With feeble arms, she huddled his trembling body, her breaths trotting inside her lungs, her eyes puckering at his trembling thighs.
She was in disbelief at her actions. She had witnessed an unusual side of her personality. Something that had only crept out of her senses when he called out the safe word.
Losing control and liking it was unimaginable for her. She had never pushed his body to such a limit where he was crying.
He turned around, whimpering, and nuzzled his face in between her breasts, his heartbeat echoing in his ears, and folded his arms around her waist. He was pushed to the edge more times than his body and mind could handle.
He was trembling, his skin dotted with goosebumps. His breaths were hitching, and his dick was still rock hard, red, and glistening with her spit.
At a moment such as that, all he desired was her arms and warmth. He needed her to tell him in his ears that he had been good, that how he performed sexually was a compliment worthy and satisfying to her. He was clinging to her with those desires.
"It's alright." She persisted, her tone sweet as honey, shivers causing goosebumps over her shoulders - the gloom had taken its place in her heart.
"You're fine." She murmured into his ear, caressing his hair with her gentle fingers. The realization of the sinister inside had surged disturbance into her. She couldn't stop thinking about it, even when Riku was lying in her arms, soliciting her care. Yet she fulfilled his need to be taken care of.
"You did good." She pacified him with delicate care and more loving words and tucked him under the quilt, admiring his beaming eyes, flushed cheeks, and plump lips in the hopes of receiving tranquility. But she failed. All she felt was regret for hurting the boy in front of her.
She moved to the porch in search of tranquility, placed her elbows on the barrier, and gazed at the moon, thinking, "What was that?"
Her hair carelessly sailed with the frosty breeze, her skin twitching with chills, her hands and feet freezing. But her eyes remained on the sky above her head, the image of him crying in her arms flashing through her mind.
She had been aware of her ominous personality. She had known this fact for a long time, but she never understood it until she had closure with herself.
It frightened her.
Next morning. Right after that moment, she woke up. Tuesday was an unusual day to meet her friends, she dropped a request in her group chat for a conversation in the evening.
She skipped calling them the whole day, for she had no words to explain her situation. It was as if her words had sunk in her throat. She just wanted to meet them as soon as possible, that was the only thing jogging in her mind that day.
She even omitted many words with Riku, leaving him lethargic again.
Even though he did not mind her silence, for he had grown accustomed to her ever-changing behavior, from nice to distant to hungry for him, it ached his heart.
That evening, he quietly watched her get dressed in her black leather jacket and loose blue jeans, a black cap, and a white handbag, then leave in a hurry after a warm kiss on his cheek.
Yet another showcase of unusual attitude.
'Her mood changes like the weather.' He stood suspended, thinking at the entrance. 'Why is she acting like that?'
In the corner of the valley, at the window side of the famous cafe, with soul music on the speaker in the corner of the wall, she was waiting for her friends, staring at the weather turning misty and blue in the dark sky.
It was calmer and cozier inside, with cream-colored walls and green plants hanging on the large glass windows. A total opposite of the world outside.
She forecasted that it was going to rain, and within five minutes, it had begun pouring, with the arrival of Amara.
A beautiful woman of the same age. Amara was closest to her, shorter and adorable in appearance. Her pale skin and her long, luscious hair promoted an imagery of innocence. Her round and bright eyes, a warm touch to her round cheeks.
"Hey!" She instantly sat beside Ziya, her eyes beaming the uneasiness in her heart for Ziya. "What happened?" She questioned, took her black gloves off, and sluggishly drew a chair closer to Ziya.
Ziya was about to answer when Rahul approached. His brown leather jacket and his black leather gloves were dampened, his hair dry from the helmet.
"What happened?" He questioned, standing on the other side of Ziya, his hands washing off the raindrops from his jacket and off his brown skin. He was just as worried as Amara.
"I did something," Ziya murmured, her fingers curling around the cup of the coffee she had ordered right the second she had entered the cafe. She seemed off, less energetic. Her body was leaning against the table.
"What did you do this time?" Rahul chuckled, taking a seat beside her. His intention was not to hurt her but to lighten the mood. It had always been in his nature. He was always the one who would crack jokes in the most serious situations just to lighten the atmosphere.
A smile curled Ziya's lips. She scoffed and rolled her eyes, glaring at him. Her cheeks puffed up, and her brown eyes were red and swollen.
"Okay." Rahul instantly defended, his hands protecting his chest from any injury Ziya might cause.
"But do tell us what happened. Why are you worried?" Rahul included Amara, nodding her head in agreement.
"Well, I told you about him crying that night, right? I realized I was being distant. So, I tried finding a solution to that issue, but I ended up getting frustrated." Ziya defined, sighing warm breaths. She did not even have the energy to be serious enough; that's how tired she had grown of her thoughts.
"I couldn't find any solution and then it all came up and I just - I just - well, things happened and he ended up crying." She included observing both of their expressions alter, on the verge of laughing and worried at the same time.
"You - tortured the boy, didn't you?" Amara suspected, her eyebrows puckering and her lips instantly sealing themselves from cracking up.
"It's a serious topic, everyone." Ziya boomed in her weak tone, her features a copy-paste of theirs. She was aware she sounded insane, the way she handled things.
"You were frustrated so you --" Rahul replied, covering his mouth.
"Yes-- I did it." Ziya finished his sentence, cutting the thread of their control over their laughs.
"Why would you take it out on him?" Amara laughed, curled against the table, her head against her hands on the table.
"Yeah!" Rahul joined it, grazing Ziya's grumpy cheek, suspended in a place like her eyes, done with her friends.
"Well, this is exactly you. What can we say?" Rahul snickered, hiding his mouth. "And it is done now. So, don't be like this. Tell us, what's the problem now?"
"I realized something about myself." Ziya's tone altered, her eyes dazed up with an exhale, and she fell to the table. "It was scary. He called out the safe word, but I wanted to go on. I didn't want to stop. He was even crying, and I loved it. I - I wanted to see him cry more."
As the laughter died down, Rahul and Amara exchanged glances. They understood each other - they were puzzled and worried, of course. Ziya was way out of her character and apathetic.
"I - I felt scared of myself the moment he called out the safe word. I was out of it the whole session. I came to my senses when he said orange."
"I mean - there's nothing wrong with wanting to see him cry during sessions." Rahul, who was submissive, suggested.
"I know." Ziya peered at him, her eyes red with dread, an astonishment to Rahul. "But I'm scared that I might break him. I want to do so much to him. The whole night, I had been thinking of the things I wanted to do to him, and no matter how scared I was, I couldn't stop myself. I feel scared. I might do something he would not like."
"What do you want to do?" Amara saw her expression change from confused to worried at the burst out of Ziya. She was also a part of the BDSM lifestyle but was not yet sure of her preference for either a Sub or a Dom.
"I -" Ziya wavered, scared to be judged by her friends, but said, "I want to break his legs."
"What?" Rahul's eyebrows raised, as did Amara's.
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END OF THE CHAPTER
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