"Alright, let's see here…" I hum, looking down at our menu consideringly, and after an incredibly brief moment, I decide, "Yeah, there's no way I'm reading this."
It's all Norse Runes! To me, the entire thing looks like someone made a spreadsheet out of the days left of their prison sentence.
In quick order, I set the menu down and slid it over to Rose.
Who sat right next to me.
"Oh, right, I should've realized…allow me!"
And I mean really right next to me.
As in, so close next to me that an arm and a leg are squished up against each other, and I'm left wondering how we're supposed to use the latter to eat.
She's able to reach over and pick up the menu just fine, but still, working with food might be a fair bit more awkward.
Seriously, who designed this?
The table is up against the wall, meaning you can only sit on the outward-facing side. There are no chairs, instead, it's more like a small bench that you and your partner are meant to sit on together.
Now, I haven't seen many people around Asgard yet, but the few I have seen are pretty big guys.
I'm talking about stereotypical Viking levels of height and muscle- real big dudes, bigger than me, and I'm not exactly a small guy.
The girls are a little taller, at least compared to what I've seen in Japan, but with how big the guys are around here, it makes me wonder what the point of these tiny benches even is.
It's just weird. The only reason I can't stop thinking about it is that there's plenty of space between the bench and the table itself, and it's not like there isn't room for a longer bench!
Seriously, if they stretched it out, they could easily seat two or three, or even four people.
I've got a few theories brewing, but I'm also wondering if there's a specific way we're supposed to be sitting on this thing.
I'll leave all that aside for now. In the meantime?
I watch as Rose's eyes dart down the menu, straight to the bottom of the page.
I noticed before that while most of the menu looks like, well, a restaurant menu in that what I assume is food is listed out for most of it, at the very bottom, there are three smaller sections of runes bundled together.
It's no wonder she's drawn to them. Not only is it a completely out-of-place section, but the runes are even a touch bigger than most of the others in font size.
The moment Rose's eyes hit them, they widened, almost comically.
She starts muttering, her accent thick, "Room Accommodations…?"
Rooms?
Haha! Okay, yeah, this place is one hundred percent a love hotel and inn mashup.
I lean over, practically looking over Rose's shoulder, now also looking down at the menu.
I still can't read it; of course, I just wanted to get closer to her ear!
"Ohoh? Accommodations, you say? They got condoms?" I muse casually.
"Um…yes, they d-" Rose blinks, abruptly realizing what I just said. Almost robotically, she turns her head slightly to look at me, her face rapidly flushing as she does so.
I merely smile at her before asking rather cheekily, "So. I wonder what lovers come to do here, hmm~?"
Rose gulps, "T-They…Oh. Oh."
Thunk.
It is now my turn to blink as Rose promptly slams her head against the table, bringing the menu down with her face.
And not just that either.
"Those…perverted…no good…rotten…! Mmmmm!"
I caught a few muffled accented words here and there as she cried in outrage into the table and menu.
Well, that took her a minute, didn't it?
"To be fair," I started, patting her on the back, "I didn't exactly expect a full love hotel with extra steps either. I was kinda leaning toward something like makeout point, if not a bit lewder."
Slowly, Rose lifts her head, tears pricking the corners of her eyes as she looks at me once more. "M-Makeout point?" She asked, a little confused.
I chuckle, "Little scenic area young couples go to and, well, make out. Usually, they're on top of hills and such, thus the 'point' part."
I know that in nearly all usages of the trope, it is supposed to be more than just making out, but that's all that ever actually happens there.
Rose smiles just a tiny bit at that, "That sounds…pleasant. And sweet."
I smile back, "It does, doesn't it?"
I'd need a car to make it work and a good spot off some hill or mountain somewhere. It's not a bad future date idea.
Unfortunately, that smile of hers goes away swiftly as she shakes her head, replaced by a sad frown.
