up at all.
Alex: I don't know yet.
Marco: figure it out fast. picking u up in 1 hr
Alex: WAIT. That's too soon—
No reply.
Alex: Marco.
Alex: MARCO.
Alex: ANSWER ME.
Alex: I SWEAR TO GOD—
Nothing.
Alex exhaled sharply, tossing her phone onto the bed. Three minutes wasted. She had to think of something now.
She bolted to her room, flinging open her closet and digging through the chaos.
Think, think, think—
Her eyes landed on an old lab coat from a school science fair, a pair of goggles, and a spare clipboard.
Perfect.
She threw it all on, added a fake blood splatter (courtesy of Haley's abandoned makeup stash), and scribbled "MAD SCIENTIST" on the clipboard in messy letters.
Good enough.
Her phone buzzed.
Marco: outside
Alex groaned. Of course he's early.
She grabbed her phone, took one last look in the mirror—yep, definitely looked like a disheveled, last-minute mad scientist—and headed out.
Marco was leaning against his car, arms crossed, grinning like a lunatic.
And then Alex saw his costume.
"…Are you serious?"
Marco struck a pose, showcasing his outfit: a full-body banana suit.
"BEHOLD," he declared. "Plan B."
Alex pinched the bridge of her nose. "Why."
"Why not?" He tossed her a smaller, matching banana headband. "Here. Now we're a mad scientist and her mutant banana experiment gone wrong."
Alex stared at the headband. "No."
"Come on, it's funny!"
"It's deranged."
"Same thing."
Alex sighed but—against her better judgment—snatched the headband and put it on.
Marco pumped his fist. "LET'S GOOOOO."
As they climbed into the car, Alex couldn't help but smirk.
This is going to be a long day.
******
Their first destination was a local pumpkin patch, already bustling with families. Marco, still in his full banana suit, immediately started a one-sided rivalry with a scarecrow.
"This guy thinks he's scary?" Marco scoffed, adjusting the scarecrow's hat. "Watch this."
He then proceeded to wear the scarecrow's flannel shirt over his banana suit, declaring himself the "Scary Banana Farmer." The staff did not appreciate the improvisation.
"Sir, you can't just—"
"Run, mami!" Marco grabbed Alex's wrist, tossing a $20 bill at the cashier as they bolted, half-carved pumpkin tucked under his arm.
Alex, despite herself, was laughing too hard to protest.
——————
Next was a haunted corn maze. Marco insisted they go through it backwards to "spook the spookers."
This resulted in:
Marco jumping out at terrified teenagers, yelling "BEHOLD, THE KILLER BANANA!"
Alex accidentally knocking over a prop skeleton (which Marco then wore like a scarf).
Them getting legitimately lost and having to be rescued by an annoyed teenager dressed as a zombie.
"Worth it," Marco declared, stealing a handful of candy from the exit booth.
——————
As dusk fell, they drove past the Dunphy house—now transformed into a haunted asylum under Claire's obsessive direction.
"Damn," Marco whistled. "Your mom does not play."
Alex groaned. "She skipped work for this."
Marco's eyes lit up. "Bet we can scare her."
Before Alex could stop him, Marco:
Hid the stolen pumpkin in the bushes.
Carved a deranged smile into it with his keys.
Lobbed it onto the Dunphys' porch with a war cry of "PUMPKIN BOMB!"
Claire screamed. Phil cheered. A neighbor called the cops.
"TIME TO GO," Alex yelped, dragging Marco back to the car.
——————
Despite being clearly too old, Marco insisted on hitting up a few houses. His tactics included:
Forgetting his lines ("Uh… smell my feet?").
Trading their stolen pumpkin for a king-sized Snickers.
Arguing with a kid dressed as Spider-Man over who had the better costume ("Bananas are timeless, Miguel.").
Alex, mortified, still ended up with a pillowcase full of candy.
——————
The night ended with them sitting on the hood of Marco's car, passing a bag of candy back and forth, watching Claire dramatically re-adjust animatronics across the street.
"Your mom's kinda hardcore," Marco said, mouth full of chocolate.
"Tell me about it," Alex muttered, stealing a Reese's.
Then—sirens.
A cop car rolled up, stopping in front of the Dunphys'. Claire pointed directly at Marco's car.
"Oh shit," Marco whispered.
Alex froze. "Is this about the pumpkin?!"
"Or the corn maze. Or the scarecrow. Or—"
"JUST DRIVE."
Marco peeled out, banana suit flapping in the wind, as Alex clung to the door, laughing uncontrollably.
******
Alex groaned as sunlight streamed through the curtains, dragging her back to consciousness. Her head throbbed faintly—not from alcohol, but from the sheer chaos of last night. She blinked, her vision slowly focusing on...
A half-eaten Snickers bar stuck to her sleeve.
Dried chocolate smeared at the corner of her lips.
And Marco, still in his banana suit, sprawled half on the pull-out couch, half on the floor, face planted into a throw pillow, drooling.
She sat up slowly, wincing as the memories flooded back:
The pumpkin ambush on her mom's porch.
The corn maze escape.
The near-arrest.
And, somehow, the two of them stumbling back to Marco's place at 3 AM, still laughing, still hyped up on sugar, still—apparently—in costume.
Alex wiped the chocolate off her face, then nudged Marco's leg with her foot.
"Hey. Hey. You alive?"
Marco snorted, rolled over—and promptly face-planted onto the floor with a thud.
"…Ow," he mumbled into the carpet.
Alex sighed. "Why are you still in the banana suit?"
Marco lifted his head just enough to squint at her. "Why aren't you?"
She stared at him. "That's not an answer."
He grinned, banana peel hood flopping over one eye. "Fell asleep before I could take it off. Worth it."
Rosa chose that moment to walk in, holding a cup of coffee. She took one look at them—Alex disheveled in her mad scientist coat, Marco a crumpled banana on the floor—and sighed.
"Ay, Dios mío." She tossed a pack of wet wipes at Alex. "Clean up. Then breakfast."
Marco saluted weakly. "Yes, jefa."
As Rosa walked away, muttering in Spanish, Alex and Marco exchanged glances—then burst out laughing.
"We're never doing that again," Alex said, tossing a wet wipe at his face.
Marco caught it, still grinning. "Liar. Next year, we're going bigger."
Alex groaned—but she didn't argue.