"As for this, N-Nori, I'm so sorry-"
"Now, hold on a second," I interrupt her gently, much to her bafflement, "that menu there, it's not just sex stuff, yeah?"
Rose picks up the menu once more after a moment's hesitation and gives it a cursory glance. "There is, but I don't see why that…"
"Because you were about to go on about how much a waste of time this was, how we shouldn't have come here, all that kind of stuff, right?" I eyed her pointedly.
Rose swifty avoided my gaze, looking down instead, not saying anything.
I nodded knowingly and, just as swiftly, wrapped my arm around her waist.
"Huh- AH!?" Rose let out a shocked cry as I abruptly pulled her up onto my lap.
"Ah~..." I breathed a sigh of relief dramatically, whilst stretching my upper body just a bit, "There we go, now we both have space!"
"I g-guess?" Rose eked out shyly, moving her arms in much the same manner, far more freely.
"Anyhow, yeah, we don't have to just leave because the place might be a little more perverse." I shrug, looking down at her face with a smile. "It may not be a wholesome place, but that doesn't mean we have to be deviants. If you don't want to have sex on a table or an inn bed, or even at all, we won't. Simple as."
I certainly don't expect her to go for it. Hell, I'd be shocked if she legitimately wanted sex right away like the other girls. Rose doesn't strike me as horny as the others, after all.
Rose shimmies back and forth in my lap, which I'll admit, does things to me with her in that sun dress of hers, but I know it's not intentional, so I keep a tight leash on Nori Junior.
"It's just…" Rose bites her lip and brings her hands together, rubbing her thumbs together nervously, "Isn't it e-expected?"
"When a couple goes to a love hotel?" She nods slowly, and I sigh, "Yeah, sure. Still doesn't mean we gotta. Besides, even if we don't, it's not like they'll make fun of us. Most likely just me." Rose perks up in my arms at that, "Something, something jokes about how I couldn't get it up, something like that." I wave off dismissively.
"That's just! So…so…!" Rose trailed off even as her voice rose as if looking for the proper emotion in her head for what she just heard, unable to settle between frustration and bewilderment.
So I fill in for her, "Stupid? Yeah, I know." I shrug it off with an unfazed smile. "But I don't care what a bunch of nameless virgin losers say about me, so you don't have to worry, alright?"
Rose tilted her head toward me, clearly shocked at my words.
I held up a hand and let out a light, ashamed chuckle, "Yeah, yeah, I know. That insult was pretty blunt, also not that creative, but it's the truth, so I went with it."
Rose let out a sigh and a small smile, "Doesn't mean you should go down to their level, you." She admonishes lightly.
I couldn't help the borderline evil cackle I let out upon hearing that, "Oh, on the contrary, my sweet little Rose…I'm actually a big bully, ya see? A bully of bullies especially." I lean in closer to her face, "Anyone wants to start talking trash, they better be ready for return fire if they try that to my face. And for the people closest to me?" I eye her pointedly, "Well, only I am allowed to bulli them, bordering some specific exceptions, like family."
Rose's face lit up like the color of her nickname. "Truly?"
I simply give her a resolute nod.
Yeah, if her former Valkryie squadmates, or anyone really, that bullied her in the past show up and try anything.
Well.
Odin got off lightly because he has diplomatic immunity, essentially. Strangling the All-Maidenless would have gotten, bare minimum, several other gods all uppity, and likely would have jeopardized the alliance everyone was working toward at the time.
A flock of sad high school Karens, though?
Not so much.
"Now then." I smile and pull my head back. "Food? I've gotta admit, I'm curious to see what kinda stuff Asgard has to offer here."
"Oh, right, food! Yeah." Rose smiles, far bigger, far brighter, than she has so far as she scoops up the menu, "Very well, let's see…?" her eyes travel down the menu, "Oh! Wait, we have to pay for time here first!"
I blink at that, recalling that Hildr did mention that in passing, 'times.'
"Time for the table and such?" I asked for clarification.
Rose nods curtly as she frowns, bristling at the paper, "Yes, and these prices…"
Her hands started shaking, slightly, and I get the distinct feeling the red on her face now isn't because she's embarrassed anymore.
Yeah, normally I'd be the same. This is the first time I've ever heard of paying for time at the table myself. I know some fancy buffets give you a time limit, but there aren't any options beyond it.
Ah, well, whatever! Tonight is a special occasion.
"What's the longest time?" I ask next, my question snapping Rose out of her growing indignation at the prices, as she looks back at me.
"Three hours," she winces, before adding, "but it's a bit…much."
I wave her off. "Eh, don't worry about it. I'm paying, obviously, so we'll do that one."
Her eyes widen. "Really!? No, that's too much!"
I chuckle at her, even as her face turns pouty, "Doesn't matter to me~! Besides, when a guy takes a girl out, he pays. That's how it works. I'm taking care of you tonight, so it's worth it. Understand?"
"Y-You really-"
"Un-der-stand~?" I interrupt and stare down at the silver-haired girl, watching as her conflicted expression wilts away under my gaze.
"I promised the dating experience." I elaborated further. "You're gonna get the dating experience, got it?"
After a moment more, Rose huffed and averted her gaze bashfully. "Oh, alright!" she muttered back, almost as if whining.
She reached out once more, snatching the notepad off the table, which had a pretty standard-looking pen attached at the top, yanked said pen off, and quickly scribbled something at the top of the paper in runes.
When she was done, the runes glowed with a light mix of purple and blue before shimmering and vanishing.
As soon as Rose's writing vanished, the menu itself lit up, a part of the bottom sections specifically, one most to the right, lit up in the same way, though even that dulled quickly.
When the light died, however, it revealed that part of the menu was colored the same as the light, and unlike the light, it didn't seem to be fading anytime soon.
…Magic!
Seriously, though, pretty neat.
With a sigh, Rose sat down the pen, "There, all done."
I nod, pleased. "Food time then?"
"Mhmm!" Rose hummed and nodded back. "Do you have any preferences, or…?"
"None whatsoever." I wrapped my arms around Rose's waist and leaned forward, placing my chin on her shoulder, "I think…I'll try what you like or are having first!"
"O-Oh? Well…" Slowly, Rose leaned back into me, smiling slightly, "Okay~."
It's time for a little food marathon! And then, well, we'll see what happens from there.
~ A New Sun ~
Valhalla.
It is the largest, grandest, most golden hall that resides within Asgard.
Some would even say this majestic hall is the centerpiece of the entire realm, and due to its more central location within the realm, they might have even been correct.
At one time.
Personally, Schwertleite never really saw how the place could have been ever.
The young Valkyrie-in-training flew through the same golden halls at a leisurely pace, her face twisted with boredom and annoyance. The intricate golden columns, murals, and statues lining the halls depict long-forgotten myths of warriors and battle, not doing anything for her anymore.
'They started again. Ugh.' She inwardly gagged, passing by a small group of actual Valkyrie muttering bitterly amongst themselves.
Mostly because of them.
She didn't stay and listen, as usual, she already knew what they were going on about.
They didn't find any new Heroes to bring in, new Einherjar.
They are now jealous of so-and-so because…reasons.
The same old same old.
Ever since she started training to become a Valkyrie, this is all she's had to deal with.
She'd heard tales of how this grand hall once hosted an unfathomably large army of elite warriors, fighting and feasting amongst themselves, training for Ragnarok, the end of all days.
It would have been grand a sight once. Now, all she gets to see these days are fully grown, lonely, bitter women lamenting their job choice because those times are gone. There's no opportunity to get a heroic boyfriend, and the wages are trash.
Just thinking about it now makes Schwertleite's nose ring in disgust.
'Of course you're all sad and lonely. You sit here complaining about how bad things are instead of going out and looking!' She raved in the confines of her mind.
She'd love to say it out loud, of course, but she'd rather not deal with more jabs about her style of clothing or her inability to…well, fight.
Offensive magic is not really her thing.
Yeah, she's having a day as is, no need to add more to it.
At least Lord Odin's Personal Guard has an excuse, the horror stories she's heard of dealing with him, despite it being a 'great honor' or whatever…
At that, her frown turned sad, and Schwertleite landed on the ground.
She sighed. Unfortunately, she's still not used to Rossweisse being gone.
Not that her former senior Valkyrie probably even remembers her. They met only once, and even before then, Schwertleite had admired her.
She was younger than everyone, yet her skill, her raw talent with magic…it was awe-inspiring!
Of course, not many others saw it that way. Petty, jealous, bitter, the whole nine yards, that's how most of the others got.
But that didn't stop her! She graduated early, soared straight into the 'most honorable' position a Valkyrie could get, and then kept it longer than anyone else!
And now she's gone.
Schwertleite huffed to herself, the sound echoing lightly off the brightly lit, yet empty, golden halls.
Honestly? Schwertleite wished she could leave too. But it's not like she has anywhere else to go, so…she's stuck. For now, at least.
"Whaaaat!?"
Schwertleite flinched as an incensed screech echoed down and throughout the golden halls.
She looked around, back and forth, down either side of the hall, but saw no one.
Yet it went on.
"What do you mean she might be back!?"
Now that's new.
Well, to be fair, the screeching isn't exactly new, but the content might be!
Is someone coming back?
Well, not very many leave, so it's not guaranteed, but she can still hope!
Unfortunately, for once, the screeching didn't come again, leaving Schwertleite without anything else to go on.
Acting quickly, a shimmer of magic appears beneath her feet, and the young girl is set floating into the air once again, before quickly dashing off through the air, following the echoes of the screeching.
Thankfully, it didn't take long for her to find the source.
In an adjacent hall, one of the full-member Valkyrie Squad's magical training halls, if she remembers correctly.
Unfortunately, as a Valkyrie-in-training, she's not allowed inside. It was a good thing she didn't have to be since they left the door open just enough to listen in if one was close enough.
It is also probably how the screeching from earlier got out, these rooms are supposed to be soundproofed, after all.
In any event, Schwertleite wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so she leaned in to listen.
"...ouldn't want the Captain catching wind of this, would we!?" A new voice, different from the screeching banshee's voice from before, comes in, this one almost panicky and at nearly a whisper.
Some louder muffled sounds come soon after, it sounds like an attempt at a reply, which Schwertleite can only assume is the screamer from before.
Another voice, a third, far more mature and steady, chips in, "I doubt the Captain would care."
"She'd care if dumbass here wouldn't stop screeching about it!" Panicky shot back.
Those muffled sounds got louder still before Schwertleite got the slipping sound of tousled movement and a gasp for breath.
"You…bitch! Stop that! I couldn't breathe!" Banshee hissed at Panicky, though at a significantly more normal speaking level.
"S-Sorry!" Panicky apologized, to which Mature just gave a tired sigh.
"Alright, that's enough." Mature went on, "Now, Ortlinde? Are you sure what you heard was correct? And who did you even hear this from?"
"Ah? H-Hildr," Panicky, now properly named Ortlinde, spoke, her voice slightly less shaky, "you know? From her new…job. She said Rossweisse might have shown up there with a…guy." She spoke that last word with far more bitterness than anything else.
Schwertleite deadpanned at the door. Of course, that's the focus. It couldn't be anything else.
"You're kidding me, right?" Banshee snorted, "Rossweisse. The kissless virgin. At Hildr's workplace? Really?"
Banshee clearly wasn't buying it, and Mature spoke in the same manner, "That, and you kept saying…might?"
"H-Hildr…well…" Ortlinde continued, far more unsure now, "She never saw her face."
Banshee let out a snorting laugh, and Schwertleite could swear she felt Ortlinde flinch.
"Then what makes her think it's little Rossweisse?" Mature continued to the next logical question.
"W-Well!" Ortlinde seized the opportunity to explain, eagerly, probably a bit too eagerly, "Hildr also said the man she was with called her 'Rose' and said 'Rose' had long silver hair!"
Schwertleite could admit that 'Rose' does sound like it could be an endearing nickname for Rossweisse. It's pretty cute, too.
But the hair thing…?
"Ortlinde." Mature stated her fellow Valkyrie's name with no small amount of contempt at this point, "Nearly all Walkure have silver hair. That means nothing."
Yeah, that. Walkure, the race of Half Gods that train to become Valkyires, all tend to have silvery hair. It's as common for them as black or brown is for humans.
"B-But the nickname Grimgerde!" Another tousle of movement sounded like something being grabbed. "Come on! It has to be! It's too close!"
Mature, now properly named Grimgerde, shoots her down hard, "I think you're grasping at straws and need to stop taking so many missions into Midgard for a while. It's impairing your ability to think rationally."
Banshee snorts, once again, "Damn Grim, why do you have to be like that to pour little Ort here? You know she can't think anyway!"
"H-Helmwige!" Ortlinde cried out, another tousle of movement and cloth, another grab, "Come on! D-Don't be like that! Even if it isn't her…well, the guy this girl was with is from the East!"
With those words, it was like the entire atmosphere in the hall changed.
Schwertleite could feel it, too. It made her back bristle a bit and forced her to shiver.
Now, this is something that's only been going on recently, so Schwertleite doesn't entirely understand what the big deal is, but…
From what she understands? Ever since that alliance Lord Odin made with the East, the…Shinteo? Shindo? Pantheon, their people have been coming over to study the World Tree and their culture.
In turn, Asgard has been sending people over to the East for something similar.
During that time, well…new people meet new people; what did anyone expect, really? For them not to start fucking each other?
Honestly, Schwertleite is pretty sure a bunch of the Valkyrie are only getting pissy over this because they aren't involved in any of this. At all.
Last she heard, it was the Einherjar that Lord Odin put in charge of heading East, while she's pretty sure the East sent over a bunch of priests. Or a type of priest, anyhow. Something called Meko? Something like that. All female priest-
Oh.
Oh.
Okay, now she's starting to see it. They probably feel like they were double screwed over in getting a chance at their lazy asses finding a boyfriend huh?
So then, a Walkure girl bringing over an Eastern man…
Heh…Schwertleite wishes she could see the looks on her three seniors' faces right now!
"Say, Grim?" Helmwige, although Schwertleite preferred Banshee, suddenly spoke again through the cold silence, her voice just as chilling as the silence she pierced through, "What do you say we visit ol' Hildr, anyway? Ya know. It's been a while."
"...Why not." Grimgerde spoke, just as eerily cold, "It has been a while like you said."
"Y-Yeah! Right! A really long while!" Ortlinde added on, far more peppy than the other two.
"Shut up, Ort." "Be quiet." The other two Valkyrie stated at once, shutting her down immediately.
"O-Oh. Okay…" Ortlinde's voice sounded like it practically withered away.
How petty. They would go that far, wouldn't they, even without knowing for sure? Just pure jealousy and spite, all around
Schwertleite couldn't help but roll her eyes, flying away quickly as she heard three sets of footsteps begin to approach the door.
So it may not even be Rossweisse, hmm? Even so, it'd be wrong of her to let her seniors just carry out whatever the Hel their bitter, petty minds cook up.
Nodding resolutely to herself, Schwertleite flew off down the halls. First, she needs to find out where this Hildr's workplace is. Her name sounds familiar, but that's pretty much it.
Ah well, she was sure she could get someone to spill Hildr's life story via gossip alone; all it'd take is a little time!